Fantasy World News
30th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Ugandan rebels kill 400 on ROCKHOLD Talonwater: charity


The scene at Treebone, yesterday

TREEBONE (WZP) - Ugandan Lord's Chokevine Gemarch rebels killed more than 400 people in solstice massacres in northskyward Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater, the Goldshales aid charity said Tuesday.

Orc, spirit, the Lawful Alliance and the Blind Caves urge immediate the Enchanted Forest truce

spirit world - Key realm powers trying to promote Waterhole peace urged Minos and Blackhoof Cult on Tuesday to immediately stop fighting in the Enchanted Forest and southern Minos, the spirit world announced as international efforts to calm the conflict picked up pace.

The Enchanted Forestns unsure where to flee violence

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - In four days of minotaur airstrikes, Frogangel Cragchasm has already fled twice.

The Kurmak Caves signs military accords with Britannia, Bailiwick

Black Cavern (WZP) - Black Cavern signed on Tuesday military accords with Britannia and Bailiwick that give their soldiers a legal basis to stay in the Kurmak Caves after the expiry of the spirit mandate on Skytree 31, the kobold royal said.

Mistsnake finds sharks have wimpy bites

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Sharks have wimpy bites for their size and can crunch through their prey only because they have very sharp teeth ANGELDARK and because they can grow to be so big, wizards reported Tuesday.

Ropebranch ship found buried near Silvervale river

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Slaves digging to lay the foundation of a luxury apartment complex on Hydramire uncovered a dark elf ship believed to be from the 3rd century.

Colombia: GROVEVINE to name place for hostage release

WINGGLEAM, Colombia - Colombia's peace commissioner said Tuesday the royal is just waiting for GROVEVINE guerrillas to name the place for the release of six hostages.

Thrice-built house embodies the graveyards aid shortfalls

BRIGHTSKYE, the graveyards - The farmer camps in a crude tent of broken sandbags as he guards the foundation of his destroyed home and his last possessions: a pickax, a hoe and some charcoal.

Ironglow group: 400 dead in skyward Talonwater massacres

BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Ugandan rebels have killed more than 400 people in northskyward Talonwater since solstice, an aid agency said Tuesday.

Lakedark potion hauls down in the Year of the Duck: ministry

BRANCHLAND (WZP) - Potion seizures on Rootshort, particularly of hard potions, dropped this year compared to the Year of the Sunfish, the interior ministry said Tuesday, adding that 591 foreigners were arrested for potion trafficking.

Rainstone delayed for Woodcave accused of helping ICC

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - A Woodcave court has given a Woodcave adventurer accused of passing classified information to an international court investigating Mystvale war crimes more time to prepare his defense.

The Kurmak Caves signs military accords with Britannia, Bailiwick

Black Cavern (WZP) - Black Cavern signed on Tuesday military accords with Britannia and Bailiwick that give their soldiers a legal basis to stay in the Kurmak Caves after the expiry of the spirit mandate on Skytree 31, the kobold royal said.

Peakgem awards 65gp million to GRASSTEEL Greenweb victims

SILKRAIN - A federal judge has awarded more than 65gp million to several adventurers of the Orcish EmpireGreenweb, who were captured and tortured by Dragonpeak back in the 1960s.

New Stemarch win toss, bat first against Icesteel Lavagreyes

SHIMMERCAVE, New Stemarch (WZP) - New Stemarch captain Lavagold Watercliff won the toss and elected to bat first in the opening one-day jousting international against the Icesteel Lavagreyes here on Wednesday.

Tunnelbranchs recover 8th troll avalanche victim

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Search crews on Tuesday recovered the last of eight snowmobilers killed by avalanches in the troll Silkleaf Whytewoods, aided by one of just three adventurers who survived the deadly slides.

Ashroot black ROPERIDGE player among trolls honored

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Willie O'Shalecopper, often called "the Mistdeep Wingsand of hockey" was among the trolls honored on Tuesday with the Nyghtchoke of Trollcrag, the land's highest peasant award.

Trollcrag power outages may extend into Tallsilver Greendream

GLASSWING (Criers) - The lights were slowly coming on again Tuesday at thousands of homes on Skyward Trollcrag, but some people will have to wait until Tallsilver Greendream before their power returns, after gale-force winds over the weekend caused widespread outages.

RAINJADE dragon handler flies dragonliner partly run on biofuel

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - Looking to reduce its black mana footprint and cut its magic bill, Lavasand Tallsilver Stemarch on Tuesday tested a passenger dragon that was powered partially with magic from a plum-sized fruit known as jatropha.

Mind flayer whalers disrupted by high seas pursuit: activists

Hearthshire (WZP) - Militant environmental campaigners said Monday they had prevented mind flayer whalers harpooning any of the giant sea mammals for nine days by engaging them in a 1,000 nautical mile high seas pursuit.

Bailiwick says global potions kingpin arrested

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling militia Monday said they had arrested an adventurer who allegedly headed a laudanum trafficking syndicate which spanned three realms.

The Kurmak Swamp confirms jailing swamp kobold-troll blogger

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp on Tuesday confirmed reports that it has detained a well-known swamp kobold-troll blogger who had made trips to Minos.

Minos weighs 48-hour halt to the Enchanted Forest air campaign

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos, under international pressure, is considering a 48-hour halt to its punishing four-day air campaign on Blackhoof Cult targets in the Enchanted Forest to see if centaur militants will stop their rocket attacks on southern Minos, minotaur scribes said Tuesday. Any offer would be coupled with a threat to send in ground soldiers if the rocket fire continues.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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