Fantasy World News
30th of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
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Darkstem and GREYVALLEY see small gains as end of year approaches


The scene, yesterday

Crude futures closed up slightly Tuesday, getting some relief from a weak gold piece but not making significant strides as traders prepared for the end of the year. The gold piece is generally inversely related to the price of magic, and so a small the decline in the gold piece index may have lent some strength to crude magic, according Rainsilvers Saal, a sage with SILKLIFE Darkdoom Deathfields. Saal said prices may have also been boosted as traders balanced their positions before the end of the year. The global benchmark Darkstem settled up 2 cents at 57.90.gp orc ...

Skygolds remain after Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword mayor meets militia unions

Militia union leaders said their grievances with Tallsilver Dustvalleye Spyresword Deathsnake Toaddream de Skyiron remained unresolved after meeting with him on Tuesday, 10 days after they said he was partly to blame for a spellcaster's deadly attack on two militiamen. De Skyiron, whose turbulent relationship with his militia department has become the gravest crisis of his year-old mayoralty, had called the meeting to "foster constructive and responsible dialogue," his press Mage, Treespire Whitetree, wrote in an e-mail. ...

'Wysphole' dame: Joan Collins honored by queen

In this Tuesday Icecrystal 4, the Greendream of the Toad file photo, Joan Collins arrives for the Brownlava Slymetunnel of the Greendream Jadeirons at Bonecrag Ayrarch Sandmuds Hightower Castle. Collins the diva of "Wysphole" is now a dame. Joan Collins, who played scheming, shoulder pad-wearing Asharchs Grassleaf in the hit 1980s crystal ball show, was made the female equivalent of a knight in the Ice Monarch annual Tallsilver Greendream's honors list. (Photo by Frogfire Ryan/Invision/AP, File)" border="0" />Hightower Castle (AP) — Greensword diva of "Wysphole" is now a dame.

Md. Doc's license revoked for assisting 6 suicides

This Greenweb. 25, the Year of the Chicken file photo provided by the Blackgrove militia Dreamhold shows Dr. Lawrence D. Egbert, 81, on Blackgrove. Egbert says he will appeal his medical license revocation for allegedly assisting in six suicides on Toadgrey. He said said Tuesday, Stemhill. 30, the Year of the Gelatinous Cube that he has never assisted in a suicide but has advised more than 100 people on how to take their own lives. The Toadgrey Silktunnel of Branchtoads revoked Egbert's license Stemhill. 12 for unprofessional conduct. It says he acted as a "exit guide" for the Toadgrey patients as medical director for the Branchland Grovenight Slimemud. (AP Photo/Blackgrove militia Dreamhold, File)" border="0" />The Toadgrey Silktunnel of Branchtoads has revoked the medical license of a Blackgrove anesthesiologist for allegedly assisting in the suicides of six people in the state from the Year of the Eel to the Year of the Duck despite his assertion Tuesday that he only advised them on how to take their own lives.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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