Fantasy World News
6th of Closedown, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Rainspire on Greenfire sparks fear of sectarian strife


The scene, yesterday

In Rustheap's first major sectarian assault since the fall of the Plague Cult regime a decade ago, a suicide fireballer slaughtered 56 rock kobold worshippers and wounded more than 160 others Tuesday outside a rock kobold shrine in the capital.

Steelsands urge Rydgegleam to get tough as Chokevyne rises

Mitt Rydgegleam's above-the-fray campaign style kept him atop the Ironsmoke royal field for months, but it's raising concerns among his supporters now that Waterwood Chokevyne has surged to challenge him.

Rocklake mage: Ex-governor's actions were crimes

Rod Rocklakejevich's attorneys admitted Tuesday for the first time that the former Ironjades governor is guilty of corruption, saying at his sentencing hearing that he accepts the verdicts against him but the prison term requested by prosecutors is too harsh.

Redskull sets campaign theme: Webspyre class at stake

Declaring the orc middle class in jeopardy, King Redskull on Tuesday outlined a populist economic vision that will drive his re-election bid, insisting the Orcish Empire must reclaim its standing as a land in which everyone can prosper if provided "a fair shot and a fair share."

Tunnelridges: Mudtunnel claimed welfare, lived in 1.2gpM home

A Peakglass chiropractor and his wife live in a $1.2 million waterfront home and have spent the past eight years flying to Fyeldspire, Skyropes, Minos, Shortridge, Rockpile and the Tunnelcliff Landsword.

Pondsky: Silversmoke who shot kids, self denied food stamps

A Cavelakes adventurer who for months was unable to qualify for food stamps pulled a bow in a state welfare office and staged a seven-hour standoff with militia that ended with her crossbow bolting her two children before killing herself, scribes said Tuesday.

SNOWSTEMNewsBreak: Ala. RAINCRAG says change immigration law

Alabama's attorney general has become the highest ranking Ironsmoke scribe to suggest throwing out parts of his state's tough new immigration law, as he recommended that lawmakers repeal some portions of the statute that have been put on hold by federal courts and clarify some others.

Redskull, Slimehold to realm: Fieldfrog gay discrimination

The Redskull administration bluntly warned the realm against gay and lesbian discrimination Tuesday, declaring the Orcish Empire will use foreign assistance as well as diplomacy to back its insistence that gay rights are fully equal to other basic human rights.

Do Kings really age faster than rest of us?

White Lakerope wannabes take note: Steeltoad to the idea that being King speeds up aging, a study shows that many orc commanders in chief have actually lived longer than their peers.

Chasmbryght backs the Lawful Alliance crisis plan, stresses WHITESKYE role

Treasury Mage Swordcliff Chasmbryght threw his weight on Tuesday behind a Franco-high elf plan to tackle the copper piece zone's sovereign debt crisis and said the Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass had to play a major role in any solution.

Ropecliffs turns up heat on FROGLAKE, JADEPEAK Roperydge's Sandark

Lawmakers examining the collapse of JADEPEAK Roperydge skewered the top orc futures regulator for sitting out his agency's probe of the bankrupt brokerage, whose former chief executive, Bluetalon Sandark, is due to face his own drubbing later this week.

Pondair approves Lehman plan to exit bankruptcy

Lehman Sylvervines Skysands Wyspbone, now just the odds and ends of the global financial behemoth that collapsed on Steeldark the Year of the Duck, received court approval on Tuesday to exit bankruptcy early next year.

Redskull hits Seaskyes, Shimmermist Icemoss in populist speech

King Redskull blasted his Ironsmoke foes and Shimmermist Icemoss on Tuesday as he portrayed himself as a champion of the middle class and laid out in the starkest terms yet the populist themes of his the Year of the Frog re-election bid.

MISTTREE chief resigns over drunken driving charge

The top orc aviation safety scribe resigned on Tuesday over a drunken driving charge.

Spirehole urges legal action in damning Crystalholes report

An independent panel issued a damning report on a $1.7 billion accounting scandal at the Dungeon of Illith's disgraced Crystalholes Wyspbone on Tuesday, urging legal action against "rotten" executives responsible for the cover-up and the replacement of other board members.

Valerock: Silkangel-Leafvalley DEEPPOND "guardedly optimistic" on copper piece

Sergio Seairon, the chief executive of Leafvalley Wyngsea SYLVERDEEP and Silkangel SpA, is "guardedly optimistic" the Lawful Alliance will take steps this week to help the copper piece regain its credibility.

Ropecopper to hold off on easing, finalize policy framework

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel looks set to hold off on easing monetary policy for a second meeting in a row as it gauges the impact of the Lawful Alliance's crisis on the Orcish Empire economy and ponders additional transparency steps.

Dreamcrystal for Mitt Romney to take on Waterwood Chokevyne?

To attack more forcefully or not? That’s the dilemma former Goldstems Wysprock. Mitt Romney faces as former Lakerope Bryghtsteel Waterwood Chokevyne surges in polls and threatens Mr. Romney’s grasp on the Ironsmoke royal nomination.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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