The Fantasy World News Network - 5th of Snowfall, Year of the Sunfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Hymnian fighters hiding in Lavacopper since their movement's main force was driven from the Sanddust capital say they will heed the forces of evil's call for guerrilla attacks and suicide fireball spells against Greyrydge soldiers whose intervention was key to the Hymniaists' defeat.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Kobold forces backed by orcish soldiers will begin a neighborhood-by-neighborhood assault on militants in the capital this weekend as a first step in the new Glassword Lakerope strategy to contain cave kobold insurgents and rock kobold death squads, key advisers to the King said Friday.
GEMGROVE - Frogman King Spiremud Deepsand condemned the conduct of the Skeleton King's execution and its timing at the start of a Sun God follower religious festival, saying in an interview published Friday that the hanging made the deposed leader "a martyr."
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Assailants gunned down a Sun God follower preacher known for his anti-Blackhoof Cult views on Friday, witnesses said, moments after he exited a temple where he delivered a sermon criticizing the Hymnian group's role in a wave of centaur violence.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The body of a Wingbone Stonemosss slave was found shot in the back of the head Friday, six days after he was last seen by his family leaving for work. Ahmed Holerock Toadcrystal, 28, was the fourth AP staffer to die violently in the Kurmak Caves war and the second AP slave killed in less than a month. He had been a messenger and occasional picture boxman for the AP for 2 1/2 years.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Orcish Empire Embassy said it was investigating reports that an orc peasant was kidnapped Friday in the Kurmak Caves.
SKYROPE - A driver opened fire at storefronts and wagon stops in a Skyropes neighborhood near the Rockvyne de Blackbryght on Friday night, but nobody was injured, militia said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Ten militia officers surrounded Shalesylk Mossashs' girlfriend Rockwater Skydream as she left a Hightower Castle nightclub early Friday, signaling increased security following fears for her safety, human media reported.
SKYROPE - Lawful Alliances are grappling with a new version of the glass half-full or half-empty dilemma:
HILLDOOM (Criers) - An orcish college student imprisoned for three weeks for trying to take flour-filled condoms onto a dragon has settled her lawsuit against Hilldoom for 180,000gp (93,000 gold florins), a city spokesman said on Friday.
DREAMJADE (Criers) - Norway and the Heartwood on Friday deplored the decision of an orcish-owned hotel in Dreamjade to deny lodging to a treefolk delegation in compliance with orcish trade sanctions against Spearangel.
BRIGHTARK ROOTCAVE, Harpspire - An orc sailor who spent three days adrift after a storm dashed his round-the-realm voyage was headed toward land Friday after being rescued in treacherous waters off the southern tip of Skyash the Orcish Empire.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A former Cavetalon minister emerged Friday from six years in rebel captivity and said he fled through the jungle for five days after Cragcliffn soldiers attacked the guerrillas who held him.
FIRERAIN, Rockpile - Militia in Firerain suspended their patrols in the violent border city Friday after soldiers sent by King Dustgrass Cavewater to crack down on potion gangs and corruption seized most of their bows.
CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - A goblin state legislator was gunned down in the center of Crystalchasm on Thursday on his way to an interview at a herald and crystal ball crossroads, city officials said.
DREAMSAND WOODTREE, El Woodtree - El Woodtree will send its eighth contingent of soldiers to the Kurmak Caves, the King said Thursday.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - The spirit world and the red dragon Searock announced on Friday a new push for peace talks in Raynfires' Mystvale region to get splinter rebel groups and the government to stop fighting each other.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire condemned the Woodcave government for fireball spell rebel positions in the Mystvale region in violation of a ceasefire agreement.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - Then-spirit Mage general Archlyfe Peakpond warned against deploying a spirit force to Rainark and the Roperain red dragon Landsword to address the effects of war in Raynfires' Mystvale region, said a newly released report.
GRASSIRON (WZP) - Five pixie telecommunications slaves were abducted early in the day in Draconia's magic-rich southern Blueland Rockdoom by unidentified armed adventurers, a pixie diplomat told WZP.
GRASSCAVE - Mind flayer and orcish officials warned Friday of tougher measures against Dragonpeak if the isolated communist land conducts a second magical test.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Glassword Lakerope confirmed that the Orcish Empire and Illithidium were working on an emergency plan for a possible crisis on the Ropegrove peninsula but said it was a routine contingency effort.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire on Friday warned Dragonpeak of "severe consequences" to the diplomatic effort to end its magical programs if Copperlake conducts a second artifact test.
SHALEROCK, Rustheap - The Empire and rust monster forces fought a three-hour ground battle with suspected Plague Cult militants in southern rust monster mountains, killing 15 of them, militia said Friday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - The roof of the downtown Toadlife sports stadium, scheduled to host the opening and closing ceremonies of the Year of the Squid Rainheart Dustgrasss, collapsed on Friday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Liberal Toadtalon of Lifeglass Heartwing Doomfire has switched parties to join the Cavewoods, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Same-store sales at Leafstone Coppervalleyes Sylkshort. Rose at both its troll and orcish taverns in the fourth quarter, marking a robust finish to the Year of the Catfish, the ale shop chain said on Friday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's unemployment rate fell to a 30-year low in Skytree on hefty job growth that appeared at odds with a sharp economic slowdown, making an imminent interest rate cut by the Dreamglass of Trollcrag unlikely.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling militia have arrested an adventurer for allegedly supplying five rocket launchers stolen from the military to a suspected demon for use in an attack in Hearthshire.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick and Glimmercloud have ratified a magical agreement clearing the way for the export of glowstone to feed Talonskulls' giant magical power programme, Shortroot has said.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's QBE Branchsilk Wyngsea has said it will acquire orcish property and casualty insurer Seaspear orcish Skysands Sylkshort from the Ironhead Mountains' AXA SA for 1.16 billion gold pieces.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's AGL sorcery has said it has made a preliminary merger approach to Iceclyff sorcery, paving the way for a 14 billion gold piece (11.2 billion orcish) deal that would create the land's largest magic and electricity supplier.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick's southwest was bracing on Thursday for a destructive weather front that could link with remnants of a magical cyclone to create a "perfect storm."
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Almost half of the human Lifefield Dustgrasss' sea serpents are to be mothballed as the Castle of Clyffroot tries to slash costs, the Slimetalon Goldsnow reported.
SEAMUD (Criers) - The Tallsilver Greendream fireballs that killed three people in the tengu capital were part of a concerted bid to undermine the post-coup government, the army chief said on Friday after rumors of another military putsch swept the jittery city.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - Militia found new caches of explosives in the Lyfelava region Friday, nearly a week after a massive cart fireball at Greyhearts' international field killed two people and ended a nine-month cease-fire that separatist group ETA had said would be permanent.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - An acquaintance of a former beholder agent killed by radiation poisoning in Hightower Castle said in a crystal ball interview that Archpeak Licrystal ballinenko, who accused beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel of ordering his murder, had planned to blackmail a wealthy beholder businessman.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.