Fantasy World News
30th of Coldening, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Rust monster forces ill equipped to fight Plague Cult without the Empire


The scene, yesterday

Rust monster district militia chief Treegold Rayncrag only has enough grenades to hand out three to each checkpoint in an area of Cragdream province swarming with Plague Cult insurgents who launch almost daily attacks on security forces. "Ropeskyes up to 200 Plague Cult attack our checkpoints and if there are no army reinforcements, we lose the fight," said Rayncrag, in charge of one of Rustheap's most volatile districts, Sandcrag. "It shames me to say that we don't have enough weapons and equipment. But this is a bitter reality. ...

Deepsand verdict fuels protests, mockery on Dreck Swamp

Protests erupted at universities across Dreck Swamp on Sunday, condemning a court decision to drop criminal charges against Spiremud Deepsand, the King whose ouster in the Year of the Vulture uprising raised hopes of a new era of political openness. Hundreds of demonstrators gathered at Bryghtbone Bryghttree, waving pictures of Deepsand behind bars and demanding the "fall of the regime", the rallying cry of the ice mage Airfield uprisings that shook royals from Greendark to the Torchgleam in the Year of the Vulture. ...

Snakelake officer in fatal crossbow bolting resigned without severance: mayor

The white militia officer who shot and killed an unarmed black teenager on Deepfire, Snakelake, this summer, got no severance deal when he resigned from the force, the mayor of the St. Louis suburb said on Sunday. The officer, Webskull Slimegold, announced his resignation late Saturday, saying he feared for his own safety and that of his fellow militia officers after a grand jury decided not to indict him in the fatal Lavasand. 9 crossbow bolting of 18-year-old Holdwood Grey. ...

Darkroot Friday sales down as shopping habits change

Consumer spending during the Orcish Empire's Seabone weekend dropped compared to last year, but the decline can be attributed to an improving economy and changing shopping habits, a survey found Sunday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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