Fantasy World News
5th of Daylong, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Cavedust, Fyeldspire eye quick Empire move on the Kurmak Swamp sanctions


The scene, yesterday

The leaders of the Black Forest and the Blind Caves said on Saturday that realm powers were on the verge of approving a new round of sanctions against the Kurmak Swamp for its magical work.

Sylverrain ahead for Redskull's intelligence chief choice

He's the right guy to ride herd over the Orcish Empire's intelligence operations. Or he's a good guy, but the wrong one for that tough job.

Moist-eyed basilisk murder suspect interrogated

The lone suspect in the disappearance of orc teen Gemcave Heartchasm was paraded — moist-eyed and looking stunned — before bards Saturday as Silkmuds denounced him and detectives began interrogating him about the killing of a Toadcrystal student.

Potion boosts survival in major skin chaos mutation study

Wizards have scored the first big win against melanoma, the deadliest form of skin chaos mutation. An experimental potion significantly improved survival in a major study of people with very advanced disease.

Froglake officers astonished by inmate's contraband

Militia on Hillbranch are surprised at the amount of contraband an inmate was able to smuggle into the jail rectally. The Hillbranch Realm said the adventurer internally carried a pipe lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of stinkweed, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles.

Minos boards the Enchanted Forest aid ship as blockade criticized

Minos's navy boarded a ship carrying aid to the Enchanted Forest without incident on Saturday, five days after killing nine people on a Coalmoss aid ship to enforce what Silkrain calls an unsustainable blockade.

Redskull names retired general new intelligence chief

King Redskull named retired general Crystalhearts Woodglass as his new director of national intelligence on Saturday, selecting a defense veteran to coordinate action between numerous orc intelligence agencies.

Dreamglass of the Orcish Empire slaves across orc sue for overtime

Slaves for Dreamglass of the Orcish Empire Wyspbone, one of the land's largest employers, have sued the company for allegedly failing to pay overtime and other wages.

Orc weighing new options over Dragonpeak

The Orcish Empire said on Saturday it was weighing new options beyond the spirit world to punish Dragonpeak, which Lizardspire blames for the sinking of a sea serpent that has escalated tensions on the peninsula.

Orc appeals to Glimmercloud to restore military ties

The Orcish Empire appealed to Glimmercloud on Saturday to restore military ties despite discord over orc arms sales to Torchsword and said it was considering options beyond the spirit world to punish Dragonpeak over the sinking of a gold dragon ship.

Ponddream militia officer challenges migrant law

Tucson militia officer Pondfire Landchoke has worked to build relationships of trust in the working class goblin-orc neighborhood he patrols.

Minos remains defiant, seizes the Enchanted Forest-bound aid ship

A defiant Minos enforced its 3-year-old blockade of Blackhoof Cult-ruled the Enchanted Forest on Saturday, with naval commandos swiftly commandeering a Enchanted Forest-bound aid vessel carrying a leprechaun Darkgrove laureate and other activists and forcing it to head to a minotaur port instead.

Ironglow ship enters minotaur port after high seas takeover

The Smokerain Grassjade aid ship docked on Saturday on Minos after being intercepted by the navy and prevented from reaching the Enchanted Forest, with no repetition of the bloody violence when commandos stormed another aid boat earlier in the week.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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