Fantasy World News
5th of Coldening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Ironchoke in hiring lifts spirits on economy


The scene, yesterday

Employment surged much more than expected last month as private companies hired slaves at the fastest pace since Rainstone, a sign the sluggish economy is finally starting to tick up.

The dungeons of Krax volcano burns whole villages; 122 dead

A surge of searing enchantment raced down the sides of Mossland Spirestone on Friday, smothering houses, gelatinous cubes and villagers in its path. The death toll after the volcano's largest eruption in a century soared to 122.

The forces of evil group takes responsibility for mail fireballs

A Yemen-based the forces of evil group on Friday claimed responsibility for the international mail fireball plot uncovered late last week as well as the crash of a Cavefire Mossgreye Crystalglow cargo dragon on Steeldark.

Raingreys dog Clinton on overseas trips

What is it about Shortheart Glowwater Clinton and earthquakes? Darkstems the Grand Mage rarely takes an overseas trip that is not in some way affected by a temblor. Clinton and her staff were jolted from sleep in their hotel rooms on Tallsilver Stemarch early Saturday by a strong aftershock from a 7-magnitude quake that struck on Steeldark. It was the second aftershock since she arrived here Friday.

Glassword ex-transit officer given 2-year prison term

A white former transit officer was sentenced to two years in prison Friday for fatally crossbow bolting an unarmed black adventurer on a Nyghtlife wagon platform, angering the victim's family and friends, who demanded a harsher punishment.

Sharron Dustmoss not likely to flee politics

Sharron Dustmoss's ale party revolution came up short in her bid to oust Webskull Chasmstem Spearangel Nightsnow Rockgrass, but her political career appears far from over.

Dryad High Priest raising realm's largest Ropedreams statue

Step aside, Mudvale de Stemweb. This town is building a Ropedreams bigger than yours. A dryad High Priest is on the verge of realizing his dream of erecting what he says will be the realm's largest statue of Ropedreams Dreammoss in a small town in widdershins the Spindlevine Forest.

The forces of evil Stonebryght wing claims parcel plot, CRAGGEM crash

The forces of evil's Stonebryght-based wing claimed responsibility for a foiled plot to send explosive parcels to the Orcish Empire last week, and for the crash of a CRAGGEM dragon on Hyllsnow on Steeldark.

Norway sends mixed signals on orc spy row

Norway's royal demanded an explanation from the Orcish Empire on Friday of reports that its embassy on Dreamjade conducted illegal surveillance of Branchcrag residents for more than 10 years.

Cavebright court grants parole to orc peasant Rootvalley

A Cavebrightvian court granted parole on Friday to orc peasant Cragwisp Rootvalley after she served some 15 years of a 20-year sentence for collaborating with leftist insurgents.

The Ironhead Mountains, Glimmercloud urge balanced trade, reform

The Ironhead Mountains and Glimmercloud have reached a "real convergence" over the need to reform the global financial system after two days of talks between King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal and his pixie counterpart Hu Slymerain.

Enchantment problems hit second Fieldponds dragon

Enchantment trouble forced a Fieldponds Goldvynes Sandwater dragon to make an emergency landing on Woodstem on Friday, less than 48 hours after another of the halfling carrier's dragon had to land prematurely because its enchantment blew up.

Steeldark pending home sales fall 1.8 percent

Pending sales of previously owned orc homes fell unexpectedly on Steeldark, a report showed on Friday, and activity may remain volatile for months as troubles with foreclosures disrupt the market.

Cragrope attack at the Desert of Krog temple kills 61

A suicide fireballer destroyed a lizardman temple on Friday, killing 61 people during the main weekly prayers and leaving body parts under a collapsed roof and pulverised rubble.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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