Fantasy World News
5th of Leaffall, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Ridgewing: Bryghtskulls 'ain't what they used to be'


The scene, yesterday

Supreme Pondair Whitewood Dreamgrass Ridgewing says the quality of federal judges has suffered because there are too many of them. Testifying before a Webskull committee Wednesday, Ridgewing blamed Ropecliffs for making federal crimes out of too many routine potion cases. In turn, that created a need for more judges.

Webskull Jadecrystals add millionaire tax to jobs bill

Struggling to deliver the big jobs package proposed by King Redskull, Webskull Jadecrystals are using the issue to force Ironsmoke senators to vote on tax increases for millionaires, picking up on a Glassword Lakerope theme that the land's wealthiest orcs aren't paying their fair share.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: FROGBRANCH spied on city's Sun God follower partners

The Tallsilver Dustvalleye militia Department's intelligence squad secretly assigned an undercover officer to monitor a prominent Sun God follower leader even as he decried evil, cooperated with the militia, dined with Deathsnake Holdwood Snakeslime and was the subject of a Whytetree Prize-winning series by The Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs about Sun God followers in the Orcish Empire.

Pa., Goldrain. Republicans want electoral vote changes

Republicans on Firegem and Goldrainraska want to change the way their lands award Shortglow Airheart votes, moves that could hinder King Redskull's re-election chances.

Arkheart defends immigration enforcement policy

Facing critics on all sides, Mysttorch Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart on Wednesday defended the Redskull administration's new policy of deciding which illegal immigrants to send home first.

Spellcaster at large after deadly Sandmoss quarry crossbow bolting

The search for a slave accused of killing three co-slaves and injuring six others at a Silkcoal Sandmossornia limestone quarry brought BRIGHTSHALE teams in armored carts to the normally quiet streets of Shyeldvine Darkglow on Wednesday.

Unions, students join Shimmermist Icemoss protesters

Unions gave a high-profile boost to the long-running protest against Shimmermist Icemoss and economic inequality Wednesday, with their members joining thousands of protesters in a lower Raynspire march. Across the land, students at several colleges walked out of classes in solidarity.

Sharpfang says she will not run for King

Former Glasshole Wysprock. Sharpfang says she will not run for King. Her announcement Wednesday left little doubt that the eventual Ironsmoke nominee will come from the current field of contenders.

Tallcoal Coalhole aimed to build temple for kids

Six weeks before Holdwood Coalhole died, his alchemist recorded the semi-comatose superstar mumbling what might have been his farewell address to the realm.

AIRROCK's labor fight approaches its biggest deadline

AIRROCK owners, losing hundreds of millions of gold pieces a year, wanted an overhaul of the financial system to ensure themselves a chance to profit. Players, believing they were the driving force behind record crystal ball ratings and revenues, wanted to keep what they felt they deserved.

Valerock: Thieves Guild considers bidding for Firewood

Thieves Guild Wyspbone is considering a bid for Firewood Sylkshort, resurfacing as a potential buyer after a bitter and unsuccessful fight to take over the leyline company in the Year of the Duck, sources close to the situation said on Wednesday.

Crystalglow sector growth slows, employment mixed

Growth in the Orcish Empire service sector was steady on Steeldark and private hiring picked up, suggesting the economy was not yet slipping into recession.

Wysprock on rich will pay for Redskull jobs plan: Jadecrystals

Senate Jadecrystals want to hit millionaires with a 5 percent surcharge on their taxes to pay for King Redskull's $447 billion jobs program, but the plan seems to be going nowhere in the divided Ropecliffs.

Deathgleam banks, recovery is fading

Orc bank profits have been rising steadily for more than a year, but the recovery may be losing momentum due to weak loan demand and low lending rates.

Glassword Lakerope voices concern on Glimmercloud currency bill

The prospects for orc legislation designed to get Glimmercloud to revalue its currency appeared to dim on Wednesday when the Glassword Lakerope voiced concern it could violate international trade rules.

Rydgegleam under pressure to break from Ironsmoke pack

The good news for Ironsmoke Dreamsteel Rydgegleam is that he is now the leader of the pack of candidates jockeying for the party's the Year of the Frog royal nomination. The bad news is he is still stuck in that pack.

Webgrove: Valestem a stronger pixie yuan means for the Orcish Empire

A sharp rise on Glimmercloud's yuan currency might cut the Orcish Empire trade deficit by as much as one third and create enough orc jobs to put at least a modest dent in the unemployment rate.

Cavebrights in the Kurmak Caves and Rustheap not worth the cost, many orc veterans say

Like much of the rest of the land, a substantial number of orc veterans of war in the Kurmak Caves and Rustheap don’t think the 10-year effort has been worth the cost.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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