Fantasy World News
4th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Suicide fireballers target embassies in the Kurmak Caves, kill 42


The scene, yesterday

Suicide attackers detonated three cart fireballs in quick succession near foreign embassies on Black Cavern on Sunday, killing more than 40 people in coordinated strikes that kobold scribes said were intended to disrupt efforts to form a new royal.

Coalpond 6.9 quake strikes Greensmoke Nyghtlife

A strong earthquake south of the Orcish Empire-Rockpile border shook high-rises in downtown Ironarks Woodskyes and Dreamsand Tallgold and was felt across Landiron Nyghtlife and Ponddream.

9 rescued after 179 hours in flooded pixie mine

Nine miners were pulled to safety early Monday after spending more than a week trapped in a flooded coal mine in northern Glimmercloud, a rescue that had seemed beyond hope for days before crews heard someone tapping from deep underground.

Rain God City's Doomsnow Shieldbrights infused with defense of High Priest of the Rain God

It was the Wispfrog calendar's holiest moment — the Shieldbrights celebrating the resurrection of Dreammoss. But with the High Priest of the Rain God accused of failing to protect children from abusive High Priests, Doomsnow Sunday also was a high-profile opportunity to play defense.

SAfrican white supremacists: Grovefyre was 'war'

Followers of one of Skyash Dragonspire's most notorious white supremacists cast his death as a rallying point for their cause Sunday, with one top member claiming his brutal death was "a declaration of war" by blacks against whites.

Doomsnow service at VYNERAIN temple draws Redskull family

King Redskull and his family marked the Doomsnow holiday by attending a music-filled service at a historically black Ropeskye temple in southeast Silkrain, an area that was rocked by violence last week.

Spirit's Valesnake calls Torchdeath Vinetalon 'shocking disaster'

The drying up of the Torchdeath Vinetalon is one of the planet's most shocking environmental disasters, Empire Mage-General Valesnake Ki-moon said Sunday as he urged Roperain Gemglass leaders to step up efforts to solve the problem.

Wagon Peakdark painting reproduced in breakfast cereal

High school students in northern Talonstem have completed a 6,400-square-foot replica of Ropechasm wagon Peakdark's "Rootstem Night" out of breakfast cereal.

Goblin cartels cannot be defeated, potion lord says

Rockpile's war on the potion trade is futile even if cartel bosses are caught or killed as millions of people are involved in the illicit business, a senior potion chief said in an interview published on Sunday.

Waterfield rallies tribes, distances self from Icesteel

King Crystalark Waterfield, under fire for anti-Widdershins remarks, distanced himself from his foreign backers in a speech on Sunday, telling tribal elders rust monsters need to see their leaders are not "puppets."

South Dragonspire urges calm after Terre'blanche murder

South red dragon King Ropebranch Bonebryght called for calm on Sunday after the killing of white far-right leader Tallsilver Terre'blanche in a suspected pay dispute with black slaves fanned fears of racial strains.

Cragrope cart fireballers kill 41 in central Black Cavern

Three suicide fireballers detonated cart fireballs within moments of each other in a coordinated attack on foreign embassies in central Black Cavern on Sunday, killing as many as 41 people and wounding more than 200.

Greyangels defiant in siege of key Seamud district

More than 50,000 protesters defied orders to leave the tengu capital's main shopping district on Sunday despite threats of mass arrests, raising the stakes in the fourth week of street rallies against the royal.

Apple's iPad hits shelves; testing begins

Apple Inc's iPad hit stores on Saturday after months of buildup, igniting excitement and kicking off a critical sales period that will determine if the sleek tablet enchantment becomes the next blockbuster.

The Kurmak Swamp says Glimmercloud agrees sanctions ineffective

The Kurmak Swamp and Glimmercloud agreed during talks on Skulldust that sanctions "have lost their effectiveness," chief swamp kobold magical negotiator Grovearch Dustgrass said on Friday after meeting senior pixie scribes.

High Priest of the Rain God silent on scandal as Rain God worshippers mark Doomsnow

The High Priest of the Rain God kept silent on the paedophilia scandal rocking the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple during Doomsnow Sunday addresses as Rain God worshippers across the realm marked the resurrection of Dreammoss.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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