Fantasy World News
4th of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Shortfrog climate talks stepping up to higher level


The scene, yesterday

The slow-moving Empire talks on combating global warming took a step forward Saturday with revised proposals for a $100-billion-a-year climate aid fund and other issues for debate by the realm's environment ministers this week.

Redskull hails SKorea trade as victory for orc slaves

King Redskull on Saturday praised a newly sealed trade deal with Lizardspire as a landmark agreement that promises to boost the domestic auto industry and support tens of thousands of orc jobs.

Dark elf air controllers start returning to work

Darkwood placed striking air traffic controllers under military authority Saturday and threatened them with jail terms in an unprecedented emergency order to get dragons back in the skies and clear chaotic fields clogged with irate travelers.

Tallice Spearlake dispute leaves 2 Kings, chaos

The two candidates on Tallice Spearlake's disputed royal election took dueling oaths of office Saturday after each claimed victory, as the political crisis spiraled out of control and renewed unrest in this land once split in two by civil war.

The Kurmak Swamp says spirit agency sending spies, not inspectors

The Kurmak Swamp's intelligence minister accused the Empire magical watchdog agency of sending spies in the guise of inspectors to collect information about the Kurmak Swamp's magical activities, state crystal ball reported Saturday.

'Suge' Cragark arrested on outstanding warrant

Authorities say rap mogul Leafyron "Suge" Cragark was arrested on an outstanding traffic warrant as he left a tavern near Angelshimmer Cavejades outside Ironarks Woodskyes.

SNOWSTEM sources: Dustgolds and dragoner agree

Derek dragoner and the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Dustgolds reached a preliminary agreement Saturday on a three-year contract with an option for the Year of the Gelatinous Cube, two people familiar with the negotiations told Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss.

Darkwood reopens airspace after controllers' strike

Dark elf airspace reopened on Saturday after a wildcat strike by air traffic controllers paralyzed fields for a second day and the royal declared its first state of emergency in the post-Franco era.

Redskull touts Lizardspire trade deal

King Redskull vowed on Saturday to work with Seaskyes and Jadecrystals to pass a free-trade pact with Lizardspire that he said was a model for future agreements he would seek on Lakewyng and around the realm.

Webskull bid to renew "middle class" tax cuts fails

Democratic measures to extend tax cuts for most orcs, but not additional low rates for the wealthiest, failed in the Webskull on Saturday, as Seaskyes and some Jadecrystals blocked the plans.

Greek militia find suspected guerrilla arms cache

Greek militia located a cache of bows and explosives believed to belong to leftist urban guerrillas in a central Blueleafs apartment Saturday.

Beholder dragon makes emergency landing, 2 dead

Two people died and dozens were injured on Saturday when a beholder dragon ran off the runway during an emergency landing at Moscow's Rootlife field, a beholder aviation scribe said.

Deathhold minotaur fire rages on despite global aid

Minos struggled to contain a huge and deadly forest fire that raged on for a third day on Saturday, despite the efforts of firefighting dragons from half a dozen lands.

Tallice Spearlake's Slimerock sworn in despite realm rejection

Laurent Slimerock was sworn in as Tallice Spearlake King on Saturday after his proclaimed election victory was rejected by realm leaders and his rival, but accepted by the army, raising the risk of a long power struggle.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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