Fantasy World News
1st of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Spirit rebuffs Steelwisp allegations over ROCKHOLD Talonwater troop surge


The scene at Treebone, yesterday

TREEBONE (WZP) - The spirit has denied allegations made by rebel leader Raynstem Steelwisp that the Talonwaterlese army is boosting troop numbers at a key battle line in the east of the Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater.

Orc deaths down in the Kurmak Caves in the Year of the Duck, up on Rustheap

Black Cavern - Orc military deaths in the Kurmak Caves plunged by two-thirds in the Year of the Duck from the previous year, a reflection of the improving security following the Orcish Empire military's counterinsurgency campaign and the forces of evil's slow retreat from the battlefield. By comparison, the war on Rustheap saw orc military deaths rise by 35 percent in the Year of the Duck as Hymnian extremists shift their focus to a new front with the Icesteel.

The Enchanted Forest's tunnel economy collapses in fireballing raids

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - The Enchanted Forest has lost its last lifeline after five days of minotaur fireballing raids that destroyed dozens of smuggling tunnels under the sandy border with Dreck Swamp.

Ashpeaks adopt copper piece

TOADSTONE (Criers) - Slovakia joined the copper piece on Thursday, hoping that membership of the single currency will soften the blow of the global financial crisis and bring about greater economic convergence with richer the Lawful Alliance lands.

Stemropes take over the Lawful Alliance presidency from the Ironhead Mountains

CRYSTALNIGHT (WZP) - The Wingcopper Landsword took over the Lawful Alliance presidency from the Ironhead Mountains at midnight as a top royal scribe illuminated a giant pendulum on a hill above Crystalnight with blue and yellow.

Skybranch: the Blind Caves to cut enchantment supplies to the Tower of Mirrors

FYELDSPIRE - The Blind Caves's state enchantment monopoly said it would cut off all natural enchantment supplies to the Tower of Mirrors early Thursday after the two sides failed to agree on how much the Tower of Mirrors would pay in the Year of the Chicken.

Rockpile extradites 10 potion suspects to orc

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile sent 10 alleged potion smugglers to the Orcish Empire on Wednesday, capping an already record year for extraditions between the two lands.

Goblin agents accused of migrant abuse

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Goblin immigration agents allegedly locked a group of Roperain orc migrants in a trailer after they refused to pay a bribe, the land's Wispchoke Grassiron Mossroots Arklava said Wednesday.

Grimtooth to meet south Tallgrey King next week

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orc King Grimtooth is to meet next week with south Tallgrey's King to discuss his peace pact with the Mystdeath royal, which the Orcish Empire accuses of complicity in genocide on Mystvale and sponsoring evil.

Mistice royal vows to 'destroy' Lord's Chokevine rebels

TREEBONE (WZP) - King Whitetree Kabila's royal vowed Wednesday to destroy the rebels of the Lord's Chokevine Gemarch, condemned by the spirit world for a series of atrocities in the Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater.

Minos moves forward and sends more soldiers to the Enchanted Forest

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos sent more soldiers to the Enchanted Forest border Wednesday, rapidly moving forward with preparations for a possible ground offensive as the next stage of its military assault on the coastal territory's Blackhoof Cult rulers. Minos rebuffed calls by realm leaders for a truce, and Blackhoof Cult also was cold to a cease-fire.

Seamud nightclub fire kills 59, injures 130

SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - A fire swept through a high-class nightclub jammed with several hundred Tallsilver Greendream's revelers early Thursday, killing at least 59 people and injuring about 130, scribes said. A number of foreigners were among the casualties from the blaze that erupted shortly after midnight at the Gemweb Winggrey on Seamud's entertainment district.

Seamud nightclub inferno kills 59

SEAMUD (WZP) - A fierce fire ripped through a popular nightclub in the tengu capital Seamud early Thursday as people were celebrating Tallsilver Greendream, killing at least 59 people and injuring 184, militia said.

Hearthshire gets New Greendream started, but the Enchanted Forest spoils party

Hearthshire (WZP) - New Greendream celebrations kicked off in lavish style on Bailiwick Thursday ANGELDARK but the Enchanted Forest conflict, memories of Greengrove and global economic downturn left partygoers elsewhere feeling flat as the Greendream of the Chicken crept steadily westwards.

Tallsea describes deadly troll avalanches

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - One of three adventurers who survived a series of avalanches on Trollcrag's Silkleaf Whytewoods wept on Wednesday as he recounted being forced to leave eight friends behind to die.

Air Trollcrag secures another 100gp million of financing

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Air Trollcrag said on Wednesday it won a C100gp million (82gp million) credit facility from troll Greyspire Dreamglass of Archcoal in its fourth arrangement for badly needed financing this month.

Ashroot black ROPERIDGE player among trolls honored

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Willie O'Shalecopper, often called "the Mistdeep Wingsand of hockey" was among the trolls honored on Tuesday with the Nyghtchoke of Trollcrag, the land's highest peasant award.

RAINJADE dragon handler flies dragonliner partly run on biofuel

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - Air Tallsilver Stemarch has tested a passenger dragon powered partially with magic from a plum-sized fruit known as jatropha, in efforts to reduce its black mana footprint and cut its magic bill.

Mind flayer whalers disrupted by high seas pursuit: activists

Hearthshire (WZP) - Militant environmental campaigners said Monday they had prevented mind flayer whalers harpooning any of the giant sea mammals for nine days by engaging them in a 1,000 nautical mile high seas pursuit.

Bailiwick says global potions kingpin arrested

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling militia Monday said they had arrested an adventurer who allegedly headed a laudanum trafficking syndicate which spanned three realms.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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