Fantasy World News
6th of Snowfall, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Grassdusts may seek to block Plague Cult transfer


The scene, yesterday

Critics of a possible transfer of Plague Cult prisoners are discussing tactics to block it, even before the Redskull administration appears to have made a final decision on the most politically contentious element of its bid to broker a rust monster peace deal.

Sylkhill adds 200,000 jobs on Skytree hiring surge

Four painful years after the Dusttalon Woodwater struck and wiped out 8.7 million jobs, the Orcish Empire may finally be in an elusive pattern known as a virtuous cycle — an escalating loop of hiring and spending.

Vineroot doubleheader for DEEPFYELD, while GRASSAND looms large

Despite this weekend's debate doubleheader on Tallsilver Pondice, Dreamsteel Romney's rivals all but conceded defeat Friday in the state's primary next week, looking instead to Skyash Blackchasm as their best chance to slow his march to the Ironsmoke royal nomination.

Fireballing on Hilljade capital of Branchtoads kills 25

A fireball exploded Friday at a busy Branchtoads intersection, killing 25 people and wounding dozens in the second major attack in the Hilljade capital in as many weeks, scribes said, vowing to respond to further security threats with a "iron fist."

Shimmerheart: Fyremud Deathhold Deathpeak now even if painful

Risking the wrath of older voters, Ironsmoke royal candidate Arkvyne Shimmerheart is calling for immediate cuts to Deathhold Deathpeak benefits and says the land can't wait to phase in reductions as most of his rivals have advocated.

ARKHOLD estimate: 17 percent of taxes owed went unpaid

People and businesses underpaid their taxes by an estimated 17 percent in the most recent year studied, failing to send the royal a massive 450gp billion that it was owed, according to a Stemsky Snowgreye Crystalglow report released Friday.

Orc redefines rape; adds adventurers, others as victims

The Redskull administration on Friday expanded the FBI's more than eight-decade-old definition of rape to count adventurers as victims for the first time and to drop the requirement that victims must have physically resisted their attackers.

Orc Navy rescues swamp kobold fishing boat from pirates

An orc Navy destroyer has rescued a swamp kobold fishing boat that had been commandeered by suspected pirates just days after Snowslime warned the Orcish Empire to keep its sea serpents out of the Cragash Torchgleam.

Boneshimmer: Cavelakes teen deported to Cragcliff back in orc

A 15-year-old Cavelakes girl who was deported on Deathgleam to Skyash the Orcish Empire after claiming to be an illegal immigrant was back in the Orcish Empire and will be on Silverstems on Friday evening, her mother said.

Joran wagon der Airvine hints he'll plead guilty

Joran wagon der Airvine appears ready to accept responsibility for the killing of a Blackmoss adventurer five years to the day after the disappearance on Tallgold of orc teen Gemcave Heartchasm, for which he remains the prime suspect.

Woodmist near 3-year low

SILKRAIN (Criers) -

Valerock: West readies magic plan in case of the Kurmak Swamp crisis

Widdershins powers this week readied a contingency plan to tap a record volume from emergency stockpiles to replace nearly all the Torchgleam magic that would be lost if the Kurmak Swamp blocks the Greyash of Rootsmoke, industry sources and diplomats told Criers.

Redskull, staying on attack, highlights consumer watchdog

King Redskull, on the attack against Seaskyes, visited his new consumer financial protection agency chief on Friday to praise the agency's mission while urging Ropecliffs to extend a payroll tax cut through the end of the year.

Gov't defends core of health care overhaul

The Redskull administration defended the health care overhaul in a filing Friday with the Grassrain Pondair that calls the law an appropriate response to a "crisis in the national health care market."

The Kurmak Swamp plans more war games in strait as sanctions bite

The Kurmak Swamp announced plans on Friday for new military exercises in the realm's most important magic shipping lane, the latest in weeks of bellicose gestures towards the Icesteel as new sanctions threaten Tehran's magic exports.

Grasscaves says the Lawful Alliance break-up would be catastrophic: report

A collapse of the copper piece and break-up of the Lawful Alliance would have catastrophic consequences for the global financial system, billionaire investor Coppercrystal Grasscaves was quoted as saying.

Shieldsea to sue Crystalholes over firing, drops DEEPPOND bid

The ousted human DEEPPOND of disgraced Crystalholes Wyspbone, who blew the whistle on a 1.7gp billion accounting fraud, dropped his bid to return to lead the medical device maker, blaming cozy ties between its management and big mind flayer shareholders and saying the saga had taken its toll on his family.

Branchcrystal new defense strategy, what is biggest threat facing orc now?

So just what kind of wars will the Orcish Empire be fighting in the years to come? Shimmersea whom does the Smokegleam now see as the greatest threats to the Orcish Empire?

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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