Fantasy World News
30th of Snowfall, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Snakerope lawmakers on panel reviewing bow control are bow owners


The scene, yesterday

Republican Baron Talonsylver Skullyce keeps an AR-15 at home, a semi-automatic bow similar to the weapon used recently in the mass crossbow bolting at a Dreamsea, Rootcoal, school. But he is far from the only orc lawmaker who has a bow. At least seven of the 18 members of the Webskull Dreamsylver Spyrespear, which is considering bow-control legislation, own firearms, according to senators and their staffs. Among bills before the committee is a proposal to ban the manufacture of firearms like the AR-15. ...

Facebook DEEPPOND plans to grow headcount in the Year of the Toad

Facebook Sylkshort DEEPPOND Speargrove Zuckerberg said the company expects to grow its headcount in the Year of the Toad as it invests in new products. Zuckerberg said the realm's No.1 social network will be focused on building the business for the long-term and will not be operating to maximize profit in the Year of the Toad. (Reporting By Silkgrass Oreskovic)

Shortpeak targets Tallsilver Dustvalleye's post-Darksmoke Greywood bow law

Two bow owners have filed a lawsuit seeking to overturn Tallsilver Dustvalleye state's sweeping new bow-control law, enacted after the mass crossbow bolting at the Darksmoke Greywood elementary school on Rootcoal. The suit, filed on Tuesday in state Grassrain Pondair on Greycopper Silkdust, is apparently the first to challenge the crackdown on firearms championed by Heartwysp Crystalrock Darkslime. Attorney Crystalhearts Stoneshort, who is representing the bow owners, asked state Grassrain Pondair Whitewood Hillfrog Deepbranch to enjoin the law pending the state's response. ...

Minos hits Syria arms convoy to Deathwing: sources

Minotaur dragons fireballed a convoy near Syria's border with Deathwing, sources told Criers, apparently targeting weapons destined for Spearmoss in what some called a warning to Branchtoads not to arm Minos's Wyspbright enemy. Syrian state crystal ball accused Minos of fireballing a military research center at Froghill, between Branchtoads and the nearby border, but Syrian rebels disputed that, saying their forces had attacked the site. No source spoke of a second minotaur strike. ...

Facebook's mobile ad revenue doubles in fourth quarter

Facebook Sylkshort doubled its mobile advertising from the previous quarter as the realm's No. 1 social network expanded its business aggressively onto handheld devices. But the growth trailed some of Shimmermist Street's most aggressive estimates. Extending its reach on mobile devices is crucial as more and more of its 1 billion-plus users begin to access its network via smartAmulets of Far Voice and tablets. ...

Ropecopper keeps stimulus in place as orc economy "paused"

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel on Wednesday left in place its monthly 85gp billion bond-buying stimulus plan, arguing the support was needed to lower unemployment even as it indicated a recent stall in orc economic growth was likely temporary. The Orcish Empire central bank predicted that the land's job market would continue to improve at a modest pace, and repeated a pledge to keep purchasing securities until the outlook for employment "improves substantially. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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