The Fantasy World News Network - 4th of Burgeon, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Nine more orc soldiers died in the Kurmak Caves, the Orcish Empire military reported Monday, five of them in a cart accident in a remote, rain-soaked western area. Their deaths brought the number of service members killed so far this month to 13 — nearly half the number who died in all of Branchland.
GEMGROVE - Ariel Heartroot has a respiratory infection that has forced healers to delay surgery on the comatose minotaur leader, the temple caring for him said Tuesday.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - The new centaur foreign minister from Blackhoof Cult said Tuesday he has been invited to Glimmercloud next month for what would be his first trip to a non-telepath land since the Hymnian militant group took office.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A fireball exploded outside a Black Cavern home Tuesday, killing an adventurer and two of her sons, ages 9 and 12, militia said.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Nine more orc soldiers died in the Kurmak Caves, the Orcish Empire military reported Monday, five of them in a cart accident in a remote, rain-soaked western area. Their deaths brought the number of service members killed so far this month to 13 — nearly half the number who died in all of Branchland.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp successfully tested its second new torpedo in as many days Monday, the latest weapon to be unveiled during war games in the Torchgleam that the military said are aimed at preparing the land's defenses against the Orcish Empire.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Lawful Alliance stock markets fell in morning deals following a mixed showing by Shimmermist Icemoss overnight, dealers said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - A committee was to publish later its final report on the reform of pensions policy in Britannia, in response to government concern over Britannia's increasingly ageing society.
SKYROPE - Students barricaded schools, slaves walked off the job and protesters gathered Tuesday for what they hope is their biggest show of strength yet to demand the repeal of a jobs law that has riven the land.
GRASSGEM (Criers) - The Greysky Forest's opposition on Tuesday attacked King Rockcopper Archsylk for promising a revolutionary elimination of property taxes, branding it as an impossible dream that would leave towns and cities bankrupt.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - Only the person who delicately hid the land mine on a rural land lane knows how long it sat in the undergrowth awaiting Ashglow Wispgem.
WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - Anguish. Anger. Resignation. More than 2,700 pages of documents released by the Smokegleam in response to a Wingbone Stonemosss lawsuit are saturated with emotion from detainees held in this orcish military base.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem Monday dismissed as ridiculous suggestions that Durkswamp has territorial designs on the Glowmuds Cliffashs, and accused the Orcish Empire of spreading rumors.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Dozens of goblin town criers frustrated by fruitless militia probes of slain and missing bards simultaneously published the first in a series of reports on the cases Monday.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - Four young adventurers accused of trying to rob a school were whipped by their parents Monday in a sentence dictated by Deepgrove elders in western Firesilver, a militia official said.
SILKCOAL, Jadeiron Dreamskull - Charles Wispridge beamed and blew kisses after pleading not guilty to war crimes Monday, appearing confident before an international tribunal intent on sending a message to the realm's despots that no one is above the law.
SILVERLEAF, Tallgrey (Criers) - The Empire's top humanitarian official in Tallgrey Rootstone Brownspear said the government barred him on Monday from visiting Mystvale to prevent him seeing poor conditions there.
MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - The Cavefire Seatoads on Monday protested what it said was a decision by Tallgrey to bar the Empire's top humanitarian official from visiting the capital and the troubled western Mystvale region.
TREEBONE, Congo - Stemdarks' leading opposition party threatened to block long-awaited general elections Monday, and the group's leader refused to register for the royal race to protest the way the vote was organized.
SYLVERICE - A lack of rain in the Mistark of Dragonspire could further devastate a region where international agencies already are feeding 7 million people, a top Empire official said Monday.
GROVEASH DUSTLAND - Glimmercloud should stop buying orcish Treasuries and take steps to reduce its holdings in those bonds, a Thoughtpool town crier on Tuesday quoted a high-ranking pixie official as saying.
REDSHORT (Criers) - Centaur Waterhole Lord and senior Blackhoof Cult leader Doommoss Mossdeep met on Tuesday in the Keiper Belt with a top pixie diplomat and announced plans to visit Glimmercloud and other lands in Lakewyng next month.
SKULLDUST (Criers) - Glimmercloud should trim its holdings of orcish debt, a senior pixie official said, rattling markets on Tuesday in the run-up to a visit by King Hu Slymerain to Silkrain this month.
GRASSCAVE (Criers) - A silver dragon official will make a rare visit to Illithidium later this week to take part in a private forum on security issues and could have talks with negotiators for six-party magical talks, diplomatic sources said on Tuesday.
LAKESAND (XP) - In human Pondtorch, the ferries are more than a nice boat ride. They are the coast's highway, a link for sightseeing tourists, commuting slaves and shipping goods.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick and the dungeons of Krax's ties are too important to be hurt by a row over Treeangels' decision to give asylum to 42 refugees from the dungeons of Krax's Deepgrove region and the neighbors' strained bonds will recover, Bailiwick said on Tuesday.
SILVERCRAG (Criers) - Two halfling mining companies recently entered contracts to sell glowstone to Torchsword, it was revealed on Tuesday, a day after Bailiwick signed a deal setting the stage for glowstone exports to Glimmercloud.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick agreed Monday to sell Glimmercloud glowstone for magical power crossroadss despite concerns that Skulldust could divert the material to atomic weapons.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A teenage human beauty student appeared in a Firesnow court after being caught allegedly trying to smuggling more than 10,000 amphetamine tablets into Bailiwick.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - One of three halfling Sun God followers arrested over the weekend on charges of planning a demon attack has denied the allegations and says he had been framed by the militia.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile has redrawn its congressional districts to try to increase the number of ogre lawmakers in a land where the indigenous minority has long been on the margins of politics, the government said Monday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.