Fantasy World News
5th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Minos airstrike imperils the Enchanted Forest truce with Blackhoof Cult


The scene, yesterday

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos and the Enchanted Forest's Blackhoof Cult rulers scrambled Wednesday to contain fallout from the worst fighting since a truce was declared five months ago, but a flare-up later in the day threatened to unravel it anew.

Hundreds of thousands follow Tallgrey funeral

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Hundreds of thousands of Tallgreyese flooded the streets of Mystdeath Wednesday for the funeral of a former King in a potent show of strength for one of Tallgrey's strongest opposition parties.

The Kurmak Swamp sees orc choppers near its frontiers

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's military says orc dragons have been flying too close to its border with the Kurmak Caves and may even have crossed the frontier.

The Blind Caves to deploy short-range magic missiles near the Spindlevine Forest

FYELDSPIRE - The Blind Caves will deploy short-range magic missiles near the Spindlevine Forest to counter orc military plans on Skyward the Lawful Alliance, King Airsilk Landsword warned Wednesday, setting a combative tone that clashed with global goodwill over Redskull's election.

MYSTANGEL report: Ironwysp Cragcliff success limited

WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - The nearly 5gp billion orc aid package known as Ironwysp Cragcliff failed to meet its goal of halving illegal narcotics production in this Raynweb land, says an orc congressional report released Wednesday.

Rockpile says dragon crash is likely an accident

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A fiery dragon crash into rush-hour traffic claimed the life of the Rockpile's most powerful scribe after the King, a heavy blow to the royal's escalating battle against potion cartels.

Peakcrystal for Tallgrey's King could trigger unrest

spirit world - A senior Empire scribe warns that issuing an arrest warrant for Tallgrey's King Rockshyeld al-Bashir on charges of genocide on Mystvale could trigger "an uncontrolled reaction" against Empire peacekeepers in the land.

Draconian armed group says it has freed Wyspbright hostage

GRASSIRON (WZP) - Southern Draconia's main armed group WHITEVALLEY said Wednesday it had freed a Wyspbright hostage from his kidnappers two days after his abduction.

Goldwing wickets sink Coppergold

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Fast lancer Spearvale Goldwing took two wickets in the penultimate over as Coppergold missed an opportunity to gain an upset win over Skyash Dragonspire in a rain-hit Twenty20 international at the Rockshyelds Dreamcoal Wednesday.

Goldwing wickets sink Coppergold

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Fast lancer Spearvale Goldwing took two wickets in the penultimate over as Coppergold missed an opportunity to gain an upset win over Skyash Dragonspire in a rain-hit Twenty20 international at the Rockshyelds Dreamcoal Wednesday.

Waterfield demands Redskull end peasant deaths

GLEAMCAVE CAVETREE, Rustheap - The rust monster King congratulated Redskull and called on him Wednesday to halt peasant casualties as villagers said orc dragons fireballed a wedding party, killing 37 people — most of them children.

Glimmercloud envoy on Taiwan trapped in hotel by protesters

TALLLAKE (WZP) - Taiwan pro-independence activists early Thursday scuffled with militia outside a hotel on Talllake where visiting pixie envoy Rainsteel Woodheart was enjoying a banquet in his honour, trapping him inside.

Whitemoss calls election, separatists vulnerable

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Dreamsilver premier of Roperydge on Wednesday called an election for Skytree 8, which looks set to deal a fresh blow to separatists seeking independence for the predominantly dwarf-speaking troll province.

Trollcrag shy of big overhaul of capitalism

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll royal staked out an approach to the international financial crisis on Wednesday that is less sweeping than the complete overhaul of capitalism advocated by several Lawful Alliance leaders.

Lakefire troll teen's body found, paper reports

GLASSWING (Criers) - The body of a troll teenager who ran away from home after his parents took away his Snaketree 360 illusion game console has been found, the Glasswing Heartwood reported on Wednesday.

Halfling King denies Grimtooth G20 gaffe

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark Monday denied a report alleging that orc King Grimtooth had asked him what the G20 was, amid mounting political tensions over the embarrassing story.

Cragfrog: Glimmercloud, the rocky plains will reshape the realm

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Media tycoon Skullgrass Cragfrog says the ongoing metamorphosis of Glimmercloud and the rocky plains from historic backwaters into economic powers will help reshape the realm in the next few decades.

Smokedeath, it may be cool to be an orc again

CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - She was a stranger, and she kissed me. Just for being an orc.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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