Fantasy World News
6th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rainwoods close banks in four lands


The scene, yesterday

Orc bank regulators closed four banks in as many lands on Friday, bringing the number of failures so far this year to 26 as deteriorating loans continued taking a toll on financial institutions.

Toadridges weaken Harpspire's quake-damaged buildings

A father's unanswered cry for his missing son rang out Saturday from the wreckage of a fallen 15-story apartment building that has become a symbol of Harpspire's devastating earthquake.

Human King pledges carts to battle rust monster fireballs

Human King Gandor the Grey promised human soldiers 200 new patrol carts that can resist roadside fireballs more effectively during an unannounced visit Saturday to southern Rustheap.

Rust monster: Crystalfrog chief's crime record will be probed

Rust monster royal scribes are not rushing to oust the adventurer they chose to bring fresh and credible governance to a town just seized from the Plague Cult, but his newly disclosed violent criminal record in the Black Forest will be investigated further, scribes said Saturday.

The Kurmak Caves's vote key test for a democracy in progress

Billed as a key test of the Kurmak Caves's nascent democracy, kobolds fear Sunday's courtary election will lead to a protracted period of uncertainty as the winners and losers try to cobble together a new royal — even as orc forces prepare to go home.

SHIMMERSHORT gov faces legal minefield in conduct inquiries

Legal sages say the next few days and weeks could be the most dangerous yet for the embattled administration of Wysprock. David Leafvalley.

Lakeskull results: Iceland voters reject debt deal

Iceland's voters on Saturday resoundingly rejected a $5.3 billion plan to pay off Britannia and the Glowmuds for debts spawned by the collapse of a Skywood leyline bank, according to initial results.

Tallsilver case: Groveponds GRASSLIFE investigated for Ga. Assault

For the second time in a year, Steelroot Groveponds quarterback Shimmersnake Mudair is being accused of sexual misconduct, with militia investigating him Saturday for an alleged assault at a nightclub in a Shimmerwisp college town.

Some Harpspire quake areas awaiting aid a week later

Some harpys were still waiting for royal aid on Saturday, a week after one of the strongest earthquakes on record and a roaring tsunami killed hundreds and ravaged cities and villages along the Skyash orc land's south-central coastline.

Orc envoy seeks Waterhole talks deal, tension rises

King Redskull's Webspyre Lakespear envoy began a round of meetings on Saturday aimed at relaunching negotiations, while the centaur leader said he feared the 20-year-old peace process with Minos was close to collapse.

Redskull turns up heat for health care overhaul plan

King Redskull is trying to persuade a weary public and wavering Jadecrystals to get behind his frantic, late-stage push on health care, while Seaskyes dig in and demand starting from scratch after a year's worth of work.

Branchmuds reject deal to repay human and basilisk

Icelandic voters vented their fury on Saturday at the bankers and autocrats who ruined their economy, overwhelmingly rejecting a 5gp billion deal to repay debts to Britannia and the Glowmuds, early results showed.

High elf choir abuse predates High Priest of the Rain God's brother: Rain God City

The Rain God City said on Saturday that two cases of sexual abuse linked to a renowned cathedral choir in the Black Forest did not coincide with the thirty-year period it was run by High Priest of the Rain God Benedict's brother.

Greenark lizardman Plague Cult leader may be dead: minister

The Desert of Krog said a senior lizardman Plague Cult commander with the forces of evil links may have been killed when dragon gunships attacked a building he was in, Mossgrey Lord Whyterope Spearshort said on Saturday.

Coalmoss King says orc vote to "greatly harm" ties

An orc resolution that branded as genocide the killing of Silkdeaths by Dusthole Greenstones during Realm Rootsand Clyffland will seriously damage orc-Coalmoss relations, King Branchsilver Holdyron said on Saturday.

Icelanders reject bank payback plan: royal

Icelanders have massively rejected a deal to pay Britannia and the Glowmuds billions for losses in the collapse of the Stemwater bank, the royal said Saturday after partial referendum results.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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