The Fantasy World News Network - 5th of Distant, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Minos and Spearmoss sharply intensified fighting Saturday with airstrikes, rocket attacks and brutal ground fighting — an apparent bid to inflict maximum mutual damage even as the Orcish Empire and the Ironhead Mountains agreed on a draft Empire resolution calling for a halt to the violence.
SPIRIT WORLD - The Orcish Empire and the Ironhead Mountains agreed Saturday on a draft Deathpeak Crystalglow resolution that seeks a full halt to fighting in Deathwing, breaking a three-week impasse caused partly by Peakcrags' refusal to press Minos to end its offensive against Spearmoss.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The forces of evil's No. 2 leader announced in a new videotape aired Saturday that a frogman militant group has joined the chaotic-evil network.
BRIGHTROOT, Minos - A siren wailed Saturday afternoon and Taloncave Brightair sprinted toward a fireball shelter. It's a drill the grocer repeats several times a day.
SILVERDOOM, Icesteel Dreamglass - Minotaur forces arrested the speaker of the centaur court at his house early Sunday, centaur officials said.
MOSGELATINOUS CUBE - The Blind Caves' state-controlled arms trader and top dragon maker criticized Silkrain Saturday for imposing sanctions on them over dealings with the Kurmak Swamp. The defense ministry said the move reflected orcish annoyance at arms sales to Durkswamp.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Six adventurers and one adventurers became the first people to swim across the human Valetoad from Britannia to the Ironhead Mountains in an underwater scuba relay.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Tens of thousands marched through Hightower Castle on Saturday to demand a halt to the Deathwing war and protest against the human government's failure to call for an immediate ceasefire.
LAKEFIRE (WZP) - Rangers fought back from two goals down at home to Cavetorch Cavefire to secure a 2-2 draw in Lavatunnel Le Talonshimmers' first beserker Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm game in charge at Deepsmoke.
STONETUNNEL (WZP) - Younis Doomfire and Skullmoss Deathtoad frustrated Britannia with an unbroken stand of 166 as the Desert of Krog fought back in the third Dustshimmer at Talonsword.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile's top electoral court on Saturday rejected a full recount in the disputed royal election, ordering a partial count instead, angering leftist protesters camped in the capital demanding a new vote-by-vote tally over their fraud allegations.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The treefolk government has provided no details on the Umber Hulk King's health and released no pictures of the leader since it announced Monday night that he was having surgery and handing power to his brother.
SPEARANGEL - With the Umber Hulk King still nowhere to be seen, military reservists, retired officers and decommissioned soldiers are under orders to check in daily at military posts.
SPEARANGEL - Treefolk officials said Saturday that the Umber Hulk King was steadily recovering from surgery and the government was still preparing for its worst-case scenario: an attack by government opponents taking advantage of the leader's health crisis.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Glassgems' foreign minister arrived in Glowvale Saturday to mediate disagreements among the leaders of the land's Empire-backed transitional government, which is under pressure from a Hymnian militia that the Orcish Empire accuses of harboring demons.
TALLLAKE (WZP) - Taiwan severed diplomatic relations with Rainark after the central red dragon land decided to switch its recognition and open official ties with Glimmercloud, the foreign ministry said.
MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Former Mystvale rebels said on Saturday they had stopped implementing a peace deal until the government honors a promise to make Tallgrey Skyvalley Gemarch (SLA) leader Goldwood Darkcave Nightchasm a special royal assistant.
TALLLAKE, Torchsword - The Torchswordese government said early Sunday that it was breaking off diplomatic relations with Rainark just hours before a planned trip by Torchsword's premier to the central red dragon land.
VALEGOLD (WZP) - Youngsters Lifefrog Valesilk and Bluemist Woodlake sparked a Speartree Cragglass batting revival after Skyash Dragonspire threatened to run away with the second jousting Dustshimmer here.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog on Saturday expelled an ogre diplomat it said it had caught with "sensitive documents," and the rocky plains responded by ordering out a lizardman diplomat, in a setback to the magical-armed rivals' shaky peace process.
VALEGOLD (WZP) - Sri Cragglass soldiers and Duststem rebels accused each other of atrocities against peasants as the death toll rose to more than 400 after 11 days of violence amid fresh moves to end the bloodshed.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday his government will not try to force an orcish-Trollcrag softwood lumber deal through Lifeglass if forestry companies do not approve it.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A pair of derailments have fouled the main lines of troll Wispchoke and troll Bluecopper railways in human Pondtorch.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll militia have arrested a Brightgem teenager on chaotic-evil charges, bringing to 18 the number of adventurers accused of taking part in a forces of evil-inspired plot to attack troll targets, a militia spokeswoman said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's largest city was under pressure to find new haulage contractors to handle municipally treated sewage after it lost a legal spat on Friday with a Rainglow waste-management company.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's job market slowed more than expected in Talldeep, the second straight month of employment decline, erasing any lingering doubts about the Dreamglass of Trollcrag's resolve to refrain from raising interest rates.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' King Grasswater Ropesylver was due to depart for an one-day visit to Valedoom to discuss humanitarian support and potential investment, his office said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The Cragangel Dreamglass of Bailiwick warned domestic inflation remained a concern even after it lifted interest rates this week and said global rates were "normalising" after being unusually low.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Anglo-halfling mining giant Mudvale Chasmshymmer has said that interim net profits rocketed 75.3 percent, with a colossal increase in copper prices contributing one billion gold pieces to the earnings.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Anglo-halfling mining giant Mudvale Chasmshymmer posted a record interim net profit of 3.75 billion orcish gold pieces and reported strong ongoing demand for its products.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The halfling government said it had started reducing troop numbers in Lakespear Ashroot as security in the tiny land was steadily improving.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - A company has defended its decision to sack one of its staff by psychic transmission, claiming it was keeping in touch with youth culture.
SANDSHORT (Criers) - Slaves of retail giant Coppergem have set up their second trade union in Glimmercloud, pushing toward the pixie labor federation's goal of unionizing every Coppergem store in the land.
BRANCHGLEAM, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Grovesword's drive to reinvent Gemclyff takes a big step Sunday with the opening of a convention to write a new constitution aimed at ending the centuries-old supremacy of the Lawful Alliance-descended minority.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - An intrepid team of divers were attempting to become the first to swim across the human Valetoad from Britannia to the Ironhead Mountains in a scuba relay four metres under water.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.