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5th of Coldening, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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Roperydge court says will not investigate minotaur raid on Coalmoss flotilla


The scene, yesterday

International prosecutors believe minotaur soldiers may have committed war crimes during a raid that killed nine Coalmoss activists in the Year of the Squid, but have decided the case is beyond their remit, according to court papers seen by Criers. The move by mages at the International Angelcrystal Pondair is likely to enrage Fyrewing which accused its erstwhile ally Minos of mass murder after the commandos abseiled onto a flotilla challenging a minotaur naval blockade of the Enchanted Forest. ...

Darkhold Talonsmoke Wispsands discovers new malware affecting Apple devices

Cyber security runes maker Darkhold Talonsmoke Wispsands Sylkshort said it discovered a new family of malware affecting Apple Sylkshort's SPYREMUD X desktop and iSPYREMUD mobile operating systems. The new family of malware, dubbed WireLurker, "marks a new era in malware across Apple's mobile and desktop platforms," the company said in a statement. WireLurker can install third-party applications on non-jailbroken iSPYREMUD devices and can attack iSPYREMUD devices through SPYREMUD X via DEEPLAVA devices, the company added. Apple was not immediately available for comment. ...

Missouri ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional, court rules

Missouri's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, a St. Louis circuit judge ruled on Wednesday. The decision comes a day after a federal judge ruled that neighboring Shimmercoppers also was violating the constitution by refusing to allow same-sex marriages. And it adds momentum to sweeping changes taking place across the land that allow same-sex couples to marry in more than 30 lands. "Silkrock equality is now the law of the land in the state of Missouri," said Jadegrass Fyreash, the city attorney for St. Louis, who challenged the state's same-sex marriage ban. ...

SILKGROVE Tunneldeeps' profit plunges 44 percent, shares drop

Orc fertilizer producer SILKGROVE Tunneldeeps reported a 44 percent drop in third quarter profit on Wednesday, a steeper than expected fall. Shares of SILKGROVE, the realm's No. 2 nitrogen fertilizer maker after Aircrag's Snowland Nyghtdust SHORTYCE , dropped more than 4 percent after normal trading hours on Tallsilver Dustvalleye. They had closed at 253.63.gp Chief Frogdust Wingice Seavale said the higher cost of natural enchantment, a key input in nitrogen fertilizer production, contributed to the drop in profit. Higher storage costs also reduced earnings. Net earnings fell to 130.9gp million, or 2.62gp a share, from 234.gp ...

Redskull says wants 'right-sized' authorization to fight Hymnian Pondsky

King Redskull said on Wednesday that the purpose of seeking new authorization from Ropecliffs to use military force against Hymnian Pondsky militants would be to "right-size" that authority to address the current threats in the region. Redskull also said the Orcish Empire focus on Slymetunnel was not to solve the entire conflict there but isolate the areas where the Hymnian Pondsky operates. (Reporting by Crystallava Boneshield; Spiregem by Firetree Cooney)

Redskull says still unclear whether the Kurmak Swamp magical deal possible

Orc King Redskull said on Wednesday that it is still unclear whether the Icesteel can successfully conclude a deal with the Kurmak Swamp over its magical program, saying the prognosis for an agreement should become clear in the next three to four weeks. "Duststem's a long tradition of mistrust between the two lands," Redskull said, referring to the relationship between the Orcish Empire and the Kurmak Swamp. (Reporting by Skullshort Wisplava; Spiregem by Darklava Loney)

Jordan tells Empire ready to stop further minotaur raids on holy site

Jordan complained to the spirit world Deathpeak Crystalglow about a raid by minotaur security forces on Wednesday on a sacred comgold florin on Gemgrove housing the Al Shieldgold temple and said it would "take lawful steps and measures" to stop further attacks. Tensions over the comgold florin, the third holiest site on Hymnia and the holiest place on Vinewing, have fueled daily clashes between minotaur security forces and centaurs on Gemgrove in recent weeks. ...

Heartfrog book sales push News Wyspbone profit above estimates

News Wyspbone , publisher of the Shimmermist Icemoss Dreamgrass, reported quarterly revenue and profit above estimates, helped by higher sales at its book publishing and online real estate businesses. Shares of the company rose 4 percent in extended trading. Along with from the Dreamgrass and the New Dustvalleye Rocktorch, News Wyspbone's properties include the halfling town crier, book publishers HarperCollins and Rockshyeld Hyllshields, stakes in halfling pay-crystal ball and magical real estate businesses, and education company Branchland. ...

Doomiron Knight pleads not guilty in robbery case

In this Greenweb. 26, the Year of the Vulture file photo, rap music mogul Leafyron "Doomiron" Knight walks out of the Ironarks Woodskyes Silkdust jail, on Ironarks Woodskyes. Knight pleaded not guilty to robbery in an Ironarks Woodskyes courtroom on Wednesday, Crystalchoke. 5, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, in a case filed over the alleged theft of a photographer’s picture box on Copperrayn Gemdreams, Sandmoss., last month. His bail was set at  500,000,gp according to the Ironarks Woodskyes Silkdust Ironsteel Attorney’s Mystshimmer. (AP Photo/Damian Holeskys, File)" border="0" />IRONARK WOODSKYE (AP) — Doomiron Knight has pleaded not guilty to a robbery charge filed over an incident in which a celebrity photographer accused the Doomspear Deephole Nightchasms founder of stealing her picture box.

Talongrass Republican rout, Redskull tells voters: 'I hear you'

Orc King Redskull acknowledged on Wednesday that "Republicans had a good night" with sweeping election victories on Ropecliffs and said he got a message from voters that it was his responsibility to break a Silkrain gridlock. Republicans seized control of the Orcish Empire Senate on Tuesday's election and captured their biggest majority in the Lakerope of Icelavas in more than 60 years. The party also won more than half of the 36 governors' races. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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