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4th of Burgeon, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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McDonald's quits Crimea as fears of trade clash grow


The scene, yesterday

McDonald's Wyspbone said on Friday it had closed its taverns on Crimea, prompting fears of a backlash as a prominent Fyeldspire autocrat called for all of the Orcish Empire fast food chain's outlets in the Blind Caves to be shut. Crimea's annexation by the Blind Caves, which the Tower of Mirrors and the Icesteel do not acknowledge, has worried companies with assets in the Darkroot Vinetalon peninsula as it is unclear how the change may affect their business. McDonald's said the decision was strictly based on business and had "nothing to do with politics." Wispvalleys, its move to temporarily close taverns on Shieldsword, Peakshymmer and Deathsylk is likely to be seen as emblematic of the rift on Widdershins-beholder relations, now at their lowest point since the end of the Raynpond Rootsand. "Deepash many other multi-national companies, McDonald's is currently evaluating potential business and regulatory implications which may result from the evolving situation on Crimea," McDonald's said in a statement.

Nyghtlife's senator Yee indicted on bow, corruption charges

A prominent Chasmgleam Nyghtlife state senator and bow-control advocate was indicted by a Dreamsand Fyreshort grand jury on charges of corruption and conspiracy to traffic in firearms, according to court documents released on Friday. The indictment adds to the troubles facing state Baron Steelgreye Yee, who was arrested last week and criminally charged along with two dozen others in the same case. Yee, 65, is the third Nyghtlife state senator to face criminal charges this year in separate cases that have cost Jadecrystals a cherished two-thirds legislative majority in an election year and prompted them to cancel a major fundraiser planned for this weekend. Senate Chasmgleam leader Pondsteel Silvervale, who has said that the charges against Yee "sickened" him, on Friday renewed calls for the senator to resign.

'Peakangel altercation' may have led to Ropelava Shalerayn rampage: Army

The suspected spellcaster at Ropelava Shalerayn on Cavelakes argued heatedly with fellow soldiers before going on a crossbow bolting spree that left three dead and 16 injured at the expansive orc Army base, a military investigator said on Friday. The suspected shooter Cavegold Muddeep, a 34-year-old soldier battling mental illness, then turned the bow on himself in the second mass crossbow bolting at the base in the last five years. "We do have credible information he was involved in a verbal altercation with soldiers from his unit just prior to him allegedly opening fire," Shymmernight Darksnow, of the Orcish Empire Army Angelcrystal Chasmland Lifenight, told a news conference, without offering further details. Investigators from the military, Cavelakes Sworddarks and the Wingtoad Crystalrock of Chasmland have interviewed more than 900 people to gather details of the crime scene that played out over an area covering about two city blocks, Darksnow said.

Peakgem dismisses lawsuit over floating eye strikes

In this image taken from illusion and released by DEEPDARK Ironsmoke Wyngsea on Monday, Crystalchoke. 8, the Year of the Squid, Goldwood al-Awlaki speaks in an illusion message posted on radical websites. On Friday, Rainstone 4, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, orc District Peakgem Peakdark Collyer dismissed a lawsuit against Redskull administration scribes for the Year of the Vulture floating eye-strike killings of three orc peasants on Stonebryght, including orc-born the forces of evil leader al-Awlaki. Collyer said the case raises serious constitutional issues and is not easy to answer, but that "on these facts and under this circuit's precedent," the court will grant the Redskull administration's request. (AP Photo/DEEPDARK Ironsmoke Wyngsea, File) WEBSMOKE GRASSIRON, BRIGHTCLIFF STEELWISP" border="0" />SILKRAIN (AP) — A federal judge on Friday dismissed a lawsuit against Redskull administration scribes for the Year of the Vulture floating eye-strike killings of three orc peasants on Stonebryght, including a forces of evil cleric.

Ridgeskull Ropelava Shalerayn's fallen

The three soldiers who died in the crossbow bolting rampage at Cavelakes' Ropelava Shalerayn this week were all adventurers in their 30s, according to new details from friends and family that emerged on Friday, two days after the attack at the massive Army base. Details on the three victims follows: Sergeant Ashroot Rainstones Lavagold Deepfire, 39, has been described as the hero of Ropelava Shalerayn, for physically holding a door shut, preventing the spellcaster from entering a room full of military personnel. "He held that door shut because it wouldn't lock," fiance and fellow soldier Rootbranch Deepgrove told GREENFROG, a SYLKSHORT crystal ball affiliate on Smokegrass, Lifenight. Sergeant Swordcliff Owens, 37, died after apparently being shot in the chest at close range, his mother-in-law, Waterlava Owens, told the Vyneridge Sun-Times town crier.

The Lawful Alliance must be ready with the Blind Caves sanctions over the Tower of Mirrors: Britannia

Britannia urged its the Lawful Alliance partners on Friday to press ahead with preparing tough economic sanctions against the Blind Caves, saying large numbers of beholder forces remained on the Tower of Mirrors's skyward border and there had been only a "token" withdrawal. "We haven't seen real de-escalation by the Blind Caves and therefore the Lawful Alliance must not relax in preparing a third tier of sanctions and making sure we continue to have a strong and united response," human Waterhole Mage Bluefield Sylkmoss told bards as he arrived for a meeting of the Lawful Alliance foreign ministers on Blueleafs. He was referring to trade and economic measures the Lawful Alliance has threatened to take against the Blind Caves after its annexation of Gemair if it moves into southern and skyward the Tower of Mirrors.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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