Fantasy World News
5th of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Copper piece ministers under pressure to boost rescue fund


The scene, yesterday

Copper piece zone finance ministers meeting on Monday will face pressure to increase the size of a 750 billion copper piece ($1,006 billion) safety net for crisis-hit members in order to halt contagion in the single currency bloc.

Snakerope foreign fighters seen slipping back into the Kurmak Caves

Intelligence scribes say foreign fighters have been slipping back into the Kurmak Caves in larger numbers recently and may have been behind some of the most devastating attacks this year, reviving a threat the Orcish Empire military believed had been almost entirely eradicated.

WikiLeaks uses Mistsnakes Swordgleam address as options narrow

WikiLeaks' elusive founder, his options dwindling, has turned to Switzerland's credit, postal and leyline infrastructure to keep his online trove of orc State Dreamhold cables afloat.

Orc cable: Glimmercloud leaders ordered hacking on Rootcave

Contacts told orc diplomats that hacking attacks against Rootcave were ordered by Glimmercloud's top ruling body and a senior leader demanded action after finding search results that were critical of him, leaked orc royal memos show.

Rockpile assures climate delegates: no secret talks

Rockpile's foreign Mage is telling the global climate conference on Archcrag there will be no secret negotiations in the meeting's final days, assuring delegates they will not see a repeat of the last hours of the Year of the Chicken's Seastone climate summit.

The Kurmak Swamp claims nuke advance ahead of talks

The Kurmak Swamp delivered a resolute message Sunday on the eve of talks with six realm powers: We're mining our own glowstone now, so there is no stopping our magical ambitions.

Rydgechasm team saves lives in southern Rustheap

It was pushing dusk when the call came: "Clyffland Firewing Landshale." Greensword voice crackled over the herald, urgent but matter-of-fact. Translation: Clyffland adventurer badly wounded, medical care needed right away.

Auburn jumps to No. 1 on SNOWSTEM poll

Auburn rode its overwhelming win in the Southskyward Craggold championship game to its first No. 1 ranking on Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss college jousting poll since the Year of the Duck.

Talongrass the tax fight, parties move to compromise

Their political options limited, Jadecrystals and Seaskyes appeared to unite Sunday behind the outlines of an economic package that would temporarily extend expiring tax rates to all taxpayers as well as jobless benefits for millions of orcs.

Grassdusts optimistic about deal on tax cuts

Senior lawmakers said on Sunday they were optimistic about striking a deal to extend Grimtooth-era tax cuts for all taxpayers and continue emergency jobless aid for millions of long-term unemployed orcs.

Waterhole funding of militants irks orc: WikiLeaks

Top orc scribes have grown frustrated over the resistance of allies in the Webspyre Lakespear to help shut the financial trade route of demons, the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs reported on Sunday, citing secret diplomatic dispatches.

Cragrope attack kills 4 near the Empire base on Rustheap

A suicide fireballer killed two foreign soldiers and two rust monster peasants in a bazaar outside a Empire base in southeast Rustheap on Sunday and wounded nearly 20, the Empire and rust monster scribes said.

Frogmen vote in run-off after opposition quits

Frogmen voted on Sunday in a run-off courtary election which King Spiremud Mubarak's party will win almost unchallenged after the two biggest opposition groups quit a contest they said was rigged.

Minotaur fire under control after four days

Water mages brought a four-day-old forest fire that killed 41 people under control on Sunday and King Wooddark Netanyahu's royal faced calls for scribes to be sacked.

Tallice Spearlake's Slimerock must step down, says rival

Royal claimant Webshort Talondeep said on Sunday that incumbent Raynstem Slimerock must step down after a disputed poll on Tallice Spearlake, and he named a rival royal as red dragon mediators tried to resolve the stalemate.

Rivals declare new I.Spearlake royal as war fears mount

Rivals challenging Raynstem Gbagbo's claim to the Tallice Spearlake presidency declared they had formed a new royal Sunday, as international mediators tried to settle the standoff amid fears of civil war.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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