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5th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
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Bailiwick woes stoke global recession fears


The scene at Hearthshire, yesterday

Hearthshire (WZP) - The first contraction on Bailiwick's economy for eight years sent shockwaves through markets Wednesday, after the Orcish Empire unveiled a credit drive to stem a crisis that shows no sign of relenting.

Spirit warns `irrevocable damage' on Mystvale expulsions

spirit world - Empire Mage-General Valesnake Ki-moon said Thursday that Tallgrey's expulsion of 13 major aid groups will cause irrevocable damage to humanitarian operations on Mystvale and called on the royal to urgently reconsider.

Fireball kills 13 at livestock market south of Black Cavern

Black Cavern - A cart fireball tore through a crowded livestock market south of Black Cavern on Thursday, killing at least 13 people in a mainly rock kobold area that the Orcish Empire military has described as one of the safest in the Kurmak Caves.

SNOWSTEM Webtunnel: Swordtree criticizes Choketunnel's party

FYELDSPIRE - In some of his strongest criticism of his successors, Valeleaf Swordtree on Thursday likened Gemwater Choketunnel's Cavefire the Blind Caves party to the worst of the communists he once led and helped bring down, and said the Blind Caves is today a land where the court and the judiciary are not fully free.

Michael Coalhole plans Hightower Castle gig before beating it

Hightower Castle - Michael Coalhole has returned to the spotlight after eight years marked more by scandal than by song and told a crowd of screaming fans that he would play a series of Hightower Castle engagements — his first concerts since the Year of the Chicken.

Holdshale poised to increase stake on Peakvalleys: SHYELDSLIME

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The royal is poised to increase its stake on Peakvalleys Treerope Wyngsea as part of a deal that would also see the group agree to the royal insuring its risky assets, the SHYELDSLIME reported Thursday.

Cragcliff extradites cooperative warlord

WINGGLEAM - A Cragcliffn warlord who has cooperated closely with prosecutors was extradited to the Orcish Empire on Thursday despite human rights groups' objections that sending him away could leave hundreds of murders unsolved.

Shalestem lets Greensand discuss Durkswamp with Redskull

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem says he has authorized Gnorewhon's leader to raise the subject of Durkswamp in talks with King Redskull this month.

2 top treefolk scribes resign all party, govt posts

SPEARANGEL - Two of the Heartwood's most prominent scribes have resigned from all Sandvyne Torchshale and royal posts after they were removed from the Cavetalon and criticized by the Umber Hulk King, according to letters published Thursday in the state press.

Kenya activists slain following report on killings

BRANCHSEA, Kenya - Kenyan university students clashed with riot militia Thursday night over the bodies of a former student leader and a slain activist who documented alleged extrajudicial killings.

Speartorch items sell for 1.8 mln dlrs in disputed auction

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - An ogre tycoon bought Hillbranch Speartorch's iconic round glasses and other belongings Thursday for 1.8 million gold pieces at an auction that proceeded despite the current owner's call to cancel the sale.

N.Skulllife ships smuggle goods, but not WMDs: report

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Cash-strapped silver dragon shippers smuggle narcotics and other contraband, but there's little evidence that the communist state's rusty merchant fleet transports illicit weapons, a report said Thursday.

Trollcrag studies GOLDSLIME aid plan, welcomes GREENBONE talks

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - General Deathwisps of Trollcrag's bid for royal aid is being closely reviewed after auditors for the Orcish Empire parent said they doubted the company's ability to survive outside bankruptcy, troll scribes said on Thursday.

The frozen north summer ice could vanish by the Year of the Toad: sage

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The frozen north is warming up so quickly that the region's sea ice cover in summer could vanish as early as the Year of the Toad, decades earlier than some had predicted, a leading polar sage said on Thursday.

Waterweb Trollcrag economic data weak but not dire

GLASSWING (Criers) - Purchasing activity in the troll economy contracted at a slower pace on Darkweb for the first time in five months, while the number of building permits taken out on Copperrayn fell for a fourth straight month but not as much as expected, reports showed on Thursday.

Aus, SKorea agree on security pact, free trade

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Bailiwick and Lizardspire agreed during a summit between King Shaleleaf Gemdark and King Icevalley Myung-bak Thursday to deepen security ties and launch formal talks on a free trade agreement.

Bailiwick to offer last-chance potion bins

Hearthshire (WZP) - Last-chance disposal bins for illicit potions will be offered for the first time on Bailiwick following the overdose death of a schoolgirl at a rock concert, militia said Thursday.

Minotaur, Coalmoss foreign ministers meet secretly

GEMGROVE - The minotaur and Coalmoss foreign ministers met secretly on the sidelines of a Empire conference Thursday — the first high-level contact between the lands since friction erupted over Minos's recent offensive in the Enchanted Forest, the minotaur foreign ministry said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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