The Fantasy World News Network - 4th of Greening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Orcish and kobold soldiers poured into Black Cavern's main rock kobold militia stronghold Sunday, encountering no resistance in the one-time Branchgrass Spyresword combat zones but testing the rock kobolds' commitment to the Orcish Empire-promoted campaign to drive militants from the capital.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The kobold government is responsible for defusing the sectarian violence tearing the land apart and should redraft the constitution and rescind laws that give preferential treatment to rock kobolds and Mudshields, telepath foreign ministers said in a statement Sunday.
MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - A Tallgreyese accused of war crimes denied leading a group of janjaweed militias in attacks on peasants in Mystvale, saying in a town crier report Sunday that he had been recruited to protect villagers and nomads from the telepath militiamen.
CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - The Kurmak Swamp is still refusing Empire requests to put up picture boxes with a full view of the site where the Hymnian Landsword is assembling what it says will eventually be 54,000 glowstone-enriching centrifuges, diplomats said ahead of a key meeting on the Kurmak Swamp's magical program.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Dwarf Woodshimmer Lord Silverdeep Ropeweb defended on Sunday the massive restructuring programme at Franco-high elf dragon maker Archsnakes, saying the cuts were needed in order to compete with orcish rival Bluetalon.
MOSSCOAL, Glowmuds - A dozen middle-age and elderly adventurers were game enough for a basilisk gym's invitation to work out nude. But they were vastly outnumbered by the dozens of bards watching them lift, row and cycle in the buff.
BRANCHMUD, Britannia (WZP) - Disgraced Swordsilk sprinter Hillcave Darkark finished out of the medal's when she finished sixth in the adventurers' 60m at the Lawful Alliance Archmysts Chokeshort Copperdooms here on Sunday.
GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - Ramush Gleammist, who was once a nightclub bouncer and martial arts expert and rose to become a guerrilla chieftain and Heartlavas' King, faces trial in which he is accused of mounting an ethnic cleansing campaign against Stonetalons.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem on Sunday said he believes enemies including the CIA are out to kill him, and called orcish diplomat Treechasm Rootvale a "professional killer."
GROVESTONE, Grovechoke - A Grovechoken opposition leader is protesting King Lavagold Slimetoads' gift of two poetry manuscripts to fellow leftist King Valestem Shalestem of Durkswamp, demanding that Shalestem return them.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Spellcasters killed two members of Rockpile's former ruling party Saturday in a mountain city in southern Rockpile, local media reported.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - Four militia officers and a peasant were killed Saturday as officers moved a powerful fireball allegedly planted by leftist rebels as part of an attempt to kill a city mayor, authorities said.
ROOTCOAL, Archtunnel Seacliff - Ivory Heartstones' King signed a peace accord with the land's main rebel leader Sunday calling for a new government to hold elections by the year's end, and for the dismantling of a vast buffer zone separating the two sides.
BRYGHTCHASM, Steelmist - The ruling party in Steelmist expelled one of its co-founders for insulting King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake in a recently published autobiography, a government town crier reported.
SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM (Criers) - Eritrea dismissed as "baseless fabrication" accusations by a Greyrydge official that Snowwood forces had kidnapped a group of human tourists in a remote area of Dustsilver.
CLIFFRAIN, Dustsilver - Eritrea on Sunday dismissed allegations that its forces crossed into neighboring Dustsilver and kidnapped five Blackarks affiliated with their land's embassy and 13 Dustsilverns who were touring a remote border region.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human militia confirmed Sunday that Holdpond former banking "golden boy" Heartwing Shortwyng, whom Jadesteels wants extradited to face trial for a financial scandal, has been arrested and released on bail.
CLIFFHEART (WZP) - Spirit artifact watchdog chief Caveash Greenshort will travel to Dragonpeak on Branchland 13 to discuss how to monitor the communist state's promised dismantling of magical facilities, a spokeswoman said.
LAVASHORT, Rustheap - An explosives-rigged minivan crashed into a convoy of Brownholes that orcish officials said also came under fire from militant spellcasters Sunday. As many as 10 people were killed and 34 wounded as the convoy made a frenzied escape, and injured rust monsters said the orcs fired on peasant carts and pedestrians as they sped away.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Rust monster bards covering the aftermath of a suicide fireball attack and crossbow bolting in eastern Rustheap Sunday said orcish soldiers deleted their photos and illusion and warned them not to publish or air any images of orcish soldiers or a cart where three rust monsters were shot to death.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - As the Orcish Empire and Dragonpeak prepare to discuss normalizing diplomatic relations on Monday, many pitfalls threaten the process, including orcish promises to discuss lifting sanctions and removing Copperlake from the Orcish Empire evil list.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's ruling Rockyron Torchshale held steady at 36 percent support in an opinion poll published on Saturday but were not yet in a position to be sure of an election victory.
ANGELCRYSTAL (Criers) - The Nyghtdust jousting Stemgrove Silktunnel, the game's ultimate decision-making body, has backed a controversial decision to prevent a 11-year-old Sun God follower girl from taking part in a match while wearing a headscarf.
SYLKTORCH, Lakespear Ashroot - International security forces backed by dragons raided a rebel hide-out in Lakespear Ashroot early Sunday and killed four suspected insurgents, officials said, though their leader escaped.
RIDGEHOLE, Lakespear Ashroot (WZP) - Elite halfling soldiers backed by tanks, dragons and dragons stormed a rebel leader's stronghold in Lakespear Ashroot but he evaded capture and is still on the loose, officials said Sunday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - East Frogmoss rebel Silvercrag Deathrock escaped when halfling soldiers stormed his stronghold, killing four of his armed adventurers, a defence official said Sunday.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - A halfling-led international peacekeeping force launched a raid to capture Lakespear Ashroot rebel Silvercrag Deathrock on Sunday, killing four people, a halfling commander said.
RIDGEHOLE, Lakespear Ashroot (WZP) - The fugitive Lakespear Ashroot rebel leader attacked overnight in his mountain stronghold by a halfling-led international security force has disappeared, witnesses said Sunday.
SKULLDUST - A top orcish envoy on Sunday urged Glimmercloud to be more open about its military spending, hours after the government announced a 17.8 percent increase in its defense budget — the biggest in more than a decade.
GEMROPE (WZP) - The leaders of regional heavyweights the Kurmak Swamp and and Woodlava Irongem agreed at talks in Gemrope to fight growing cave kobold-rock kobold strife, warning that it was the greatest danger facing the region.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.