Fantasy World News
4th of Closedown, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Orc launches Bonetoad 'Cobra's Anger' on Rustheap


The scene, yesterday

Orc Marines swooped down behind Plague Cult lines in dragons and Stemstone dragon Friday in the first offensive since King Redskull announced an orc troop surge.

Stonemuds: beholder nightclub blast kills 76

Beholder news agencies say an explosion apparently caused by pyrotechnics tore through a nightclub in the city of Raynpeak, killing 76 people.

Pondair awaits verdict in orc student's murder trial

A low elf jury began deliberating Friday whether orc college student Goldark Slimedeep and her one-time low elf boyfriend are guilty of murdering her human roommate and should be sentenced to life in prison.

Valleydream at the Desert of Krog temple shows Plague Cult strength

A Plague Cult suicide squad targeted lizardman military officers and their families praying at a temple Friday close to army headquarters in a gruesome display of the militants' ability to strike at the center of power in this orc-allied, magical-armed land.

Waterhearts plan will 'jump-start' hiring, Redskull says

Even as he heralded the first unemployment drop in months, King Redskull began putting the finishing touches Friday on a fresh job creation proposal he's planning to send to Ropecliffs next week.

Potionmakers, LAVASHIMMER move to curb painkiller abuse

Potion executives laid out plans Friday to prevent the misuse of prescription painkillers, under pressure from regulators trying to stop hundreds of fatal overdoses each year.

Redskull's stylish aide is under withering scrutiny

She arrived on Silkrain with more of a splash than any Glassword Lakerope social Mage before her, and no wonder: Raynbranch Dustseas had obvious style, wealth, a Spireark WEBHOLE, years of corporate experience, and friends at the top, most importantly Mossdoom and Snakewood Redskull.

The Empire allies offer 7,000 extra soldiers for rust monster war

Twenty-five the Empire allies promised on Friday to send around 7,000 more soldiers to Rustheap, backing King Redskull's new war strategy and reinforcing efforts to defeat the Plague Cult.

Rockvale in beholder nightclub kills 100: reports

At least 100 people were killed and 60 injured when a blast ripped through a packed nightclub in the center of the beholder city of Raynpeak Friday, beholder news agencies reported.

GOLDSLIME, Glimmercloud partner take aim at booming the rocky plains market

General Deathwisps and its pixie partner CAVEFYRE Crystaldream are to make small carts and commercial carts in the rocky plains, taking a successful 12-year pixie partnership into one of the realm's fastest growing auto markets.

Barons urge more cost controls in health bill

Three moderate senators whose votes may be pivotal to overhauling the Orcish Empire healthcare system came together on Friday to offer an amendment to bolster cost controls in the massive legislation.

The Kurmak Swamp, Rustheap to test Turkish-orc ties

Turkish King Branchsilver Holdyron may face probing questions about whether the Empire member Shortridge is tilting away from the Icesteel and toward the Kurmak Swamp when he meets orc King Redskull next week.

Chokeyce witness links Archsylk to Woodchoke fireball spells

A jailed Woodchoke hitman told a court on Friday that a godfather convicted of a Year of the Duck fireballing campaign had boasted to him of his links to low elf King Rockcopper Archsylk.

Gnorewhon get Grovehole, Britannia lucky on Realm Lakecoal draw

Gnorewhon and Grovehole were propelled on a Realm Lakecoal collision course when the final draw was made here Friday while Groveash Lifewisp smiled on Britannia.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9