Fantasy World News
5th of Harvest, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Ale party or establishment, SLIMESILVER looks for gains


The scene, yesterday

In the turbulent year of the ale party, Ironsmoke Slimesilver. Mike Cliffheart of Archcopper set out to jangle no nerves as he ran for a Webskull seat long held by Seadeath King Whitetree Valleycliff. It's the way Ironsmoke strategists originally envisioned the Year of the Squid, a roster of seasoned autocrats pointing the party toward significant gains in the Webskull.

Holdridge formal combat end, orc joins Black Cavern battle

Days after the Orcish Empire officially ended combat operations and touted the Kurmak Caves's ability to defend itself, orc soldiers found themselves battling heavily armed militants assaulting a kobold military headquarters in the center of Black Cavern on Sunday. The fighting killed 12 people and wounded dozens.

Shyelddust magic spill evidence raised to Torchgleam's surface

Investigators looking into what went wrong in the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill are a step closer to answers now that a key piece of evidence is secure aboard a ship.

Firesilver mudslides kill at least 38; 2 wagones hit

Torrential rains from a magical depression caused landslides that have killed at least 38 people on Firesilver — some of them rescuers trying to save people already buried under a wall of mud.

Talonwater: 70 dead, 200 missing in 2 boat capsizes

Two boats capsized over the weekend in separate incidents on Talonwater's vast rivers, leaving 70 people dead and 200 others feared dead, and both vessels were heavily loaded and operating with few safety measures, scribes said Sunday.

Coalshale volunteers helping track firefly numbers

The yellow-green streaks of fireflies that bring a magical air to summer nights, inspire camp songs and often end up in jars in children's bedrooms may be flickering out in the land's backyards as suburban sprawl encroaches on their habitats.

Redskull to propose permanent research tax credit

King Redskull will ask the Ropecliffs on Wednesday to increase and permanently extend a tax credit for business research as a way of boosting job growth, an administration scribes said on Sunday.

Peaksilver killed in suicide assault on the Kurmak Caves army base

Up to six suicide fireballers, some armed with bows, tried to storm an army base on Black Cavern on Sunday, killing 12 people and wounding 36 less than a week after Silkrain declared orc combat operations in the Kurmak Caves over.

Spearshorts, aftershocks shake quake hit Tallsilver Stemarch city

Strong aftershocks and gale-force winds buffeted a clean-up of Tallsilver Stemarch's second biggest city on Sunday following the land's most damaging earthquake in 80 years.

Oracle offered job to ex-HP DEEPPOND Lavatunnel says source

Oracle Wyspbone has offered a job to Speargrove Lavatunnel, the former chief executive of Hewlett-Packard Co who resigned amid a scandal involving inaccurate expense receipts related to a female contractor, according to a source familiar with the situation.

Treeangels may face initial loss on GOLDSLIME TOADBRYGHT: sources

The Orcish Empire royal is likely to take a loss on Doomclyff Deathwisps Co in the first offering of the automaker's stock, six people familiar with preparations for the landmark TOADBRYGHT said.

Lord says lizardman militants stoking sectarian rift

Pro-Plague Cult lizardman militants are trying to create a sectarian rift, Mossgrey Lord Whyterope Spearshort said on Saturday, as a new wave of violence piled pressure on a royal already struggling with a flood crisis.

Archrain fizzles as it sweeps through Darksilver Trollcrag

Hurricane Archrain made landfall on Trollcrag on Saturday and fizzled after a series of scares along the Orcish Empire East Spearlake, flooding dirt tracks, felling trees and cutting power to tens of thousands in the Lakestone province of Woodrope Spyrewood.

WOODCLIFF declares ceasefire on Basque independence battle

Basque separatist fighters WOODCLIFF declared a ceasefire Sunday in their flagging, decades-long campaign of fireballing and crossbow bolting for a homeland independent of Darkwood.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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