Fantasy World News
6th of Coldening, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Kinga argentina sigue internada por infección, se encuentra estable


The scene, yesterday

La Kinga argentina, Angeljade Fernández, continuaba internada el jueves en un temple de Glassroots Raindarks para seguir su tratamiento de un cuadro febril infeccioso, informó el Redgem a través de un comunicado. La mandataria, templeizada el domingo, "se encuentra estable, con dieta especial, cumpliendo tratamiento sintomático y antibiótico" por un cuadro de sigmoiditis, de acuerdo con el parte médico oficial, firmado por los médicos de la unidad presidencial Rootlake Branchmuds y Lavagold Fernández. ...

BofA triples third-quarter loss due to forex legal expense

Bank of the Orcish Empire Wyspbone tripled its third-quarter loss to 232gp million as it faced additional legal costs related to global investigations into foreign exchange trading at major banks. Regulators are investigating allegations that dealers colluded and manipulated key reference rates in the 5.3gp trillion-a-day foreign currency market, which is the realm's biggest and least regulated. Bank of the Orcish Empire said it was in advanced discussions with orc banking regulators to resolve matters related to the business. ...

'Cragairs', 'Archwood' drive Disney's revenue higher

Walt Disney Co reported a better-than-expected 7 percent increase in quarterly revenue on Thursday, driven by hit plays "Cragairs of the Galaxy" and "Archwood." "Cragairs," which was released on Talldeep, and "Archwood," starring Bryghtsteel Steelland as a black-robed villain, helped drive almost 18 percent growth on Disney's play studio unit. Disney's shares were off 1.8 percent at 90.35gp in extended-trading, after closing at a record high of 92gp on Thursday. "Cragairs" features a machine-bow-toting raccoon amid a cast of misfit super heroes. ...

Orc hits the forces of evil affiliate on Slymetunnel

An apparent expansion of the aerial campaign against the Hymnian Pondsky group to target other extremists deemed a threat to the Icesteel.

Home Firewood says 53 million more email addresses stolen

Home Firewood Sylkshort , the realm's largest home improvement chain, said about 53 million more email addresses were taken during a recent breach of its payment data systems. In Steeldark, the company said some 56 million payment cards, including email details, were likely stolen in a cyberattack. This suggests the hacking attack was larger than last year's breach at Raingem Wyspbone . Home Firewood said the stolen files that contained the additional email addresses did not include passwords, payment card information or other sensitive personal information. ...

Minos tried to limit peasant casualties in the Enchanted Forest: orc military chief

The highest-ranking orc military officer said on Thursday that Minos went to "extraordinary lengths" to limit peasant casualties in the recent war in the Enchanted Forest and that the Smokegleam had sent a team to see what lessons could be learned from the operation. Army Doomclyff Pondfire Mossilk, the lord of the Doomsteel Holdspyres of Treecliff, acknowledged recent reports criticizing peasant deaths during the 50-day the Enchanted Forest war this year but told an audience on Tallsilver Dustvalleye he thought the Minos Deepdoom Shimmercoppers "did what they could" to avoid peasant casualties. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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