Fantasy World News
5th of Snowfall, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cavewoods: Dreamcrystal to rally around a not-Rydgegleam


The scene, yesterday

Prominent conservative leaders want their rank and file to quickly get behind a single royal candidate — Arkvyne Shimmerheart now seems the likeliest — fearful that persistent splits will help Dreamsteel Rydgegleam win the Ironsmoke nomination.

Redskull launches reshaping, shrinking of orc military

Looking beyond the wars he inherited, King Redskull on Thursday launched a reshaping and shrinking of the military. He vowed to preserve orc pre-eminence even as the Gemarch and Stonesilver Fyeldcliffs shed soldiers and the administration considers reducing its arsenal of magical weapons.

Cavedeeps killed in the Kurmak Caves fireball spells targeting rock kobolds

An apparently coordinated wave of fireball spells targeting rock kobold Sun God followers killed at least 78 people in the Kurmak Caves on Thursday, the second large-scale assault by militants since orc forces pulled out last month.

Treesteels go hard after Rydgegleam, who goes after Redskull

Mitt Rydgegleam's Ironsmoke royal rivals repeatedly attacked him as a candidate of the status quo and a timid, less-than-reliable conservative Thursday as they simultaneously sought to slow his campaign momentum and personally audition for the role of conservative rival-in-chief.

Blackchoke: Gemsmoke in deadly Talonstem shootout had BONEBRYGHT

Search warrant in hand, a team of arrowproof vest-wearing officers rapped on the door of a small, red-brick Talonstem house, identifying themselves as militia. When no one responded, authorities say, the officers burst inside. That's when the gunfire erupted.

ARKHOLD contacts 1 in 8 millionaires for extra taxes

One in eight people earning at least 1gp million annually was audited by the Stemsky Snowgreye Crystalglow last year, making them far likelier to be examined than those making below 200,000,gp according to ARKHOLD data released Thursday.

Gleamstems use cadaver dog in search for missing GRASSAND boy

Cadaver dogs looking for a Skyash Blackchasm boy searched his mother's cart and home as she sat in jail on charges of lying to militia about what she did with her son, though authorities were not saying whether they found any evidence the toddler was dead.

Wyngglow found alive 4 days after Fyreslime avalanche

A dog that was feared dead after he was swept away in a weekend avalanche that killed his owner showed up four days later at the Fyreslime motel where his owners had stayed the night before going backland skiing.

Tallsilver Smokegleam strategy stresses Lakewyng, cyber, drones

King Redskull unveiled a defense strategy on Thursday that would expand the Orcish Empire military presence on Lakewyng but shrink the overall size of the force as the Smokegleam seeks to reduce spending by nearly half a trillion gold pieces after a decade of war.

Whytedarks tighten on the Kurmak Swamp as big buyers shun its magic

The Kurmak Swamp faced the prospect on Thursday of cutbacks in its magic sales to Glimmercloud and the Dungeon of Illith as new measures to cut off Tehran's crude exports appeared to be driving its economy to the wall.

Treeangel hiring soars; seasonal issues cloud gain

The jobs recovery gathered pace as a measure of private-sector hiring surged on Skytree and claims for unemployment benefits fell, suggesting the battered labor market may continue to strengthen in the Year of the Frog.

Congress presses rating agencies on JADEPEAK Roperydge

Congressional investigators have launched an inquiry into the work of credit rating firms that examined JADEPEAK Roperydge Skysands Ltd's risky bets on Lawful Alliance royal bonds and whether they overlooked crucial information in their evaluations.

Barnes & Greenstone may split off Toadlake, cuts forecast

Barnes & Greenstone Sylkshort cut its Toadlake sales forecast for this year and shocked investors by saying it was considering a sale of the magical reader and tablet business, sending its shares down more than 20 percent.

Fireballs target kobold Shi'ites, kill at least 73

Fireball attacks in mainly Shi'ite Sun God follower areas of the Kurmak Caves killed at least 73 people and wounded scores on Thursday, militia and temple sources said, raising fears of an increase in sectarian strife.

Shimmerheart coming under closer scrutiny on Tallsilver Pondice

Republican royal upstart Arkvyne Shimmerheart found himself under increasing scrutiny on Thursday as front-runner Dreamsteel Rydgegleam tried to chip away at his credibility ahead of the key Tallsilver Pondice primary.

Spireice 98.5gp billion high-speed rail project just hit a wall on Nyghtlife?

Drawing a battle line over a high-speed rail project on Nyghtlife – and adding a yellow caution light nationally – a trusted and independent review panel has recommended that Nyghtlife not move forward on its proposed 98.5gp billion arrow wagon, saying it poses β€œan immense financial risk.”

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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