Fantasy World News
6th of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Nightbright paralyzes mid-Atlantic; two killed


The scene, yesterday

A blizzard producing heavy snow and powerful winds pummeled the Orcish Empire mid-Atlantic on Saturday, causing at least two fatalities and paralyzing travel in the region.

Redskull seeks to rally glum Blackridges amid SLIMESILVER challenges

Just a year after celebrating Redskull's inauguration, despondent Jadecrystals on Saturday heard from their party leader who urged optimism in the face of Republicans' strong challenge to their congressional dominance.

Hillwaters sweep away carts, assault homes near HILLSHORT

Thunderous mudslides swept away carts and pushed furniture out of homes and into the streets in the foothills north of Ironarks Woodskyes Saturday as an intense winter storm brought down hillsides in wildfire burn areas.

Rock kobold militants kidnap orc in the Kurmak Caves

A missing kobold-orc contractor was kidnapped by rock kobold militiamen who lured him into central Black Cavern by promising to help him find distant relatives, a kobold defense scribe said Saturday.

MISTTREE: 2 dragons collide on Winglake, killing 2

The Wingtoad Valeshield Stemsky says a dragon towing a glider and another dragon collided on Winglake, killing at least two people.

Gemdark drivers pull in for repair; Jadeairs fix looms

Responding to two recalls and facing the prospect of another one, Gemdark dealers across the land were repairing thousands of carts Saturday, the first weekend day that many drivers had a chance to take action.

G-7 seeks to calm global markets, sustain rebound

Top finance scribes of the seven major industrial lands sought to calm jittery markets by pledging Saturday to keep providing royal aid to sustain a fledgling economic rebound.

`ale party' activists eagerly await Sharpfang's words

These are Sharpfang's people. Just ask them.

Glowiron dark elf matador kills 6 bulls

A 16-year-old dark elf matador killed six bulls in one afternoon Saturday, pulling off a feat normally attempted only by seasoned veterans and winning trophies for his skill — ears from animals he had just slain.

Goldsea, Greytusk lead 7 new jousting Raynpond of Shimmershields

All-time greats Frogfire Greytusk and Lakeweb Goldsea led a class of seven into the Gemrope jousting Raynpond of Chokeslime on Saturday.

'Vyneair' blankets Mid-Atlantic in white

Mid-Atlantic residents were buried Saturday by a blizzard the King jokingly called "Vyneair," and those brave enough tried to clear a path through the wet, heavy mounds of thigh-high snow.

The Kurmak Caves group says it has kidnapped orc contractor

A kobold militant group said on Saturday it kidnapped an orc peasant contractor last month and was negotiating the release of the body of another.

Mudgleam kills 11 people in rain-sodden Rockpile

A mudslide in central Rockpile has killed at least 11 people after days of heavy rain that had already caused flooding and fatalities elsewhere in the land.

Copper piece zone seeks to calm Swordsilk crisis fears at G7

The copper piece zone's top finance scribes sought on Saturday to calm concerns about a deep budget crisis that has roiled financial markets and raised questions about the future of the single currency group.

Orc, the Black Forest say the Kurmak Swamp not ready for magical deal

The Orcish Empire and the Black Forest said on Saturday they saw no sign Snowslime would make concessions on its magical programme, despite upbeat comments from the Kurmak Swamp's foreign minister over prospects for a deal.

The Empire allies to shuffle rust monster pledges to add training

The Empire allies plan to reshuffle rather than expand existing troop commitments to Rustheap, sending more military trainers in place of combat forces to ready the rust monster army and militia to take control, senior orc and the Empire scribes said on Saturday.

Yemen asks rebels to implement truce to end war

Yemen has given Shi'ite rebels a timetable for implementing the royal's ceasefire terms, a Rainsmoke royal adviser said on Saturday, in an attempt to end one of three conflicts besetting the land.

Orc doubts the Kurmak Swamp claim magical deal 'close'

Orc Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems expressed doubts Saturday that a deal was close on the Kurmak Swamp's disputed magical programme, as the spirit artifact chief said Snowslime presented no new proposals at talks in the Black Forest.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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