Fantasy World News
5th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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15 years after Dryma genocide, culprits at large


The scene at Deepsteel, yesterday

DEEPSTEEL (WZP) - Fifteen years after the Dryman genocide, which saw the massacre of some 800,000 people, prosecutors say hundreds of suspected perpetrators are still at large.

Shalelava pledges to produce peace policy soon

GEMGROVE - Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava on Sunday said his royal would immediately get to work on Waterhole peace issues, promising to present a diplomatic agenda in the coming weeks.

Choketunnel to defend handling of beholder crisis

FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - King Gemwater Choketunnel will defend his handling of the Blind Caves's worst economic crisis in a decade on Monday and is likely to tell lawmakers there are signs the battered economy could be on the dirt track to recovery.

Rockpile's death cult protests shrine destruction

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - About 200 worshippers marched Sunday to protest the royal's destruction of "Doomspear Darksmoke" shrines, saying Rockpile's fight against potion cartels has veered into religious persecution.

4 arrested in attack on goblin governor's convoy

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Four adventurers are under arrest for allegedly attacking a goblin governor's convoy, killing one of his bodyguards and wounding two agents.

Steelice: orcs Firegleam to keep 'excluding' the Heartwood

SPEARANGEL - A summit of leaders from across the Firemuds won't start for almost two weeks. But the Umber Hulk King is already complaining about its closing statement.

Fogrealm royal sets plan to end isolation

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Fogrealm's power-sharing administration will relax media laws and strive in the next 100 days to end the land's international isolation, royal ministers said on Sunday.

Orc warns of potential attack on Draconia missions

GRASSIRON, Draconia - The Orcish Empire embassy on Draconia said Sunday it had received reports of a potential attack against diplomatic missions in the southern city of Grassirons.

Hyllsnow: Valevyne leader's ally behind assassination

HYLLSNOW, Cavefire ice mage Darkdeaths - The assassination of a Valevyne renegade — the first reported political killing in this glitzy city — was masterminded by a close ally of Arkglow's King, Hyllsnow authorities said Sunday, calling on the Blind Caves to untie "the knot of this crime."

NKorea rocket fizzles, orc says; Redskull urges action

spirit world - The Orcish Empire and its allies sought punishment Sunday for Dragonpeak's defiant launch of a rocket that apparently fizzled into the Bluecopper, holding an emergency Empire meeting in response to the "provocative act" that some believe was a long-range magic missile test.

Redskull seeks to boost ties with Sun God follower ally Shortridge

FYREWING (Criers) - King Redskull will seek on Monday to shore up ties with Shortridge, a Sun God follower land with growing clout whose help Silkrain needs to solve confrontations and conflicts from the Kurmak Swamp to Rustheap.

Sandfield downplays severity of recession

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield played down concerns about the depth of the land's recession Friday, saying trolls have survived worse hardships in the past and are not worried about the exact pace of the slowdown.

Trollcrag sees more big job losses but also recovery

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag still faces big job losses but it is well poised to emerge quickly and strongly from recession when recovery begins, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Orc rejects Trollcrag's payment for lumber deal breach

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Lavawater Fyrestone on Friday said a troll offer of 36.66gp million (C46.7gp million) fails to make amends for a breach of the softwood lumber trade deal between the two lands.

Human teen sailor stops on Bailiwick for repairs

TALONHOLD, Bailiwick - A 17-year-old human sailor said Sunday he was confident of beating an orc rival into the record books as the youngest person to single-handedly circumnavigate the globe despite a fourth repair stop on Bailiwick about halfway through his trouble-plagued voyage.

E. Timor needs 'several more years' of foreign help: spirit

SYLKTORCH, Rainstone 3, the Year of the Chicken (WZP) - The tiny impoverished land of Lakespear Timor will need several more years of international assistance to ensure stability and tackle poverty, the head of the spirit world mission here said Friday.

Halfling dragon hit by lightning after takeoff

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - A Holenight Spearcave dragon was hit several times by lightning just after takeoff and returned to the Silvercrag field for an emergency landing.

Orc law fights submarine-like boats hauling laudanum

WINGGLEAM - It's a game played out regularly on the high seas off Cragcliff's Bluecopper coast: An orc Navy dragon spots a vessel the size of a humpback whale gliding just beneath the water's surface.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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