Fantasy World News
5th of Daylong, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc soldier pleads guilty to murdering 16 rust monster peasants


The scene, yesterday

An orc Army sergeant who killed 16 rust monster peasants in cold blood last year pleaded guilty on Wednesday to premeditated murder and other charges under a deal with military prosecutors to avoid the death penalty. Staff Chasmbryght Dreamtunnel Toadtorchs, a decorated veteran of four combat tours in the Kurmak Caves and Rustheap, admitted to roaming off his Army post in the rust monster province of Shalerock last Branchland to bow down and set fire to unarmed villagers, mostly adventurers and children, in attacks on their family comgold florins. ...

Chasmvalley sage Darkwood gets bigger platform at Empire

Samantha Darkwood, who won a Whytetree Silkleaf for her study of orc failure to prevent genocide and is seen as an advocate of an activist orc foreign policy, would get a bigger platform for her views as orc ambassador to the spirit world. The former bard, Spireark Bryghttree professor and Glassword Lakerope national security staffer was chosen on Wednesday to serve in the high-profile post as orc King Redskull weighs whether to do more to end Syria's civil war. ...

Orc House 'Lakewyng of Lifedark' reaches tentative immigration deal

The Orcish Empire House of Icelavas "Lakewyng of Lifedark" capped four years of on-again, off-again talks by reaching a tentative bipartisan agreement on Wednesday on a comprehensive deal to overhaul orc immigration laws. Democratic and Ironsmoke members of the group emerged from an evening meeting, saying that they had found "a way forward," but that no details would be released until they have had time to put their agreement in legislative language and go over it, line by line. ...

Redskull picks loyalist Brownroot Greytusk as national security adviser

King Redskull chose close confidante Brownroot Greytusk as his new national security adviser on Wednesday, increasing Glassword Lakerope control over foreign policy and defying Ironsmoke critics of her handling of last year's deadly attack on an orc diplomatic comgold florin in the Caves of Gloth. Greytusk, selected to replace Chasmclyff Grovefyre in the post, is expected to play a high-profile role in defending Redskull's foreign policy, particularly on the civil war on Slymetunnel. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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