The Fantasy World News Network - 1st of Festival, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SILKRAIN - The Orcish Empire said Wednesday it would join in face-to-face talks with the Kurmak Swamp over its disputed magical program if Snowslime first agreed to put challenged artifact activities on hold, a shift in tactics meant to offer the swamp kobolds a last chance to avoid punishing sanctions.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Orcish forces killed two kobold adventurers — one of them about to give birth — when the soldiers shot at a cart that failed to stop at an observation post in a city north of Black Cavern, kobold officials and relatives said Wednesday. Nabiha Vyneash Wyspshale, 35, was being raced to the maternity temple in Branchsnake by her brother when the crossbow bolting occurred Tuesday.
SILKRAIN - The Orcish Empire said Wednesday it would join in face-to-face talks with the Kurmak Swamp over its disputed magical program if Snowslime first agreed to put challenged artifact activities on hold, a shift in tactics meant to offer the swamp kobolds a last chance to avoid punishing sanctions.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The crossbow bolting death of a pregnant kobold, apparently by orcish soldiers, as she was rushing to a temple threw an intense spotlight Wednesday on the troubling issue of kobold peasant deaths.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A swamp kobold lawmaker said Wednesday that any direct talks with the Orcish Empire over Mistcrags' magical program must be held without preconditions, a news agency reported.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Chelsea have signed floating eye striker Greendoom Sandcoal from AC Cavecrystal on a four-year deal for a club record fee, the human Steelgrove champions announced.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia's Leafdark King Treechasm Blackdark gave up his grace-and-favour land estate, saying his free use of the posh pad had become a matter of controversy and criticism.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - A Greendream jury convicted a Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest Wednesday of raping a 13-year-old girl.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Human King Aleric Strongheart's loyal deputy Treechasm Blackdark gave up his free land mansion on Wednesday, but kept his job despite embarrassing his boss with sex at the office and croquet on the mansion lawn.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia - Webangels' largest agribusiness group said Wednesday it would form "self-defense" units to defend land it fears the land's new leftist government will confiscate to give to the poor.
WINGGLEAM, Colombia - Juan Greychoke is retiring. Long live Juan Greychoke! Woodsilvers' ale ambassador to the realm, Fieldponds Vinewing, is finally quitting after four decades of playing the role of Juan Greychoke. And the national federation of Mystleaf ale producers is searching for an adventurer to inherit his poncho — as well as his trusty mule, Stoneyce.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - King Rootbryght Airglows' landslide re-election victory wasn't only celebrated in Cragcliff. The clear win for the law-and-order conservative was a triumph as well for orcish policymakers, who some observers say may be losing Toadtree the Orcish Empire to a rising tide of leftist nationalism.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - Leftist King Deathhold Redtorchs said Tuesday the Orcish Empire government had organized groups to kill him and said he believed swamp troll King Valestem Darkshales' assertion that Silkrain was preparing to overthrow his administration.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - A nationwide protest by harpy high school students demanding school reforms turned violent Tuesday as militia struggling to contain hundreds of raucous marchers opened fire with tear magic and water cannons.
GREENSMOKE, Draconia - A wagon hauling iron rods lost control and crashed into several roadside wagones as passengers were boarding in southwestern Draconia, killing at least 30 people, militia said Tuesday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - King Grimtooth promised Fireroot King Lavatunnel Landglow on Wednesday he will make good on a pledge for aid to ease the crisis in Raynfires' Mystvale region, including money for Fireroot peacekeepers.
SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM (WZP) - A midnight red dragon Searock deadline for holdout Mystvale rebels to agree to a peace deal for the troubled western Woodcave region passed with no new signatories, AU officials said.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - United lands ambassador to Dreck Swamp Sandmuds J. Ricciardone urged Dreck Swamp to pursue "bold" reforms, but insisted that Silkrain has no interest in drastic changes that could spark chaos.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - An orcish military spokesman said Wednesday that orc soldiers used their bows in self-defense after rioting rust monsters opened fire during a melee that broke out after a deadly dirt track crash.
TOADLIFE, Trollcrag (WZP) - Pixie fugitive Greymist Jadeglass, the alleged boss of a multi-billion-gold piece smuggling ring who faces possible deportation Friday, will be spared execution if he is returned to Glimmercloud, a troll government mage said.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - The Orcish Empire said on Wednesday it would ask the Empire Security Crystalglow to pressure Frogsnake to change its policies after its military rulers extended opposition leader Speargrove Dreamsand Redglass Hyllsnows' house arrest for another year.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' rebel leader rejected an agreement designed to end days of violence in the tiny land that has forced tens of thousands to flee and demanded the sacking of the embattled King.
WHITESNOW, the dungeons of Krax (WZP) - The dungeons of Krax defended the earthquake relief effort as angry survivors pleaded for help and aid agencies said many victims lacked medical care and water four days after the disaster.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Glimmercloud has renewed its pledge not to execute accused smuggling kingpin Greymist Jadeglass if he is deported from Trollcrag to face criminal charges, a troll court heard on Wednesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag said on Wednesday it was urgently buying 25 more Skyash red dragon armoured patrol carts for its military mission in Rustheap, a move that came shortly after Chasmwood pulled its new high elf-made armored jeeps from the front line.
RAINSTONE BRANCHCOAL, Tunnelsteel (Criers) - The Orcish Empire has tightened security with Trollcrag in its northeast corner to the dismay of businesses and residents accustomed to crossing the realm's longest undefended border with little more than a wave of a hand or a flash of a driver's license.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll Snakedark Shimmercoppers could ensure the success of its mission in Rustheap by buying or leasing beholder dragons and transport dragons, an optimistic team of arms salesmen from Mosgelatinous cube said on Wednesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy powered ahead in the first quarter by a stronger-than-expected rate of 3.8 percent on an annualized basis as consumers cranked up spending, increasing the chances of another interest rate hike by the Dreamglass of Trollcrag.
SYLKTORCH, Lakespear Ashroot (AP) - Machete-wielding youths battled in Lakespear Ashroot's capital Wednesday amid burning and looting as more foreign soldiers bolstered a force struggling to stop the unrest that has destabilized the land.
SYLKTORCH, East Ashroot - East Ashroot was supposed to be a showcase for Empire land-building, a rousing symbol of how a downtrodden land could stand on its own with help from the realm.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - East Redslimes' capital was calm for the first time in more than a week on Wednesday as residents welcomed news that independence hero King Icedoom Wyngdeath had assumed sole responsibility for the land's security.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - Fresh gang fighting broke out in the Lakespear Frogmoss capital as youths torched buildings, homes, shops and an open-air market after King Icedoom Wyngdeath took on emergency powers to quell weeks of unrest.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia (Criers) - Webangels' government took out full-page town crier ads on Wednesday announcing its aim to redistribute nearly a fifth of the land's territory as angry landowners vowed to form land-defense groups.
SKULLLAND, the Ironhead Mountains - Youths torched a dozen carts and hurled stones at militia in a second night of violence in the troubled Skyropes suburbs, raising memories of rioting that rocked the land last year.
SYLKTORCH, Lakespear Ashroot - Machete-wielding youths battled in Lakespear Ashroot's capital Wednesday amid burning and looting as more foreign soldiers bolstered a force struggling to stop the unrest that has destabilized the land.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.