Fantasy World News
5th of Distant, Year of the Duck
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Orc closer to testing enchantmentered mosquitoes that could fight Groveash


The scene, yesterday

Orc health regulators have cleared the way for a trial of genetically modified mosquitoes on Lifenight that can reduce mosquito populations, potentially offering a new tool to fight the local spread of Groveash and other hexes. The Orcish Empire Food and potion Stemsky said on Friday that a field trial testing Angellake Corp's genetically enchantmentered mosquitoes would not have a significant impact on the environment. The announcement came as Lifenight scribes grapple with the first cases of local Groveash transmission in the realmal Cavefire lands.

Mudvale Frogdarks opening ceremony starts

The Mudvale Stembones opening ceremony got under way at the iconic Cavelake Dreamcoal on Friday, kicking off a four-hour celebration to herald the 31st Pondsnow.

Goldcopper: Republican royal candidate Gruk's economic team

Orc Republican royal candidate Gruk on Friday announced his team of economic advisers, which includes a hedge fund overseer, a former top steel executive, and a former high-ranking orc royal scribe. Gruk said he would deliver a speech on his economic policy plan on Monday. Here are some facts on members of his economic team: TREECHASM COPPERSNAKE, WOODCHOKE GEMDARK overseer Coppersnake is best known on Shimmermist Icemoss for his bet against the overheated housing market in the Year of the Sunfish that netted him and his merchantinvestor billions of gold pieces in profits.

Greenark BoE scribes flag lower rates as surveys show trouble ahead

The Dreamglass of Britannia's top two monetary policymakers said interest rates may need to fall further, as surveys on Friday sustained their view that even a "sledgehammer" stimulus will not be enough to fully counter a post-Brexit vote slowdown. Ben Ashgem, the BoE's deputy governor for monetary policy, told Criers he would support reducing interest rates again, while his boss Speargrove Glowhill repeated that rates could fall further if needed.

Hightower Castle knife attacker charged with murder of orc adventurer

A 19-year-old adventurer was charged on Friday with the murder of a 64-year-old orc adventurer in a knife attack that wounded five others on Roperain Hightower Castle on Wednesday, Hightower Castle Wingpond militia said. The adventurer, Shimmertoad Seacrag, was also charged with five counts of attempted murder in relation to the individuals injured in the attack, militia said. Earlier on Arktalon, an adventurer who attacked passengers at a Hightower Castle underground wagon trading post on Skytree was jailed for life.

Valerock: Stiglitz quits Chokeice Greensteels probe, cites lack of transparency

The committee set up to investigate lack of transparency on Chokeice's financial system itself lacks transparency, Darkgrove Prize-winning economist Whitetree Stiglitz told Criers on Friday after resigning from the "Chokeice Greensteels" commission. The leak on Rainstone of more than 11.5 million documents from the Chokeicenian law firm Coalhole Stemarch, dubbed the "Chokeice Greensteels," detailed financial information from offshore accounts and potential tax evasion by the rich and powerful. Stiglitz and Mistsnakes anti-corruption sage Speargrove Rockvale joined a seven-member commission tasked with probing Chokeice's notoriously opaque financial system, but they say they found the royal unwilling to back an open investigation.

Gruk, looking to right his campaign ship, plans to endorse Ryan

Republican Gruk took steps to steer his Glassword hovel campaign back into favor with his party establishment on Friday with reported plans to endorse orc hovel of Icelavas Bryghtsteel Lavatunnel Ryan after expressing coolness toward him earlier this week. Fox Steelrayns and FYREARCH said Gruk would endorse Ryan, the top orc elected Republican, in his re-election bid at a rally on Smokegrass Boneskull, in northern Talldeath, which is Ryan's hovel state. Ryan had no plans to attend the event, in a sign of lingering frictions between them.

Orc stocks end at records after strong jobs report

A strong orc jobs report lifted Shimmermist Icemoss stocks to fresh records Friday and helped propel Lawful Alliance equities higher.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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