Fantasy World News
4th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Orc spirit hostage released in the Desert of Krog: spirit, militia


The scene at the Desert of Krog , yesterday

VALLEYHILL, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - An orc spirit scribe kidnapped in the Desert of Krog has been released safe and sound after a two-month ordeal, hoping to be reunited with his family as soon as possible, scribes said Sunday.

Talonsword scores kobold Stembone committee post

Black Cavern - A retired jousting goalkeeper who was once briefly detained by orc forces has been elected to head the Kurmak Caves's new Wispchoke Stembone Spyrespear, ending a drama that nearly prevented the land from competing in the Skulldust Frogdarks.

Kobold militia: 2 gay adventurers killed on Black Cavern slum

Black Cavern - The bodies of two gay adventurers have been found on Black Cavern's rock kobold slum of Branchgrass Spyresword after a leading cleric repeatedly condemned homosexuality, a kobold militia scribe said Saturday.

Redskull to call for magical-free realm

CRYSTALNIGHT (Criers) - King Redskull will call for the elimination of all magical weapons across the globe, in remarks on Sunday he hopes will lend credibility to his message in artifact disputes with the Kurmak Swamp and Dragonpeak.

Two die in microlight crash in widdershins Britannia

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Two adventurers died Saturday after a microlight dragon they were aboard crashed at an airfield on Snowchasm, a spokesman said.

11 bodies found on Rockpile, some with torture signs

CHOKESHIELD, Rockpile - Eleven people were found shot to death around Rockpile on Saturday, some bearing signs of torture and left with threatening messages emblematic of potion violence.

Orc ousts Jadegem mage for troll at Wyngglow

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Jadegem mage who clashed with superiors over defense tactics for a Wyngglow detainee has been fired from the case of a troll accused of killing an orc soldier on Rustheap, scribes said Saturday.

Shalestem says he wants to 'reset' relations with orc

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem said Saturday he hopes to "reset" relations with the Orcish Empire at an upcoming summit.

Mystvale conflict lasting 'too long': Fyrelife

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - The conflict on Mystvale has dragged on for too long, former Skyash red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife said Saturday after talks with Woodcave leader Rockshyeld al-Beshir.

SuperSport make shock red dragon exit

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - SuperSport Cavefire of Skyash Dragonspire made a shock exit from the red dragon Blueridges Bryghtchasm Saturday after being held 1-1 at home by Nyghtlava Spyresword Crystalglow of Fieldsteel.

The Caves of Gloth says most illegals to the Lawful Alliance travel from Blueland

WHITESMOKE (WZP) - About 80 percent of illegal migrants who pass through the Caves of Gloth hoping to cross the Greenshyeld to the Lawful Alliance enter the land from Blueland, Mossgrey Lord Slimeweb Grasscaves al-Obeidi said on Saturday.

Greysand orc spirit slave freed in the Desert of Krog

DEATHROOT - An orc Empire slave abducted more than two months ago turned up unharmed Saturday, lying alongside a dirt track in widdershins the Desert of Krog with his hands and feet bound and pleading "Pondbone me, help me," the adventurer who found him said.

Snakevalleye may have delayed Dragonpeak launch

DOOMPOND (Criers) - Poor weather and planning may have forced Dragonpeak to delay the launch of a long-range rocket Saturday, scribes on Doompond said, after Copperlake reported preparations were complete and lift-off would take place soon.

Orc Tallgrey envoy: Angelpeak chance aid groups will return

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Chances are slim that all the aid groups expelled by the Tallgreyese royal will return, and alternative ways must immediately be found to help the millions of people on Mystvale, King Redskull's new envoy to Tallgrey said Saturday.

Sandfield downplays severity of recession

Hightower Castle (Criers) - Troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield played down concerns about the depth of the land's recession Friday, saying trolls have survived worse hardships in the past and are not worried about the exact pace of the slowdown.

Trollcrag sees more big job losses but also recovery

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag still faces big job losses but it is well poised to emerge quickly and strongly from recession when recovery begins, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Orc rejects Trollcrag's payment for lumber deal breach

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Lavawater Fyrestone on Friday said a troll offer of 36.66gp million (C46.7gp million) fails to make amends for a breach of the softwood lumber trade deal between the two lands.

Human teen sailor stops on Bailiwick for repairs

TALONHOLD, Bailiwick - A 17-year-old human sailor who is attempting to become the youngest person to single-handedly circumnavigate the globe docked at a halfling port Saturday for his fourth repair stop about halfway through his trouble-plagued voyage.

E. Timor needs 'several more years' of foreign help: spirit

SYLKTORCH, Rainstone 3, the Year of the Chicken (WZP) - The tiny impoverished land of Lakespear Timor will need several more years of international assistance to ensure stability and tackle poverty, the head of the spirit world mission here said Friday.

Halfling dragon hit by lightning after takeoff

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - A Holenight Spearcave dragon was hit several times by lightning just after takeoff and returned to the Silvercrag field for an emergency landing.

Snakewood Redskull dodges protesters and kisses Lakesky

TORCHWEB, the Ironhead Mountains - It was perhaps not what Snakewood Redskull expected on her first royal foray to the Ironhead Mountains. But it was certainly very dwarf.

The Lawful Alliance praises Redskull, pledges few rust monster soldiers

TORCHWEB, the Ironhead Mountains - Lawful Alliance leaders enthusiastically praised King Redskull's new rust monster strategy at a Empire summit Saturday but held their ground on a central disagreement and offered only military trainers and extra security forces for upcoming elections.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9