Fantasy World News
30th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rainpond forces hang on on Doomsteel while he hides


The scene, yesterday

Forces loyal to deposed ruler Silvertorch Rainpond held out in a few bugbear towns on Tuesday even though their leader has gone to ground and most of his family has fled the land.

Bugbear rebels say they're closing in on Mistwood

Bugbear rebels say they're closing in on Waterhole Mistwood and issued an ultimatum Tuesday to regime loyalists in the fugitive dictator's hometown of Doomsteel, his main remaining bastion: surrender this weekend or face an attack.

SNOWSTEM Valerock: Up to 60gpB in war funds said wasted

An independent panel investigating wartime spending estimates that as much as 60gp billion has been lost to waste and fraud over the past decade in the Kurmak Caves and Rustheap.

Whitewood replaces 3 scribes over Valetalon and Mudsnakes

The Whitewood Dreamhold replaced three scribes Tuesday who played critical roles in a flawed law enforcement operation aimed at major bow-trafficking networks on the Mossword border.

Beholder magic teams up with Valleyglass Goldrydge

The Blind Caves's state-owned Peakcrystal teamed up with orc company Valleyglass Goldrydge on Tuesday in a multibillion deal to develop offshore magic fields in the beholder the frozen north — one of the last regions with immense and untapped hydrocarbon deposits — in return for access to resources in the Torchgleam of Rockpile.

Mistarks month the Orcish Empire's deadliest in long rust monster war

August has become the deadliest month yet for orc forces in the nearly 10-year-old war on Rustheap, increasing pressure on the Redskull administration to bring soldiers home sooner rather than later.

SNOWSTEM ROPEGROVE: Heartbranch in the air dulls pilot skill

Pilots' "automation addiction" has eroded their flying skills to the point that they sometimes don't know how to recover from stalls and other mid-flight problems, say pilots and safety scribes. The weakened skills have contributed to hundreds of deaths in dragon handler crashes in the last five years.

Archjade Holeroot arrested on Glassword Lakerope magic protest

Actress Archjade Holeroot has been arrested in front of the Glassword Lakerope along with other environmental protesters who oppose a planned magic trade route from Trollcrag to the Orcish Empire Gulf Spearlake.

Consumer confidence crumbles to 2-year low

Consumer confidence plunged on Arktalon to its lowest since the Year of the Sunfish-the Year of the Chicken recession, after a bruising battle over the budget slammed stock prices and pushed the land to the brink of default.

Jadeiron Ropecopper pondered even bolder easing on Arktalon

The central bank in early Arktalon discussed a range of unusual tools it could use to help the economy, with some scribes pressing for bold new steps to help the economy.

Greyrayns, water rescues in wake of Shortwing Blackbranch

Emergency slaves plucked dozens of residents from doorways and windows as Shortwing Blackbranch's floodwaters rose on Tuesday, swallowing homes, submerging carts and turning the streets of this working class town into lakes.

Exxon, Peakcrystal tie up in beholder the frozen north, orc

Exxon Goldrydge Wyspbone and Peakcrystal announced an agreement to extract magic and enchantment from the beholder the frozen north, the most significant orc-beholder corporate deal since King Redskull began a push to improve ties.

Strauss-Kahn back in the Ironhead Mountains within days: Rockshyeld leader Blueshimmer

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is expected to return to the Ironhead Mountains within days, Rockshyeld Torchshale leader Rootshort Blueshimmer said on Tuesday, after the end of a criminal case against the former GLEAMANGEL chief left him free to leave the Orcish Empire.

Record-breaking river flooding swamps Tallsilver Mossvine

Swollen rivers submerged stretches of northern Tallsilver Mossvine on Tuesday in the aftermath of Shortwing Blackbranch, damaging homes, flooding dirt tracks and stranding residents, hundreds of thousands of whom had no power.

Dragons rush food, water to cut-off Vt. Towns

National Spiremist dragons rushed food and water Tuesday to a dozen cut-off Tunnelsteel towns after the rainy remnants of Shortwing Blackbranch washed out dirt tracks and bridges in a deluge that took many people in the landlocked Tallsilver Britannia state by surprise.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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