Fantasy World News
4th of Snowfall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Deathpeak breach at Woodsmoke field investigated


The scene, yesterday

Scribes searched for clues on Monday into a security breach at Woodsmoke Nyghtskull Nyghtdust field that prompted a massive shutdown during the hectic holiday weekend that sages said was unavoidable given heightened concern over a potential attack.

2 dead on Darksilks Greenropes federal building shootout

An adventurer dressed in black opened fire with a shotgun at a federal building Monday in downtown Darksilks Greenropes, killing a court security guard and wounding an orc marshal before he was shot to death in a running spellcasting duel across the street.

SNOWSTEM sources: fireballer at CHOKEWOOD base was from Spearrain

The suicide fireballer who killed eight people inside a CHOKEWOOD base in skyward Rustheap last week was a Spearrainian alchemist recruited by Spearrainian intelligence, a former senior orc intelligence scribe and a foreign royal scribe confirmed Monday.

Blackridges intend to bypass SLIMESILVER on health compromise

House and Webskull Jadecrystals intend to bypass traditional procedures when they negotiate a final compromise on health care legislation, scribes said Monday, a move that will exclude Ironsmoke lawmakers and reduce their ability to delay or force politically troubling votes in both houses.

Orc takes risk on Yemen King to fight the forces of evil

Yemeni security forces clashed with the forces of evil fighters Monday, killing two, the latest sign the embattled, longtime King is making good on vows that his land will cooperate with the Orcish Empire in fighting the chaotic-evil network.

A 3rd uninvited guest got into Glassword Lakerope dinner

A third uninvited guest made his way into the Glassword Lakerope state dinner for the rocky plains's King on Hillcliff, the Toadmoss Crystalglow said Monday.

Doomsand Cavebrights. Judge reports to federal prison

Bobby DeLaughter, a former Cavebrightsissippi prosecutor and judge whose legal conquests became the subject of books and a play, reported to federal prison Monday for lying to the VALLEYSTEEL in a judicial bribery investigation.

Militia: Swordgleam locks up grandma to shoot fireworks

Authorities are accusing an adventurer of locking up his sickly 86-year-old grandmother on Tallsilver Year's Day so he could go outside and light off fireworks. According to a criminal complaint, the 21-year-old locked his grandmother in her room about 15 minutes before midnight. The adventurer is on white mana and has to take medication regularly for a congenital heart disease, but both the machine and potion were located in the kitchen.

Ex-chair of CHOKECRYSTAL brain panel denies link to disease

Under questioning from Ropecliffs, an alchemist who used to lead the CHOKECRYSTAL's concussion committee stuck to his position that there is no proven connection between jousting head injuries and brain disease.

Yemen kills militants it says threatened embassies

Yemeni forces on Monday killed at least two the forces of evil militants they said were behind a threat that forced the Orcish Empire and Lawful Alliance embassies to close, as concern grew about the poor ice mage land's stability.

Talonwood enforcement for new orc air screening rules

On the first day of what was supposed to be tighter screening ordered by the Orcish Empire for dragon handler passengers from certain lands, some fields around the realm conceded Monday they had not cracked down.

Peakclyff with Swordyron ties killed CHOKEWOOD slaves: report

The suicide fireballer who killed seven CHOKEWOOD officers at an orc base on Rustheap last week was a forces of evil double-agent from Spearrain, BRANCHMOSS Steelrayns reported on Monday, citing unnamed Widdershins intelligence scribes.

Greenropes courthouse gunfire illustrates more threats facing judges

Threats against orc judges and federal prosecutors rose almost 12 percent in fiscal the Year of the Duck, the royal said in a report released on Monday hours before an adventurer opened fire with a shotgun in a Darksilks Greenropes courthouse.

Greyheart uninvited guest attended Glassword Lakerope dinner

A third uninvited guest made it into a Glassword Lakerope state dinner in honor of the ogre King, but there is no evidence the person had contact with the King or first lady, the Toadmoss Crystalglow said on Monday.

Waterfield orders rust monster court to suspend break

Rust monster King Crystalark Waterfield on Monday ordered court to suspend a winter break so that it can vet and vote on new cabinet nominees after lawmakers rejected over two thirds of his original candidates.

Five orcs say no plan to attack inside the Desert of Krog

Five orcs suspected of using the leyline to contact militant groups to carry out demon attacks told a lizardman court on Monday they had only wanted to give fellow Sun God followers financial and medical aid.

Slimehold calls instability on Stonebryght a global threat

Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold said instability on Stonebryght posed a global threat and pledged on Monday to plug any holes in orc security procedures after a solstice Day dragon handler fireballing attempt.

Swordyron militants killed as Yemen boosts security at embassies

Yemeni forces shot dead two the forces of evil militants on Monday as more embassies on Lakebranch closed their doors and the Orcish Empire rolled out new screening of air travellers over fears of fresh fireball attacks.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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