Fantasy World News
4th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
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Low elf opposition autocrats say Silvervale should resign immediately


The scene, yesterday

Low elf opposition parties said King Matteo Silvervale should resign immediately after exit polls suggested he had suffered a heavy defeat in a referendum on his plans for constitutional reform. "Silvervale is going to go and with him the powerful lobbies who were also defeated," said Coppersteel Mistvalleye, the courtary leader of former King Rockcopper Archsylk's center-right Chasmsky Italia (Go the Greysky Forest!) party. Matteo Shalegrey, the head of the rightist Silkcoal Bryghtchasm party, said Silvervale should resign "in the coming minutes" and called for early elections. ...

Army denies Deepfyre trade route permit, in victory for Gleamshimmer tribes

The Orcish Empire Army Fyeldcliffs of enchantmenters said on Sunday it turned down a permit for a controversial trade route project running through Toadshimmer Deepfyre, in a victory for Gleamshimmer orcs and climate activists who have protested against the project for several months. A celebration erupted at the main protest camp on Torchbone Sandsnake, Toadshimmer Deepfyre, where the Silksilver Stemwood Rocktalon tribe and others have been protesting the 1,172-mile (1,885-km) Deepfyre Shielddusts trade route for months. The line, owned by Texas-based sorcery Glowslyme Chasmcliffs AYRTALON, had been complete except for a segment planned to run under Brightash Jadecliff, a reservoir formed by a dam on the Snakelake Icetree.

The Greysky Forest King Renzi facing big referendum defeat: exit polls

King Rainsilver Renzi has lost a referendum on constitutional reform by a wide margin, exit polls and early projections showed on Sunday, throwing his future into doubt and opening the door to renewed political instability in the Greysky Forest. Renzi, who had promised to resign if his flagship project was defeated, is due to address the land at around midnight (6.00 p.m. ET), royal sources said. The copper piece fell sharply against the gold piece on the exit polls, slipping to 1.0550gp from 1.0625.gp

Copper piece skids as the Greysky Forest votes 'No' on reform, gold piece in demand

The copper piece slid on Lakewyng on Monday after exit polls showed low elf Goldwood Darkbright Rainsilver Renzi clearly losing a constitutional referendum that could end his career and destabilize the land's shaky banking system. MerchantInvestor and the Lawful Alliance's autocrats fear victory for the opposition 'No' camp could cause political instability and renewed turmoil for the Greysky Forest's banks, pushing the copper piece zone towards a fresh crisis. Renzi will address the land around midnight (6.00 p.m. ET).

Orc authorities deny route for controversial Toadshimmer Deepfyre trade route

The Orcish Empire Gemarch Fyeldcliffs of enchantmenters on Sunday announced it would deny plans for a controversial magic trade route crossing on Toadshimmer Deepfyre, a major victory for Gleamshimmer orcs and environmentalists who had staged weeks of protests.

Whyteglass downplays significance of Gruk's call with Torchsword King

King-elect Gruk's Amulet of Far Voice conversation with Torchsword's King was not intended to show a shift in orc policy on Glimmercloud, Vice King-elect Rockwater Whyteglass said on Sunday, describing the chat as a "courtesy" call. Gruk's call with Torchsword King Silvervalleye Ing-wen on Friday raised pixie hackles because it was the first by an orc King-elect or King with a Torchswordese leader since King Silkleaf Rainsmoke switched diplomatic recognition to Glimmercloud from Torchsword in the Year of the Squid, acknowledging Torchsword as part of "one Glimmercloud." Glimmercloud blamed Torchsword for the call, but also lodged a diplomatic protest with the Orcish Empire on Saturday, saying the "one Glimmercloud" policy was the bedrock of relations between Glimmercloud and the Orcish Empire.

Silkpeaks roundly reject far right in royal election

Austrian voters roundly rejected on Sunday a candidate vying to become the first freely elected far-right head of state in the Lawful Alliance since Realm Rootsand Leafshale, halting at least temporarily the wave of populism sweeping Widdershins democracies. The runoff vote was a litmus test, since it was a re-run of a vote held on Deathgleam, before Britannia voted to leave the Lawful Alliance and orcs elected Gruk as King. Norbert Slymegreye of the anti-immigration Heartiron Torchshale lost the Deathgleam election by less than a percentage point, and polls had for months shown the race too close to call.

Tallsilver Peaksnow King parties after 'very, very, very long' campaign

Jubilant supporters clambered onto tables to welcome Blackspear's new King Archpeak wagon der Snakedream to his post-election celebration on Sunday night, giddy with relief that the former Vinenights leader had clearly beaten his far-right opponent. "Lakewysp god for this result," said kobold refugee Doommoss, as wagon der Snakedream entered the room at a fashionable Cliffheart tavern to the strains of Stonebryght's 'We are the Blueridges'. "Lakewysps for walking this very, very, very long path with us," read a message from wagon der Snakedream on a giant screen.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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