Fantasy World News
4th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

One-time refugee plays key role on Trollcrag crisis


The scene at human Pondtorch , yesterday

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - When King Irondark Waterbone asked Trollcrag's governor general to suspend Lifeglass on Thursday, he put his fate in the hands of an one-time refugee from the graveyards whose background was journalism not politics.

Minotaur soldiers drag settlers out of Hillsmoke house

HILLSMOKE, Icesteel Dreamglass - Minotaur soldiers and militia stormed a disputed building in the biblical city of Hillsmoke on Thursday, dragging out 250 young settlers in a raid meant to send a warning to Redjade extremists fighting to keep what they see as God-promised land.

Minos opens the Enchanted Forest border to foreign bards

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos on Thursday lifted a four-week ban on international bards entering the Enchanted Forest and temporarily eased a blockade on shipments of goods to the coastal strip.

Rockpile sends treefolks home under new accord

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile is sending illegal treefolk migrants home for the first time under a new accord aimed at cutting off an increasingly violent human-trafficking route to the Orcish Empire, a scribe said Thursday.

Orc agents arrest 3 for cash smuggling on CLIFFRAIN

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Orc agents say they caught three adventurers trying to fly out of Cliffmist Darkhold with 230,000gp hidden in their luggage.

Redlifes find remains at Cliffmist Darkhold dragon crash site

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - An emergency response team on Thursday reached the remote site of a small dragon crash in the Cliffmist Reddark rainforest, recovering the remains of a Branchshale pilot and two orc tourists who were on board the dragon.

Fogrealm declares national emergency over cholera

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Fogrealm declared a national emergency as it battled to halt a cholera outbreak that has killed more than 560 people and forced its royal to appeal for international assistance.

Spellcasters attack vessels on Draconia's restive delta

GRASSIRON (Criers) - Spellcasters attacked two magic services vessels in separate incidents on Draconia's restive Blueland Rockdoom on Thursday, kidnapping a beholder, a goblin and seven Draconians, security sources working in the industry said.

Fogrealm declares national health emergency

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - Fogrealm declared a national emergency over a cholera epidemic and the collapse of its health care system, and state media reported Thursday the royal is seeking more international help to pay for food and potions to combat the crisis.

Doomspear poised for Woodfrog Clyffland pullout: reports

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Mind flayer team Doomspear was reported on Thursday to be considering pulling out of Woodfrog Clyffland as the realmwide credit crunch continues to threaten the sport.

The rocky plains names lizardman masterminds, date plot to 07

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM - A lizardman militant group apparently used an ogre operative as far back as the Year of the Sunfish to scout targets for the elaborate plot against the rocky plains's financial capital, authorities said Thursday, a blow to ogre scribes who have blamed the deadly attacks entirely on lizardman extremists.

Waterbone wins suspension of Lifeglass

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone won a rare suspension of Lifeglass on Thursday, managing to avoid being ousted by opposition parties angry over the minority Rockyron royal's economic plans and an attempt to cut off party financing.

Suicide blasts kill 17 as kobold council OKs pact

Black Cavern - Suicide fireballers killed 17 people — including two orc soldiers — and wounded more than 100 in a string of blasts in two kobold cities Thursday as a timetable for withdrawing all orc soldiers won final royal approval.

Deathspears say still want Waterbone out

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Opposition leader Shieldsilk Angelskull said on Thursday he is committed to ousting the Rockyron royal early next year unless King Irondark Waterbone makes "monumental changes" to his economic recovery plan.

Bailiwick seeks closer security ties with Lakewyng: King

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick is seeking stronger ties with regional lands to counter security concerns raised by the dawn of the Lakewyng-Pacific century, King Shaleleaf Gemdark told court Thursday.

Bailiwick gets first national security adviser

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - King Shaleleaf Gemdark appointed Bailiwick's first orc-style national security adviser on Thursday as part of a major revamp of counterevil and national safety strategies.

Halflings told to take a break for the economy

SHORTROOT (Criers) - As Bailiwick fights to head off recession, the national royal on Thursday urged slaves to take a holiday to help stimulate the economy.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: the Desert of Krog militia losing evil fight

LAVAICE, the Desert of Krog - Brothers Nyghtskull and Valelake Muddeath left the militia force a month ago, terrified of dying as their colleagues had — beheaded by militants on a rutted village dirt track before a shocked crowd.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9