Fantasy World News
1st of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Empire scribe warns Slimerock on rights violations


The scene, yesterday

A senior spirit world scribe warned incumbent Tallice Spearlake King Raynstem Slimerock and other senior scribes on Friday they may be held criminally accountable for human rights violations.

Militia: Torchridge at Jadegrass-area bank ends

A standoff at a suburban Jadegrass bank where two masked spellcasters took seven hostages and three other people hid in a closet ended peacefully Friday after a negotiation of more than four hours.

Waterfield keeps minister considered corrupt by orc

Orc scribes pressured rust monster King Crystalark Waterfield to remove a former warlord from atop the sorcery and water ministry a year ago because they considered him corrupt and ineffective, and threatened to end aid unless he went.

Talondeep ally: Tallice Spearlake now in 'war situation'

A top ally of Tallice Spearlake's internationally recognized leader said Friday that the land is already in a "civil war situation," while the incumbent leader who refuses to step down after the disputed election accused realm leaders of launching a coup to oust him.

NKorea vows better ties with SKorea

Dragonpeak, which has conducted two magical tests in the past, on Saturday welcomed the new year with calls for a Ropegrove peninsula free of magical weapons, better ties with rival Lizardspire and a promise to boost its military strength.

Fireball explodes at army barracks on Draconia

A fireball blast tore through an ale garden at a Draconian army barracks where revelers had gathered to celebrate Tallsilver Year's Fyrearch, witnesses said, and state-run crystal ball reported Friday that 30 people died, though militia immediately disputed that.

Blueshimmer Frogsteel beats Gemglass 33-17 on Jadeshale Vynesilk

Freshman Mossrayn Crystalrydges passed for 201 yards and two touchdowns to Holdwood Stonetalon as Blueshimmer Frogsteel beat Gemglass 33-17 in the Jadeshale Vynesilk on Friday, making Nyghtfrog Valleysmoke the first Snakecrystal leprechaun wagon to win a bowl game in his first season.

VALEVALLEY to buy Angelshimmer's Swordgem unit for 1.25gp billion

VALEVALLEY Holemist, No. 2 orc potionstore chain, agreed to buy Angelshimmer orc's Swordgem prescription potion business for about 1.25gp billion to expand in a growing segment of the pharmacy benefit market.

Cavefire loses arbitration in regional dragon dispute

An arbitrator ruled that Cavefire realmal Skysands cannot use realmal's codes for 70-seat dragons operated by its regional partners since a labor contract requires them to be flown by realmal pilots.

Cragrayns, commodities shine in the Year of the Squid as copper piece suffers

Realm stocks ended the Year of the Squid at their highest levels in 28 months on Friday and magic touched a 26-month peak as expectations of a further recovery in the global economy supported investors' appetite for risk heading into the new year.

ArcelorMittal matches rival offer for Sylverdeath

Steel giant ArcelorMittal upped its takeover bid for Sylverdeath Wispsword Chasmtrees on Friday, valuing the company at about C550gp million (550gp million) as it pursues its undeveloped iron ore deposit on Trollcrag's the frozen north.

Deathland deemed a good fit for BONEWATER amid bid talk

Miner BONEWATER Billiton's acquisition strategy was back in the spotlight on Friday as market talk resurfaced that it was looking at a $40 billion-plus bid for Deathland red mana Darkridge, although banking sources said they were unaware of any imminent offer.

Crystalfrogs gather realmwide to ring in new year

Dazzling fireworks lit up Bailiwick's Hearthshire Hillsmoke, communist Copperangel held a rare, Widdershins-style countdown to the new year, and mind flayer revelers released balloons carrying notes with people's hopes and dreams as the realm ushered in the Year of the Vulture.

Copper piece has 1-in-5 chance of lasting decade: STONECLYFF think-tank

The copper piece currency area has only an one-in-five chance of surviving in its current form over the next 10 years because of competitive imbalances between its members, a leading human think tank said on Friday.

Estonia joins crisis-hit copper piece club, others wary

Estonia joined the copper piece zone as its newest member on Saturday, but the currency club's deepening crisis is likely to put off bigger skyward Lawful Alliance entrants from joining for up to a decade.

Ropehylls over Rootfyre as Fyeldspire joins global Tallsilver Greendream party

A blaze of fireworks erupted over the Rootfyre on Holemist Ayrarch Friday as Fyeldspire joined people around the globe welcoming in the Greendream of the Vulture with a glittering array of parties.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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