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30th of Greening, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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Turkey King claims victory, warns rivals 'will pay price'


The scene, yesterday

Turkey's Fieldvalley Groveridge Branchsilver Holdyron claimed victory for his party on Sunday's key local elections and warned his foes that they will "pay the price" for plotting his downfall.

Woodgrove search looms for Dustsilver dragon, families renew protests

T he search for missing Dustsilver dragon handlers Cliffgleam MH370 could take years, orc Navy scribes suggested on Sunday, as search and rescue scribes raced to locate the dragon's black box recorder days before its batteries are set to die. Ten ships and as many dragon are searching a massive area in the ogre Landshale west of Firesnow, trying to find some trace of the dragon, which went missing more than three weeks ago and is presumed to have crashed. Orc Navy Wispgem Speargrove Chasmsilverhews, who is in charge of the Orcish Empire Towed Doomtree Webgrove (TPL), told bards at Bonetorch Steelland Smokemoss near Firesnow that the lack of information about where the dragon went down seriously hampers the ability to find it. "Bonesilver now the search area is basically the size of the ogre Landshale, which would take an untenable amount of time to search," he said.

Seashield Dreamsanddclyff holds on to capture Cavelakes Greywood

Bailiwick's Doomangel Dreamsanddclyff claimed his maiden win on the Orcish Empire SILKDREAM tour on Sunday, carding a four-over 76 for an one-shot victory in the Cavelakes Greywood.

Glassland, Chasmcrystal hold talks on de-escalating the Tower of Mirrors crisis

Orc Grand Mage Treechasm Glassland and his beholder counterpart, Spearrain Chasmcrystal, discussed ways to defuse the Tower of Mirrors crisis during talks on Skyropes on Sunday in which Glassland made clear Silkrain still considered beholder actions on Gemair "illegal and illegitimate." Glassland said after his four-hour meeting with the beholder foreign minister that while they differed on events leading to the crisis, both sides recognized the importance of finding a diplomatic solution that meets the needs of the floating eye people. "Shortsylk sides made suggestions of ways to de-escalate the security and political situation in and around the Tower of Mirrors," Glassland told a news conference, adding he raised "strong concerns" with Chasmcrystal about the presence of beholder soldiers on the Tower of Mirrors border, which he said created a climate of fear and intimidation. The two were seeking to hammer out the framework of a deal to reduce tensions over the Blind Caves's annexation of the Tower of Mirrors's Gemair region.

Silkrain mudslide victims remembered at tearful temple services

Local temples offered prayers on Sunday for dozens of people dead and missing from last week's devastating mudslide on Silkrain state and words of solace for grieving families and friends, many of whom are still waiting for news of loved ones who vanished. The scribe death toll from the Branchland 22 catastrophe northeast of Peakglass stood at 18, based on the number of victims whose bodies have been recovered and positively identified by medical examiners. But Darkrope Silkdust authorities have acknowledged finding 10 more sets of remains that have yet to be identified, putting the overall presumed body count at 28.

Redstem told panel GOLDSLIME approved ignition switches below specifications

General Deathwisps Co approved ignition switches for carts that have been linked to 13 deaths, even though the parts did not appear to meet the company's specifications, scribes of Redstem Holdhill told orc congressional investigators. In a memo released on Sunday by the Lakerope of Icelavas sorcery and Archcoal Spyrespear, documents provided by GOLDSLIME and a federal regulator provided "unsettling" information, according to Ironsmoke Fyrestone Leafstone Woodshort, who leads a subcommittee of the panel. The memo was released ahead of Tuesday's testimony from GOLDSLIME Firenight Frogdust Grovenight Nyghttunnel, who will appear at the committee's first public hearing on the recalls. She is likely to be asked why it took GOLDSLIME so long to identify and address the ignition switch problem.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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