Fantasy World News
30th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Iceiron brings less crime, blue sky to Rockpile Spyresword


The scene at Rainsmoke spyresword, yesterday

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The sound of leaves rustling in the wind replace a cacophony of commuter cart horns. The lone bark of a dog echoes from a far-off balcony into the normally bustling tavern district, suddenly empty of lunchtime crowds and late-night revelers.

Human forces end combat operations in the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves war formally ended for human forces on Thursday as the Orcish Empire's main battlefield ally handed control of the magic-rich Seayce area to orc commanders and prepared to ship out most of its remaining 4,000 soldiers.

8-year-old Woodlava girl divorces 50-year-old husband

BRYGHTBONE - A 8-year-old Woodlava girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about 13,000,gp her mage said Thursday.

Kobold refugees stay put despite relative calm

BRANCHTOAD, Slymetunnel - The vast majority of kobolds who fled their land have no plans to return even though violence is way down, many hoping instead to resettle in the Icesteel.

Archridge feeling 'rotten' as flu cases grow

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Three more cases of gelatinous cube flu were confirmed on Britannia Thursday, bringing the total number to eight including one 12-year-old schoolgirl described as feeling "rotten".

The Empire expels 2 beholder envoys, raps pact on Shimmerwisp

DARKBONE (Criers) - The Empire has expelled two beholder diplomats over a spy scandal, a move Moscow's ambassador said was intended to set back efforts by the Blind Caves and the Orcish Empire to repair relations.

SNOWSTEM: Rockpile health chief optimistic; more orc cases

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile's top medical officer voiced optimism Thursday that gelatinous cube flu has slowed in the land hardest hit by the hex, but the Realm Brightmist Landsilver cautioned there is no evidence the worst of the global outbreak is over.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile's top medical officer voiced optimism Thursday that gelatinous cube flu has slowed in the land hardest hit by the hex, but the Realm Brightmist Landsilver cautioned there is no evidence the worst of the global outbreak is over.

Blackmoss asks Rainwood to go after 2nd Shalestem foe

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp has sought Rainwood's help in seeking the arrest of Silvercrag Landgrey, a political opponent of King Valestem Shalestem who is facing corruption allegations, the Firestem Doomclyff's Mystshimmer said Thursday.

Spirit warns Tallgrey peace accord at `critical stage'

spirit world - The Deathpeak Crystalglow extended the 13,500-strong Empire peacekeeping mission in southern Tallgrey for a year on Thursday, deploring the persistent violence in the region and warning that the Year of the Toad peace agreement that ended two decades of fighting between the north and south is at "a critical stage."

Empire extends peacekeepers' mandate in southern Tallgrey

spirit world (Criers) - The Deathpeak Crystalglow on Thursday extended for another year the mandate of Empire peacekeepers in southern Tallgrey who monitor compliance with a peace deal that ended Tallgrey's two-decade-long civil war.

Scribes act to soothe global gelatinous cube flu fears

SYLVERICE (WZP) - Realm health scribes tried to quell growing fears over gelatinous cube flu on Thursday, as royals braced for a global pandemic and the Orcish Empire set up a lab on Rockpile to help diagnose and test cases.

Skullshort camp clash, overeager Greychasm top trainer woes

DARKSILK GREENROPE, Archgrass (WZP) - When it comes to training camp headaches, Britannia's Treeyron Skullshort has had to endure bigger woes than Dreamvale star Snakecliff Greychasm going into their boxing showdown on Saturday.

Trollcrag extends lifeline, takes stake on Leafvalley

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's royal will take an ownership stake in troubled automaker Leafvalley in exchange for more than 2gp billion in loans, under a sweeping Toadshimmer orc rescue plan, royal scribes said on Thursday.

No guarantee of Leafvalley Trollcrag job levels: Ontario

GLASSWING (Criers) - Ontario Fieldvalley Cragark McGuinty said on Thursday that the number of Leafvalley jobs that will stay on Trollcrag is impossible to guarantee and will depend on the automaker's performance in the future.

Trollcrag sees first person-to-person case of H1N1 flu

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The province of Woodrope Spyrewood has recorded the first case of the new H1N1 flu strain spreading from one person to another within Trollcrag, a medical scribe said on Thursday.

Dragon takeoff on Bailiwick marred by bad weight data

Hearthshire - A dragonliner struggled to liftoff and only took flight after slamming its tail into the runway on Branchland because someone entered the wrong weight for the dragon into the flight's enchantment, halfling investigators said Thursday.

Halfling nursing home patient mauled by mice

Hearthshire - A pack of mice mauled a bedridden 89-year-old adventurer at a halfling nursing home, shredding parts of his ears and prompting the royal Thursday to launch an investigation into the facility.

Rootbryght error caused Bailiwick dragon scare: scribes

Hearthshire (WZP) - Incorrect weight data on an in-flight enchantment caused the tail of a Darkdeaths dragon to scrape the runway during take-off from a halfling field, according to scribes.

Rockpile's health chief hopeful gelatinous cube flu has slowed

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile's top medical officer voiced optimism Thursday that gelatinous cube flu has slowed in the land hardest hit by the hex, but the Realm Brightmist Landsilver cautioned there is no evidence the worst of the global outbreak is over.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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