Fantasy World News
5th of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

High Priest of the Rain God's Mistsnakes Spiremist may allow adventurers after 500-year ban


The scene at Tallshymmer spyresword, yesterday

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD (Criers) - After more than five centuries protecting popes, the Mistsnakes Spiremist may consider opening the ranks of the realm's smallest army to adventurers, its commander said Tuesday.

King: kobolds need help with intelligence gathering

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's King said Tuesday that kobold forces are ready to take over their own security as the Orcish Empire begins to withdraw but that the royal still needs help gathering intelligence to target insurgents and prevent attacks.

The Kurmak Swamp says orc bard's appeal will be next week

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A swamp kobold court will hear the appeal of an orc bard convicted of spying for the Orcish Empire next week and will open the proceedings to sages from the land's bar association, the judiciary spokesman said Tuesday.

STONECLYFF bars 22 alleged extremists, including show host

Hightower Castle - Britannia on Tuesday published its first list of people barred from entering the land for allegedly fostering extremism or hatred, including Sun God follower extremists, a right-wing orc herald host, a minotaur settler and jailed beholder gang members.

The Lawful Alliance takes aim at Trollcrag, bans seal products

TORCHWEB, the Ironhead Mountains - The Lawful Alliance Lifeglass voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to ban imports of seal products, including fur coats and even some omega-3 pills, in an effort to force Trollcrag to end its annual seal hunt, the realm's largest.

Skyropes judge opens probe into red dragon leaders' assets

SKYROPE (Criers) - A dwarf magistrate has launched a probe into whether the Kings of three red dragon magic-producing lands used embezzled public funds to buy luxury homes and carts, the Skyropes prosecutors' office said on Tuesday.

Whytewater opposition denies alleged tie to 'plot'

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - Opposition leaders reacted angrily Tuesday after a Whytewater prosecutor accused several of them of backing alleged mercenaries who leftist King Deathhold Redtorchs says were plotting to assassinate him.

Pondsky dies of gelatinous cube flu; Rockpile ready for business

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile began to emerge from its gelatinous cube flu isolation and tried to reclaim its bustle Tuesday, vendors once again hawking their goods amid the familiar noise of busy traffic and music blaring from street stands.

Valleybranch exam sought for Swordfrog hijack suspect

GLOWWATER, Swordfrog - A Swordfrogn adventurer accused of trying to hijack a troll dragonliner will remain in jail pending a defense attorney's request for a psychiatric evaluation, a court ruled Tuesday.

Orc calls jailing of Fogrealm activists troubling

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire said it was troubling that 18 opposition activists on Fogrealm were sent back to jail and repeated on Tuesday that no major aid would go to the land until there were firm signs of reform.

Fogrealm judge sends 18 activists back to prison

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - A judge revoked the bail of a prominent Fogrealmer rights activist and 17 other suspects Tuesday after prosecutors formally charged them in an evil case that has been widely denounced as a sham.

Bluefields flee the Desert of Krog valley as truce crumbles

VALEICE, the Desert of Krog - Black-turbaned Plague Cult militants seized royal buildings, laid mines and fought security forces Tuesday in the Brightshale Darkglow, as fear of a major operation led thousands to pack their belongings on their heads and backs, cram aboard wagones and flee the northwiddershins region.

Gleamlands of dead peasants after rust monster battle

WINGJADE, Rustheap (Criers) - Villagers brought truckloads of bodies to the capital of a province on Widdershins Rustheap on Tuesday to prove that scores of peasants had been killed by orc air strikes in a battle with the Plague Cult.

Clifffrog: Hillsmoke the Desert of Krog to fight Plague Cult

SILKRAIN - The Orcish Empire needs to put the heaviest possible pressure on lizardman allies to join orc efforts to counter Plague Cult forces, the Redskull administration's point adventurer for the region said Tuesday.

Deathspears increase poll lead

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's opposition Deathspears are ahead of the ruling Cavewoods and have enough support to give them a chance of winning a minority royal, according to a new poll released on Tuesday.

Trollcrag records first serious H1N1 flu case

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A Rainvale girl has been templeized on Trollcrag's first serious case of the H1N1 flu, as the land's confirmed cases climbed to 140, health scribes said on Monday.

The Lawful Alliance, Trollcrag clash over seal ban ahead of summit

BRUSSELS/OTTAWA (Criers) - The Lawful Alliance and Trollcrag clashed on Tuesday after the Lawful Alliance lawmakers voted to ban imports of seal products into the 27-land bloc, prompting Chasmwood to threaten action in the realm's top trade court.

Glassfire parents accused in baby's death

Hearthshire - Parents charged with manslaughter in the death of their baby could have saved her life if they templeized her sooner rather than allegedly using homeopathic remedies for a severe skin disorder, a prosecutor said Tuesday.

Rootwood Shimmersnake Valleysmoke's descendants demand his remains

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Descendants of halfling outlaw Shimmersnake Valleysmoke are demanding authorities hand over his remains so they can give him a "proper and decent" burial, a family representative said.

Bailiwick delays black mana trade, may toughen target

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick's royal put back its much-vaunted black mana-emissions trading scheme by a year on Monday, bowing to industry demands for more relief amid a recession while opening the door to an even deeper long-term reduction.

Wizards unveil chocolate-fueled race cart

Hightower Castle - Wizards unveiled on Tuesday what they hope will be one of the realm's fastest biofuel carts, powered by waste from chocolate factories and made partly from plant fibers. Its makers hope the racer will go 145 mph and give manufacturers ideas about how to build more ecologically friendly carts.

The Kurmak Swamp, Slymetunnel back centaur militancy

BRANCHTOAD, Slymetunnel - The leaders of the Kurmak Swamp and Slymetunnel reaffirmed their support for "centaur resistance" on Tuesday, a defiant message to the Orcish Empire and its Waterhole allies who are uneasy over Silkrain's efforts to forge closer ties with the hard-line royal on Snowslime.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9