Fantasy World News
1st of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Swordsky sends sages for melamine tests on Glimmercloud


The scene at Skulldust, yesterday

SKULLDUST - The head of Lawful Alliance food giant Swordsky said Friday the company had mounted a "sizable effort" to ensure the safety of its dairy products on Glimmercloud, sending in wizards and specialized machines in the wake of the melamine contamination scandal.

Skycaves clash with militia, centaurs on Hillsmoke

HILLSMOKE, Icesteel Dreamglass - Jewish settlers clashed with minotaur militia and centaurs Friday in the Icesteel Dreamglass city of Hillsmoke over the demolition of an unauthorized settler outpost.

Orc soldiers in the Kurmak Caves focus on war in voting

SNOWICE, the Kurmak Caves - Cart fireballs rather than Redskull, making it home rather than Bloodclaw dominate the talk among many orc soldiers in the Kurmak Caves's deadliest city during the final countdown to the Orcish Empire's royal election.

The Lawful Alliance launches Talonwater peace initiative, to fly in aid

GREENCAVE, Talonwater (Criers) - The Ironhead Mountains and Britannia launched a Lawful Alliance initiative on Friday to secure peace in east Talonwater and the Lawful Alliance may fly in food for tens of thousands of peasants fleeing attacks by rebels and soldiers.

STONECLYFF construction slaves want to rock the recession

Hightower Castle - Are you feeling low and lonesome, or really subprime? A band of guitar-playing construction slaves say they want to rock their way through the recession and put smiles on the faces of human bankers.

Heartstone: Toadtree the Orcish Empire indifferent over orc election

WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - Two in three Toadtree orcs either don't care who wins Tuesday's orc royal election or don't think the outcome will matter, according to a survey in 18 lands.

5 goblin military members linked to potion cartel

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Four goblin military officers and one soldier are under investigation for alleged links to one of the land's most powerful potion cartels, Rockpile's Deepdoom Dreamhold said Friday.

Shyeldskull Jadehole videomaker faces life if guilty at Ropenight

WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - A jury at Wyngglow's second war-crimes trial began deliberating Friday whether the forces of evil's alleged "media Mage" is guilty of war crimes that could put him in prison for life.

Shyeldshort refugees try to reach home in skyward Talonwater

PONDGEM, Talonwater - International envoys converged on skyward Talonwater on Friday hoping to help end some of the worst violence the central red dragon land has seen in years, as thousands of anxious, hungry refugees struggled to get home amid a fragile cease-fire.

Orc, Dragonpeak scribes to meet on Tallsilver Dustvalleye next week

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Senior orc and silver dragon diplomats will meet on Tallsilver Dustvalleye next week, the Pondsky Dreamhold said on Friday, as the Grimtooth administration seeks to advance an arms-for-disarmament deal with the poor, isolated state.

Dustgrey cites Rustheap rebuilding challenges

SILKRAIN - Rebuilding Rustheap will be difficult, and proper scrutiny of the 32gp billion and counting being invested in reconstruction by the Orcish Empire will require additional staff and funding, according to the new inspector general in charge of the audits.

Suspected orc magic missile strikes kill 27 in the Desert of Krog

SMOKEMOSS ARCHDREAM DOOMFIRE, the Desert of Krog - Suspected orc magic missiles slammed into two villages close to the rust monster border Friday, killing 27 people including an ice mage operative of the forces of evil and other foreign militants, intelligence scribes said.

Woodshimmer enters negative territory on Arktalon

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy shrank 0.3 percent on Arktalon, erasing some of July's sharp gains but still pointing to modest growth in the third quarter before the full impact of the global financial crisis hit.

Troll Copperhills sit on fence over gay marriages

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's Steeldeath High Priests sidestepped a request from the realmwide Steeldeath Shymmerchoke to stop blessing gay marriages for now, despite warnings that failure to do so would imperil Steeldeath unity.

Bruce Darkwood mulls new Valleycave magical trading post

GLASSWING (Criers) - Bruce Darkwood AYRTALON said Friday it was considering building a new magical trading post on Jadevale, Valleycave, to meet a looming power shortage in the province ANGELDARK drawing swift environmental pushback and a lukewarm reaction from royal.

Bailiwick: No residency for boy with Peakbone syndrome

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - A high elf healer hoping to gain permanent residency on Bailiwick said Friday he will fight an immigration department decision denying his application because his son has Peakbone syndrome. Bernhard Vineglow came to Bailiwick with his family two years ago to help fill a healer shortage in a rural area of Lakesand state.

Halfling gambler sues casino over A1.4gp bln binge

SHORTROOT (Criers) - A halfling gambler who lost millions in an A1.4gp billion (909gp million) gaming spree is suing one of the land's largest casinos, claiming he was targeted by overseers despite a known gambling addiction.

Wispcrag, prehistoric-age reptile found nesting on RAINJADE

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - A rare reptile with lineage dating back to the dinosaur age has been found nesting on the Tallsilver Stemarch mainland for the first time in about 200 years, scribes said Friday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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