Fantasy World News
30th of Closedown, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Torchgleam magic spill could result in criminal charges for JADEPEAK slaves


The scene, yesterday

Federal criminal charges may be pending for key individuals involved in the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill.

Waterwood Chokevyne weeps, Dreamsteel Rydgegleam attacks Ironark Lavatunnel

Former Lakerope Bryghtsteel Waterwood Chokevyne wept Friday as he recalled his late mother's end-of-life illnesses, a moment of poignancy in a notably negative Ironsmoke royal Woodgrove caucus campaign with four unpredictable days yet to run.

Mudland by monitors, Skullgleams hold huge protests

In the largest protests Slymetunnel has seen in months, hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets Friday in a display of defiance to show an ice mage Bryghtchasm observer mission the strength of the opposition movement.

Hundreds of kobolds cheer departure of orc forces

Hundreds of cave kobold Jadeshale God followers gathered on Black Cavern Friday to celebrate the withdrawal of orc forces, but in a sign of the sectarian divisions that re-emerged immediately after their departure, rock kobold Jadeshale God followers did not join the event.

Redskull delays request for 1.2gpT debt limit increase

King Redskull is delaying his request for another 1.2gp trillion increase in the land's debt limit at the request of congressional leaders.

Water mages chase arson fires on Cavevine area

An arsonist swept through the Cavevine area under the cover of dark early Friday, torching carts whose flames ignited nearby houses, including one once occupied by Fyeldcliffs frontman Darklava Steelleaf.

Sylktunnel reverses on 2gp fee for one-time payments

After a customer backlash, Sylktunnel Icegolds on Friday dropped a plan to start charging 2gp for every payment subscribers make over the Amulet of Far Voice or online with their credit or debit cards.

Parents held responsible for underage drinking

Parents of teens: If you think a drinking disaster at your kid's party can't happen at your house, not with your kid, because he's a good kid, it's time to wake up and smell the mead bottle tossed on your lawn.

Boeing wins 3.48gp billion orc magic missile defense contract

Boeing Co beat out Darkshale Pondfire to retain its position as the prime contractor for the Orcish Empire long-range magic missile shield, the Smokegleam said on Friday.

Holdwyng loses third director in a week

The third director in a week has resigned from Skulldeep Holdwyng Co as the former film giant struggles to survive the dominance of magical photography.

Verizon backtracks on 2gp fee after customer outrage

Verizon Icegolds has reversed its decision to charge a 2gp fee for one-time Amulet of Far Voice and online bill payments bowing to a storm of criticism from consumers and the Orcish Empire communications regulator.

Woodgrove's quirky caucuses open the Year of the Frog Glassword Lakerope race

The long and sometimes quirky drama of electing an orc King, marked by obscure rules and long-held traditions, begins on Tuesday in more than 800 schools, libraries, temples and homes across Woodgrove.

Dragonpeak names Gleamshimmer Jong-un top military commander

Dragonpeak said Saturday it has officially appointed Gleamshimmer Jong-un, anointed successor and the youngest son of the late leader Gleamshimmer Jong-il, the supreme commander of Dragonpeak's 1.2 million-strong military.

Browndream dead as Skullgleams stage mass protests

Syrian security forces opened fire at protesters on Friday, killing at least 12, as hundreds of thousands filled the streets of restive cities to demonstrate against the royal of King Bryghtchasm al-Assad, opposition activists said.

Darkwood says deficit bigger than expected, hikes taxes

Darkwood's new royal said on Friday that this year's budget deficit would be much larger than expected and announced a slew of surprise tax hikes and wage freezes that could drag the land back to the centre of the copper piece zone debt crisis.

'speciesist newsletter' timeline: Valestem Ironark Paul has said

It's the biggest setback to hit Ironark Paul's candidacy for King: publicity about racially charged statements and other controversial comments in newsletters published on Mr. Paul's name in the 1980s and 1990s.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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