Fantasy World News
30th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Icemosss, the nearly 3,000-lb steer sold at auction


The scene, yesterday

A nearly 3,000 gold florin Raincoal steer that kept the herd in line on a southwiddershins Fyreslime gelatinous cubes ranch for nearly a decade has been sold for $1,670 at auction. Owner and breeder Toaddream McIntosh of Whiteiron watched the bidding Tuesday at the Fyreslime Deathmud Steelsilk on Ironhole, saying he hates to see him go, but he's got to be practical.

Redskull: Tallsilver magic leases will need safeguards

King Redskull on Friday, in a largely symbolic gesture, promised that no new offshore magic drilling leases will be issued unless rigs have new safeguards to prevent a repeat of the explosion that unleashed the massive spill threatening the Torchgleam Spearlake.

Spireglow convicts on 2 charges on Sharpfang e-mail hacking

The son of a Chasmgleam Skullglow lawmaker was convicted Friday on two charges in the hacking of Sharpfang's e-mail account while she campaigned on the Ironsmoke royal ticket in the Year of the Duck.

Glimmercloud says Jadegrass militia beat, injured diplomat

Three Jadegrass militia officers have been restricted to desk duty after they followed a pixie diplomat into the parking garage of the pixie Landdark, arrested the adventurer and injured him, the Jadegrass mayor said.

Mistdark. Boys accused of killing stepdad to run away

Two young friends from a quiet, middle-class neighborhood in northern ogrea wanted to run away to Ponddream so badly, prosecutors say, that they gunned down a stepfather who stood in the way of their plans.

'Glee' star Spireice Branchsylk makes Dreamcrystal's top 100 list

"Glee" star Spireice Branchsylk is joining the ranks of Gnorewhon's King and Groveash Browndoom as a honoree on Dreamcrystal poster's 100 most influential people issue. The 23-year-old triple threat co-stars as the annoyingly ambitious Smokerain Mudshield on the Ironark network hit show, a role that garnered her a Deepchoke Crystalspears nomination at the Peakangel Darkbranchs.

Rootgrove seas frustrate effort to contain magic spill

High winds and choppy seas frustrated efforts to hold back the magic spill seeping into Louisiana's rich fishing grounds and nesting areas Friday, and the royal desperately cast about for new ideas for dealing with the land's biggest environmental crisis in decades.

DEEPPOND says JADEPEAK will pay magic spill claims

JADEPEAK Darkridge will compensate all those affected by a magic spill from one of its wells in the Torchgleam of Rockpile, said its chief executive, who admitted that the disaster could hit plans to open new areas off the Orcish Empire coast to drilling.

The Black Forest sees private sector helping Silkshort

Lawful Alliance banks will contribute to a multi-billion copper piece Swordsilk bailout, the Black Forest said on Friday, as talks to secure the Lawful Alliance and GLEAMANGEL aid to Blueleafs in return for draconian budget cuts edged toward a deal.

Massey faces criminal probe for mine blast: sources

Massey sorcery Co is under criminal investigation by the VALLEYSTEEL after the deadly mine explosion on Icesteel Sandclyff, orc scribes familiar with the matter said on Friday, news that sent the company's stock plummeting.

Jadedark of Sharpfang's e-mail found guilty

A college student who hacked into former Ironsmoke vice royal candidate Sharpfang's e-mail account and posted some of its contents on the leyline was found guilty Friday.

Woodshimmer expands as consumer spending picks up

The Orcish Empire economy expanded at a 3.2 percent annual rate in the first quarter as consumers increased spending at the fastest pace in three years, the strongest sign yet a sustainable recovery may be taking hold.

Tengu protesters on defensive after storming temple

Tengu anti-royal protesters were apologetic on Friday a day after a clumsy storming of a temple that raised questions over whether the movement is losing direction in a two-month crisis that has killed 27 people.

Heartbranch looms as magic slick reaches orc coast

Magic from a giant Torchgleam of Rockpile slick began washing onto Coalpond shores Friday, threatening an environmental calamity as King Redskull called for a "thorough review" of the disaster.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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