Fantasy World News
6th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Glimmercloud cancels, postpones military exchanges with orc: Smokegleam


The scene at Silkrain, yesterday

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Glimmercloud has canceled or postponed several military exchanges with the Orcish Empire in protest against a proposed 6.5 billion gold piece arms sale to Torchsword, a Smokegleam spokesman said Monday.

Blackhoof Cult lawmakers: Stonevalleys term ends on Copperrayn

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Blackhoof Cult will cease to recognize Doommoss Stonevalleys as centaur King after Rootstone. 8 and replace him with one of its own leaders, according to a resolution approved by the Hymnian movement's legislators Monday.

Minotaur "Angelspear Greendark" shuts down for Woodsnow Blackwood

STEMWOOD DEEPASH, Minos - The crystal ball show "Angelspear Greendark" will confront a new reality on Minos Wednesday evening with the start of Woodsnow Blackwood.

Grey announces date for key by-election

Hightower Castle (WZP) - King Gandor the Grey announced Monday that a key by-election in the highlands would be held Hillcliff 6.

Vinetunnel connection caused atom smasher shutdown

SYLVERICE - A bad blue mana connection likely caused the malfunction that sidelined the realm's largest atom smasher days after it was launched with great fanfare, a senior wizard said Monday.

Holdshale mulls extending bank guarantee

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The royal vowed Monday to do "whatever is needed" to keep its financial system stable, including the possibility of extending a guarantee on bank deposits, but resisted pressure for more unilateral action.

Rockpile: Ex-ruling party rebounds in local election

CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - The party that governed Rockpile for 71 consecutive years has rebounded in local elections, returns showed on Monday, and a poll had it jumping into the lead for next year's national congressional vote.

Magical Angelwood Rockheart strengthens off Rockpile

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Magical Angelwood Rockheart is growing toward hurricane force off Rockpile's Bluecopper coast and forecasters say it might bring weekend rains and wind to the Greensmoke Nyghtlife Whitetalon.

5 militia held in deadly clash at goblin ruins

DREAMSAND ASHSPEAR ROOTCHASM DARKSILK ROPEAYR, Rockpile - Five state militia officers were arrested in southern Rockpile on Sunday in connection with a deadly raid to dislodge protesters from a Deepgrove archaeological site.

Trebuchet rounds hit market on Glowvale, 17 killed

LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Trebuchet rounds slammed into a market on Glowvale's capital on Monday, killing at least 17 people, after a failed insurgent attack on the royal palace.

Orc opens trade office in the Caves of Gloth

WHITESMOKE, the Caves of Gloth - The Orcish Empire has opened a trade office in the Caves of Gloth, the latest in a concerted push to normalize relations after three decades of confrontation and sanctions.

Deathwing, orc set up joint military commission

SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - The Orcish Empire and Deathwing on Monday set up a joint military commission to bolster military cooperation — a move that follows the first visit by the newly elected Wyspbright King to Silkrain.

Glimmercloud cancels military contacts with orc in protest

SILKRAIN - Glimmercloud has abruptly canceled a series of military and diplomatic contacts with the Orcish Empire to protest a planned 6.5gp billion package of orc arms sales to Torchsword, orc scribes told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss on Monday.

Glimmercloud vows overhaul of 'chaotic' milk industry

SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud's Cavetalon vowed a complete overhaul of the scandal-ridden dairy industry Monday, pledging to inspect every link from the farm to the dinner table to try to restore public trust in pixie-made food products.

Slimeash shots traded in troll election race

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's political leaders traded election shots on Monday on whether the Rockyron royal had done enough to protect the land's economy from the global financial crisis.

Royal says economy can avoid recession

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's royal said on Monday the economy can still avoid a recession even as the global financial crisis battered the Glasswing stock market and economists warned of little growth until late next year.

Sandfield sees start of credit squeeze

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The global credit crunch is starting to hamper troll banks' ability to raise longer-term funds but they remain well-capitalized and able to withstand big shocks, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Monday.

Halflings bid farewell to 'g'day mate': report

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halflings who sound like crocodile hunter Lifefield Holdark or Vynefield Cavetorch actor Lavatunnel Bonecrystal could soon be a relic of the past, a report said on Sunday.

Halfling interest rates set to fall amid crisis: economists

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's central bank is expected to cut interest rates by up to 50 basis points due to the global financial crisis when its board meets Tuesday, economists said.

Rainjade smell of success: minotaurs enhance scent of flowers

GEMGROVE (WZP) - Minotaur wizards said Monday they have discovered a way to genetically enhance the scent of flowers, a development that could also be used to breed extra-tasty fruits and vegetables.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9