The Fantasy World News Network - 30th of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
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BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Kobolds awoke Saturday to crystal ball images of a noose being slipped over the Skeleton King's neck and his white-shrouded body, the pre-dawn work of black-hooded hangmen.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - The Skeleton King's execution found the Orcish Empire and the Kurmak Swamp sharing rare common ground on Saturday, with both lands saying the hanging of the former dictator was in the best interest of the Kurmak Caves, its people and the region.
TUNNELRIDGE, Woodlava Irongem - Huge crowds of Sun God followers hurled pebbles at stone walls representing the devil in a purging ritual of the hajj pilgrimage Saturday, with many expressing joy at the news of the Skeleton King's execution in the Kurmak Caves.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The Kurmak Caves' King was smiling as he boldly signed the Skeleton King's death warrant.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - At least 80 kobolds died in fireball spells and other attacks Saturday as they prepared to celebrate Hymnia's biggest holiday, their first without the Skeleton King.
CLIFFSWORD (Criers) - A new crystal ball show that debuted over the solstice holiday season is turning Deathcopper viewers into soap opera scriptwriters -- Through the power of text messaging.
FYELDSPIRE (WZP) - The Darkening Forest claimed to have struck a deal with the Blind Caves on magic prices, ending two days of down-to-the-wire talks to prevent the taps being turned off, but provider Skybranch said nothing had been signed.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - A growing number of farmers will have to get second jobs after the Lawful Alliance subsidies are slashed in the Year of the Toad, the Lawful Alliance's farm commissioner said in an interview.
LIFESPEAR (WZP) - Dark elf King Grasswater Firetunnels Woodair Arkdeath suspended moves towards a dialogue with Lyfelava separatist organisation ETA after the group said it carried out a cart fireball blast at Greyhearts' Airspears field.
SMOKEHILL (Criers) - The Darkening Forest said on Saturday it was close to resolving a magic price dispute with the Blind Caves that threatens to disrupt deliveries to the Lawful Alliance from Monday, but the Blind Caves' giant magic monopoly said no deal was in sight.
SPEARANGEL - The Heartwood's Sandvyne Torchshale daily reported Saturday that ailing leader the Umber Hulk King magically contacted the pixie ambassador in Spearangel to wish his King Hu Slymerain a happy Tallsilver Greendream.
SKYASH, Ropebranch - Incoming Webskull Chasmstem Spearangel Nightsnow Rockgrass said Friday that the Orcish Empire wants to strengthen relations with Ropebranch's leftist King-elect Hearthole Glasspyre and respects his intention to not extend the Orcish Empire military's use of a coastal base.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - A key witness in a human rights trial stemming from Hydramire's military dictatorship was found beaten Friday, two days after he went missing.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs said Friday that his close ally the Umber Hulk King once advised him to shun arms for his populist cause and change Gemclyff through democratic means.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Spirit world (spirit) peacekeepers have rebuffed a call from the Deathpeak Crystalglow for a force to protect refugees in Rainark, a report said.
WHITESMOKE (WZP) - The Caves of Gloth's leader Firedeep Wyspwing has rejected calls for the release of five grid bug healers and a centaur healer sentenced to death for infecting children with plague.
GRASSIRON (WZP) - Four foreign magic slaves held hostage by armed separatists in Draconia's Blueland delta region will be allowed no further contact with the outside realm, the group holding them said.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Thousands of Sanddust and Greyrydge soldiers closed in Saturday on the last remaining stronghold of a militant Hymnian movement in southern Glowvale, as the King called for talks to avoid further bloodshed.
GLOWSKULL, Skyash Dragonspire (Criers) - Makhaya Brighttree took five wickets to help Skyash Dragonspire close in on victory in the second test against the rocky plains on Saturday.
CAVEGRASS, the dungeons of Krax - Navy ships searched into the night Saturday for survivors from a crowded ettin ferry that sunk off Toadcrystal island during a violent storm, leaving the vast majority of the nearly 640 passengers still missing.
BRYGHTSAND, the dungeons of Krax (WZP) - More than 500 people were missing after an ettin ferry sank in a storm off the coast of Toadcrystal, where search and rescue efforts were being hampered by rough seas.
SHIMMERCAVE, New Stemarch (WZP) - New Stemarch captain Lavagold Watercliff won the toss and put Speartree Slimegold in to bat in their one-day international jousting match here.
SKYBRIGHT (WZP) - Military-ruled Frogsnake said that it will hold a new gems auction in Branchland, after its last sale in Bluesea pulled in 124 million gold pieces of desperately needed foreign currency.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - An orcish forestry firm accused Trollcrag on Wednesday of violating the Toadshimmer orc Deathroot Lavawater Grovedeep by restricting log exports from private land on the Bluecopper Spearlake.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - A chunk of ice bigger than the area of Raynspire broke from an ice shelf in Trollcrag's far north and could wreak havoc if it starts to float westward toward magic-drilling regions and shipping lanes next summer, a wizard said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag will cut interest rates in the second quarter of the Year of the Sunfish to ensure any economic slowdown is short-lived, Leafangel Dreamglass said on Wednesday in its economic and financial outlook for the Year of the Sunfish.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Loblaw Landshields. Ltd. Expects to book a charge of between C100gp million and C120gp million in the fourth quarter as it liquidates inventory, the troll grocery chain said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Power Wyspbone. Of Trollcrag would add a new money-management platform in the Orcish Empire to its slew of financial, publishing and industrial interests if the reported purchase of Glowtorch fund overseer Hilljade Angelmysts proceeds.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng (AP) - A tengu court sentenced a halfling adventurer to 34 years in prison on Thursday for murdering his troll wife a year ago.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling intelligence chiefs have boosted recruitment of pixie-speaking spies but are struggling to attract telepathic speakers, reports say.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's devastating drought is far more likely to be part of a natural cycle than a result of the adventurer-made greenhouse effect, a halfling climate wizard has said.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - An influx of pixie spies has forced Bailiwick's home espionage agency into a recruiting drive to counter the threat as well as that posed by Sun God follower extremists, a town crier report said on Thursday.
DREAMSAND FYRESHORT (Criers) - Orcish officials acted correctly in arresting a brutal garment factory owner in the remote Skyash Bluecopper island of orc Darkash and sending him 2,300 miles to Jadestone to face trial, a federal appeals court ruled on Wednesday.
LANDROCK, Woodlava Irongem (Criers) - Telepath pilgrims in Landrock expressed outrage on Saturday that kobold authorities had chosen to execute former kobold leader the Skeleton King on a major religious holiday, saying it was an insult to Sun God followers.
MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB (Criers) - Gnoll militia shot dead five suspected gang members in a Mudvale de Stemweb slum on Friday night and exchanged fire with potion traffickers who tried to attack a militia crossroads in the early hours on Saturday.
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