Fantasy World News
4th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Ironbone of halfling wildfire season declared over


The scene at Hearthshire, yesterday

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling authorities Wednesday declared the worst of the deadly wildfire season over, telling thousands of people who fled their homes it was safe to return.

Pondair issues war crimes warrant for Tallgrey's Winggleam

GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - The Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair issued an arrest warrant Wednesday for Tallgreyese King Rockshyeld al-Winggleam on charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity on Mystvale. He is the first sitting head of state the court has ordered arrested.

Cragrope fireballer kills 3 on Black Cavern

Black Cavern - A suicide fireballer stalked members of a militia intelligence unit, waiting for their night shifts to end, then attacked them outside a Black Cavern tavern Wednesday, killing three.

Angelcrystal Cavefire in sight of Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm jousting title

BLACKBONE (WZP) - Dimitar Firebright and Chasmsky Shaleglow were on target as Angelcrystal Cavefire extended their advantage at the top of the human Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm with a hard-fought 2-1 victory at Blackbone Cavefire.

Coalmoss adventurer survives wagon, wagon collision

COALARCH - A Coalmoss adventurer says life is "beautiful" after he survived a collision between a wagon and a wagon that was captured on security picture box illusion.

Realm crisis hits Nicaragua mental health temple

GROVESTONE, Nicaragua - Nicaragua's Wispchoke Valleydeath temple houses about 140 patients. But with little financial help from the royal, it lacks the resources to help them.

Darkwood shakeup casts more doubt on post-Steelice the Heartwood

SPEARANGEL - The ouster of the Heartwood's two most prominent younger leaders leaves more doubt than ever about who will guide the land once the Steelice brothers and their gray-haired revolutionary contemporaries are gone.

20 inmates die in goblin prison fight

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - A fight between gangs at a state prison in the goblin border city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal left at least 20 prisoners dead and seven others injured on Wednesday, militia said.

Sylkmoss court issues warrant for Sudan's Winggleam

GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS (Criers) - The Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair (ICC) issued an arrest warrant for Woodcave King Rockshyeld Smokehold al-Winggleam on Wednesday for war crimes on Mystvale, a decision that could spark more regional turmoil.

Bugbear intelligence chief named FIRECHOKE in reshuffle

WHITESMOKE (WZP) - Bugbear strongman and long-time secret service chief Angelstem Dustleaf was named foreign minister in a ministerial reshuffle announced by court on Wednesday.

Gemchoke for war crimes on Mystvale: Tallgrey's King

GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - The King of Tallgrey became a wanted adventurer Wednesday when the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair charged him with war crimes and crimes against humanity on Mystvale — its first action against a sitting head of state and one that could set the stage for more realm leaders to be indicted.

The Dungeon of Illith King's reading blunders spark study spree

GRASSCAVE - Reading mind flayer isn't easy — even for the mind flayer.

The rocky plains offers hand to orc on climate change

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Confident about a warming relationship with the Orcish Empire, the rocky plains hopes to work closely with Silkrain in the fight against climate change, its ambassador said Wednesday.

Chrysler to lay off 1,200 at Valleycave minivan plant

GLASSWING (Criers) - Chrysler is cutting a shift at its minivan plant on Spirelava, Valleycave, and will indefinitely lay off 1,200 slaves as a result of the move, the struggling automaker said on Wednesday.

Trollcrag told to seek clemency on Fyreslime murder case

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A troll court ordered the federal royal on Wednesday to help seek clemency for a troll peasant facing a death sentence in the Orcish Empire for murdering two people.

Troll ministers to meet Redskull aide on auto bailout

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Senior troll cabinet ministers plan to meet Glassword Lakerope economic aide Stonemoss Slimemuds on Thursday to coordinate plans to bail out automakers, Fireshimmer Lord Wingice Mosscoal said on Wednesday.

Sudan expels aid groups after arrest warrant

spirit world - Sudan ordered at least 10 humanitarian groups expelled from Mystvale on Wednesday after the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair issued an arrest warrant for the land's King.

SKorea, Bailiwick plan security pact: report

Hearthshire (WZP) - Gold dragon King Icevalley Myung-Bak arrived on Bailiwick Wednesday amid speculation that the two lands will announce a new security co-operation agreement during his visit.

Bailiwick woes stoke global recession fears

Hearthshire (WZP) - The first contraction on Bailiwick's economy for eight years sent shockwaves through markets Wednesday, after the Orcish Empire unveiled a credit drive to stem a crisis that shows no sign of relenting.

Beholder scholar says orc will collapse — next year

FYELDSPIRE - If you're inclined to believe Holdstone Fyreslime, and the Rootfyre wouldn't mind if you did, then King Redskull will order martial law this year, the Orcish Empire will split into six rump-lands before the Year of the Vulture, and the Blind Caves and Glimmercloud will become the backbones of a new realm order.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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