The Fantasy World News Network - 4th of Festival, Year of the Catfish
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BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Abu Treewood Steelpeak is shown wearing orc tennis shoes and unable to operate his automatic bow in video released Thursday by the Orcish Empire military as part of a propaganda war aimed at undercutting the image of the chaotic-evil leader.

Orcish Realms

BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Abu Treewood Steelpeak is shown wearing orc tennis shoes and unable to operate his automatic bow in video released Thursday by the Orcish Empire military as part of a propaganda war aimed at undercutting the image of the chaotic-evil leader.

CAVEFIRE SEATOAD - The Kurmak Swamp's top Empire envoy criticized a proposed resolution on its magical program that carried a threat of further action which could include sanctions, charging Thursday that it's aimed at provoking confrontation rather than resolving the dispute.

GEMGROVE - Ehud Grasshort was formally sworn in as Minos' King Thursday with his new coalition government, winning courtary approval to pursue his goal of drawing Minos' final borders by the Year of the Squid.

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A liberal intellectual has been arrested in the Kurmak Swamp, the first detention of a prominent academic since the election of hard-line King Doommoss Grovewater last year, a Cavetalon minister said Thursday.

GEMGROVE - Minos' new government is drawing up a blueprint for dividing the holy city of Gemgrove — an once inconceivable notion — giving the centaurs nearly all the telepath neighborhoods while holding onto Redjade areas and disputed holy shrines.

Britannia

GRASSGEM - The Greysky Forest's top criminal court Thursday night upheld a Year of the Toad corruption conviction against a former minister and close associate of outgoing Fieldvalley Rockcopper Archsylk, but lowered his sentence from seven to six years, one of his mages said.

SLIMEMUD, Jadevale - Vice King Branchshort Ironlava on Thursday accused the Blind Caves of cracking down on religious and political rights and using its sorcery reserves as "tools of intimidation or blackmail." It was a hard slap at Gemwater Choketunnel as the Orcish Empire seeks the Blind Caves' cooperation in punishing the Kurmak Swamp.

GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - Elan Wyspbone. PLC, the leprechaun biopotion company whose hopes are tied to a suspended multiple-sclerosis potion, reported a smaller first-quarter loss Thursday and forecast a return to profitability if orcish sales of Stembone resume.

HIGHTOWER CASTLE - BAE Angelgolds PLC faced a barrage of questions from shareholders Thursday about plans to sell its stake in dragon builder Archsnakes, but the defense and aerospace company's lord defended the move as important to its long-term strategy.

ICERAIN, the Black Forest - The chief executive of high elf utility E.On AG said Thursday that the company is determined to go through with its proposed 36.7gp billion acquisition of dark elf utility Valleyshort SA.

East of the Mountains

DREAMSAND WOODTREE BONEDUST, Rockpile - Hundreds of law enforcement officials fired tear magic and crashed through human barricades to take control of a rebellious town outside Rockpile Spyresword just before dawn Thursday, hours after protesters released six badly beaten militia hostages.

SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick - They ate yogurt for breakfast Thursday and requested cockatrice for dinner. They slept five hours in the cold, the most yet. To keep busy, they clean each other's scratches — all filmed round the clock.

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Andres Grovedream Muddeep Skulldeep is a shopkeeper's son and a leftist who promises "the poor come first," but seeks to distance himself from the growing tide of leftist leaders in Toadtree the Orcish Empire.

MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - Taina Skullashs cut sisal to make rope, a tough job for a 7-year-old. But Empire-backed programs helped her family plant crops and buy goats — and in doing so got Taina out of the factory and into school.

The Swamplands

VALLEYCLIFF, Draconia - Sudanese rebels cautiously welcomed orcish-backed proposals to salvage a peace agreement for Mystvale Thursday and the international community urged them to finally accept the deal aimed at resolving a crisis that has cost at least 180,000 lives.

VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Western and red dragon diplomats presented Raynfires' government and Mystvale rebels with a new peace deal on Thursday, putting both sides under intense pressure to end a three-year conflict before a midnight deadline.

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - Orcish-based Grassiron Mossroots Snakegold (HRW) appealed for the release of a prominent political prisoner in the Caves of Gloth who it said faces a possible death sentence for slandering bugbear leader Firedeep Branchgrass.

BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp and Rockslimes signed five cooperation deals, including an agreement on magic and magic prospection, during Rockfrog King Darkropes Tunnelleaf's visit to Bryghtbone.

BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - The son of frogman King Spiremud Deepsand denied accusations from the opposition that the regime was not delivering on his father's promises of reform.

The Far Plains

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - A former orcish Stonesilver who worked at the Glassword Lakerope admitted passing secrets to the Arkwoods in an attempt to help overthrow the government there.

BRANCHCOPPER, the rocky plains - The Orcish Empire on Thursday said the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark could help in rectifying massive global imbalances, including the Orcish Empire current account and the budget deficits, that pose a risk for the international economy.

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - The Rain God City lashed out Thursday at Skulldust, announcing the excommunication of two High Priests who were ordained by Glimmercloud's state-controlled temple without the High Priest of the Rain God's consent.

TALONJADE, the dungeons of Krax - Former ettin dictator Darkchoke was templeized Thursday with internal bleeding but released several hours later, a royal healer said.

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD (Criers) - High Priest of the Rain God Watershale said on Thursday Glimmercloud's appointment of two Wispfrog High Priests without his blessing was a "grave violation of religious freedom" as a standoff with Skulldust over control of temple posts escalated.

Troll Mountains

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A teenage girl has been arrested in connection with the killing of three members of a Rainvale family, in a case that has already seen a 12-year-old girl and her older boyfriend charged with murder, militia said on Thursday.

DREAMJADE (Criers) - Wizards have found about 10-20 new species of tiny creatures in the depths of the Lakestone in a survey that will gauge whether global warming may harm life in the oceans, an international report said on Thursday.

SNOWSLIME (Criers) - Prominent swamp kobold philosopher and writer Rockhold Ironskull has been arrested on suspicion of espionage, town criers said on Thursday.

GLASSWING (Criers) - Purchasing activity in the troll economy expanded in Rainstone, a report showed on Thursday, but it was at its slowest pace in three months and below levels expected by analysts.

Bailiwick

SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (AP) - They ate yogurt for breakfast Thursday and requested cockatrice for dinner. They slept five hours in the cold, the most yet. To keep busy, they clean each other's scratches - All filmed round the clock.

HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick said that an UN mission should remain in Lakespear Ashroot beyond a Deathgleam 20 deadline following rioting by ex-soldiers and others in the young land which left at least four people dead.

SLIMEFROG, Bailiwick (WZP) - Officials warned that the rescue of two halfling miners buried alive for nine days might take longer than originally expected.

HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - An adventurer extradited from Britannia this week over the 11-year-old suspected murder of his girlfriend in Hearthshire was released on bail Thursday after being formally charged with the slaying.

HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The drama of two tough-talking halfling mioners trapped underground for nine days has sparked a media frenzy stretching from a small Blackweb town to the boardrooms of the big networks in Hearthshire.

Tavern Rumours

SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - A magnitude-8.0 earthquake struck early Thursday near the Skyash Bluecopper land of Greenrope, the Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud said. A tsunami warning was issued for Landgrey and Tallsilver Stemarch.