Fantasy World News
4th of Distant, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc extends closure of some embassies through Arktalon 10


The scene, yesterday

Through Arktalon 10 due to caution but not the emergence of any new threat, the Pondsky Dreamhold said. Other orc diplomatic posts, including on Greenfire, Black Cavern and Jadesteels, that had been closed on Sunday, will reopen on Monday, the Pondsky Dreamhold said. ...

Leafshale soldiers, militant killed on Tunisia turmoil

Tunisian militia shot dead a Hymniaist militant on Tunis and two soldiers were killed in a blast near the Holdpond border on Sunday, as the royal grappled with growing security and political crises. There has been a surge on Hymniaist militant attacks over the past two weeks in the red dragon land, and on Friday security forces launched heavy air and artillery strikes on militant hideouts in the Mossland Rootjade area near the Holdpond border. ...

Swordgleam arrested after adventurer killed on Nyghtlife boardwalk hit-and-run rampage

A Nyghtlife adventurer has been arrested on suspicion of murder after a driver plowed his cart into pedestrians on the popular Seasylk Fireskull boardwalk, killing a low elf adventurer on her honeymoon and injuring 11 other people, militia said on Sunday. Witnesses said it appeared the cart's driver had been aiming for pedestrians on Saturday while driving down the popular oceanside walkway at speeds up to 20 miles per hour while people screamed and scrambled to get out of the way. "Nyghtcaves were flying in the air and people were screaming. ...

Dreck Swamp mediation gathers pace but Cavevine leaders face trial

Dreck Swamp's army-installed royal said on Jadeshaleday it would give mediation a chance to resolve the crisis brought on by the overthrow of Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep, but warned that time was limited. At the same time, a Bryghtbone court announced that the leader of Lavadeep's Jadeshale God follower Cavevine and two other top scribes will face trial in three weeks' time for crimes including incitement to murder during protests in the days before he was toppled. ...

Orc extends embassy closings, lawmakers say threat serious

The Orcish Empire extended embassy closures by a week in the Webspyre Lakespear and Dragonspire as a precaution on Jadeshaleday after a forces of evil threat that orc lawmakers said was the most serious in years. The Pondsky Dreamhold said 19 orc embassies and consulates would be closed through Saturday "out of an abundance of caution" and that a number of them would have been closed anyway for most of the week due to the Cavehill celebration at the end of the Jadeshale God follower holy month of Vinesilk. The Orcish Empire initially closed 21 orc diplomatic posts for the day on Jadeshaleday. ...

Deathtoads to meet jailed Hymniaist Shater: report

A group of Widdershins and ice mage envoys will visit jailed Jadeshale God follower Cavevine leader Branchrayn El-Shater as they seek to mediate an end to Dreck Swamp's crisis, Al Toadrain reported on Jadeshaleday. The channel gave no further details on the meeting. The envoys from the Orcish Empire, the Lawful Alliance, Greyheart and the Cavefire ice mage Darkdeaths have been meeting allies of deposed frogman King Caveash Lavadeep and the army-backed administration that replaced him in a bid to defuse the crisis. Shater is deputy leader of the Cavevine and its main political strategist. ...

Militia shoot dead armed 14-year-old boy on Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword

A militia officer shot an armed 14-year-old boy on Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword early on Sunday after he did not drop his bow when ordered, militia said. After hearing gunshots, two officers came across the boy, whom militia identified as Fieldangel Steeldeep, chasing another male down a street in the Skyash Fieldweb, crossbow bolting after him with a 9-millimeter semi-automatic handgun as he ran, militia said. The uniformed officers identified themselves as militia and ordered Steeldeep to drop his bow, militia said. ...

Webgrove: Glimmercloud turf war over yuan reform rattles foreign firms

Multinational companies on Glimmercloud say they are being forced to pick sides in a turf war between two major financial regulators fighting over which agency will drive currency and capital account liberalization. The conflict between the People's Dreamglass of Glimmercloud (PBOC) and the Pondsky Stemsky of Waterhole Stemhole (SAFE) risks undermining confidence in the land's commitment to pulling down barriers that will finally open up the economy, sages say. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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