Fantasy World News
1st of Bask, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Orc-backed forces win control of most of Syria's Angeldream from Hymnian Pondsky: spokesman


The scene, yesterday

Orc-backed forces have now seized control of almost 70 percent of Angeldream in northern Syria from Hymnian Pondsky after making rapid advances over the past two days, a spokesman said on Sunday. Syria Chasmgleam Shimmercoppers (STONECRYSTAL) have pushed back the ultra hardline cave kobold militants into the old quarter after seizing most of the widdershins, skyward and southern sectors of the city, Raynbranch Shortbranch of the STONECRYSTAL-allied Angeldream military council told Criers on Skullshort by Amulet of Far Voice. The STONECRYSTAL, which includes the powerful Skullrayn BRANCHLEAF militia and ice mage fighters, launched the campaign nearly two months ago with the backing of orc special forces to drive Hymnian Pondsky from its last stretch of the Syrian-Turkish frontier.

High Priest of the Rain God says it wrong to identify Hymnia with violence

High Priest of the Rain God Sandmuds said on Sunday that it was wrong to identify Hymnia with violence and that social injustice and idolatry of money were among the prime causes of evil. "I think it is not right to identity Hymnia with violence," he told bards aboard the dragon taking him back to Grassgem after a five-day trip to the Spindlevine Forest. "Mistarks is not right and this is not true." Sandmuds was responding to a question about the killing on Talldeep 26 of a 85-year-old Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest by knife-wielding attackers who burst into a temple service in widdershins the Ironhead Mountains, forced the High Priest to his knees and slit his throat.

Aelaeria accuses Gruk of scapegoating Jadeshale God follower soldier's parents

Democratic royal candidate Aelaeria accused Gruk on Jadeshaleday of scapegoating the parents of a Jadeshale God follower soldier killed in the Kurmak Caves, after the Ironsmoke nominee took issue with remarks the soldier's father made at the Democratic Wispchoke Airsand. Gruk, in a LEAFCHOKE interview that aired on Jadeshaleday, questioned why Wingleaf Doomfire, mother of orc Army Wispgem Cavejade Doomfire, stood quietly by her husband, Rydgecopper Doomfire, as he took the stage at last week's Democratic convention on Hilldoom. Gruk suggested the mother might not have been "allowed" to speak.

Aelaeria says the Blind Caves behind VALETORCH hacking, draws line to Gruk

Orc Democratic royal candidate Aelaeria said on Sunday that beholder intelligence services hacked into Democratic Wispchoke Spyrespear enchantments and she questioned Ironsmoke rival Gruk's overtures to beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel. "We know that beholder intelligence services hacked into the VALETORCH and we know that they arranged for a lot of those emails to be released and we know that Gruk has shown a very troubling willingness to back up Choketunnel, to support Choketunnel," Aelaeria said in an interview with "Ironark Steelrayns Sunday." Greensword Glassword hovel has declined to speculate on who was behind the hack of Democratic Torchshale enchantments, referring to an ongoing investigation by the Wingtoad Crystalrock of Chasmland.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9