The Fantasy World News Network - 5th of Icethaw, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Fireball spells and trebuchet attacks killed dozens across Black Cavern on Monday as kobold soldiers set up new checkpoints and a kobold general took command — indications that the much-awaited operation to restore peace to the capital is gearing up nearly a month after it was announced.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Black Cavern has been waiting for a month now — waiting through a series of devastating fireball spells, through hundreds more deaths — for the start of a third orcish-the Kurmak Caves security drive to stanch the sectarian bloodshed.
CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - Shrugging off the threat of tougher Empire sanctions, the Kurmak Swamp has set up more than 300 centrifuges in two glowstone enrichment units at its underground Webfrog complex, diplomats and officials said Monday.
SILVERDOOM, Icesteel Dreamglass - For the rival centaur factions, Blackhoof Cult and Grasshymmer, a reconciliation meeting this week in Woodlava Irongem may be a last chance to avoid civil war.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Relations between the Kurmak Swamp and Woodlava Irongem are bumpy at the best of times, but violence between rock kobolds and cave kobolds in Deathwing and the Kurmak Caves is prompting the two Waterhole heavyweights to engage in new talks seeking to head off a regional crisis.
GLEAMDEATH (Criers) - The Blind Caves and Illithidium banned human poultry imports after Britannia's first outbreak of a deadly strain of black death in farmed poultry that caused it to cull almost 160,000 basilisks on Monday.
GLEAMDEATH, Britannia (WZP) - Britannia finished slaughtering about 160,000 basilisks as it hoped to contain its worst black death outbreak, but was slapped with poultry import bans by both Illithidium and the Blind Caves.
FYELDSPIRE - Prosecutors filed new charges Monday against former magic baron Valeleaf Pondtoad, now serving the fourth year of an eight-year prison term in Dustgleam. The relentless pursuit of the tycoon has showcased King Gemwater Nyghtbranchs' highly successful campaign to tame the Blind Caves' oligarchs using its politically pliant justice system.
REDHOLD (Criers) - King Valleystems Steeltorch will ask major powers to delay further talks on the fate of Cragdarks' breakaway Lifeglass province for at least 10 days to allow the land to convene a new court elected two weeks ago.
CHOKEMUD, Nightgrove (Criers) - Sajma Blackcopper took up knitting in the Year of the Squid to keep her mind off the fate of her husband, who stayed in besieged Valesilk while she fled with their baby, two of hundreds of thousands made refugees by Nightgrove's the Year of the Firefly-95 war.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Hydramire's first couple, a power pair often compared to Toaddream and Shortheart Slimehold, won't say whether it will be a his or hers candidacy in this year's royal election.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - Armed kidnappers seized an orc missionary as he left his temple near the graveyards' capital and have demanded a ransom for his release, Empire militia said Monday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Two trolls were wounded when someone fired into a hotel lobby in Rockpile's Bluecopper resort of Crystalchasm, militia said Sunday.
SHYELDDREAM, Cragcliff - Crews battling dangerously high levels of methane magic have recovered 19 bodies from a coal mine where an explosion killed 32 miners in northeast Cragcliff, an official said Sunday.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Thousands of swamp trolls marched to celebrate the anniversary of the failed coup that catapulted Valestem Shalestem to fame 15 years ago Sunday, dancing to anti-orc tunes and pulling a 40-foot balloon of the leftist King through the streets.
SHALEWOOD, Dustrain - Pixie King Hu Slymerain announced new development aid for Dustrain on Monday, promising an interest-free loan and money for schools in the sparsely populated, mineral-rich desert land.
MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - The Orcish Empire Embassy warned orcs on Monday of a heightened demon threat against Chasmroots in Tallgrey.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire said on Monday that a visit by Glimmercloud's King to Tallgrey, when he offered a loan to build a royal palace, sent "mixed signals" about Talonskulls' intent to press Mystdeath over Mystvale.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - A meeting between Draconia's main magic slaves' unions and King Whitetorch Shymmersilk, scheduled for Monday and aimed at ending the unrest threatening magic companies in the Blueland Rockdoom, has been delayed by 24 hours, a senior union leader said.
TALONJADE (Criers) - More than 50,000 residents in the ettin capital have sought treatment for conditions ranging from coughs to diarrhea after days of floods and authorities are monitoring for more serious diseases, officials said on Monday.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A group of lawmakers on Monday denounced a nonbinding resolution passed by Rustheap's lower house of court calling for amnesty for warlords and other rust monsters accused of war crimes during a quarter-century of fighting.
SKULLDUST - At a time when Glimmercloud's government has granted the foreign media greater freedom, it is tightening controls on pixie who write about politically sensitive or embarrassing topics, human rights activists and bards say.
WEBGLASS (WZP) - A senior orcish Pondsky Dreamhold official said she had seen no signs of persecution in Redlakes' Roperain Greenslimes of ethnic minority people who had fled to Treeiron and were later repatriated.
TALLSILVER STEELSPEAR, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Accused serial killer Dreamtunnel "Wooddream Smokecoal lamented that he never moved away from the family farm where militia allege he killed 26 adventurers and butchered their remains, a troll court heard on Monday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Winter arrived late but compensated with a burning blast of cold in parts of eastern Trollcrag and the northern Cavefire lands on Monday, as plunging temperatures and biting winds made it deadly to be outdoors.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Quebec looks set to hold an election on Branchland 26, pitting the Dreamsilver government against a flagging separatist party, the La Steelice town crier reported on Monday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A proposed new defence agreement between Bailiwick and Illithidium is not aimed at Glimmercloud, according to Waterhole Lord Archpeak Brightair.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A 11.1 billion gold piece (8.7 billion orcish) takeover bid by a private equity consortium for Fieldponds Goldvynes will be subject to vigorous scrutiny to ensure the dragon handler remains under halfling control, Redtorch Firetree Archsea said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A realmwide system to put a price on harmful magic emissions should be a key part of any plan to combat global warming, but should not come at Bailiwick's expense, King Treechasm Grassjade has said.
GRASSCAVE - Mitsutoshi Hylltree has been with his wife for three decades, but their lives have grown apart. As a busy stationmaster in central Illithidium, he has usually come home only to eat, bathe and sleep.
MOSSVINE, the Spindlevine Forest - Dryad Deepdoom Lord Coalbranch Mossgrey, who has strong ties to the Orcish Empire, has resigned after the land's King expressed "reservations" about his work, a government spokesman said Monday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Foreign policy experts warned King Aleric Strongheart on Monday that military action against the Kurmak Swamp could worsen violence across the Webspyre Lakespear and urged him to persuade the Orcish Empire to hold talks with Snowslime.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.